I need your help! Plz bro's

[Jawad]

Hi My names Jawad from london, Ive got a friend which im not going to name who needs alot of guidance and help...I wanna help her but my knowledge is limited and i need your advice bro's and especially sisters.

Basically my friend's a muslim who lost her virginity before marraige and the the guy ran out on her(typical). As of know she isnt sure if shes pregnant or not and she doesnt want to tell her perants even though ive strained that telling her perants is the best option but she just wont budge because she thinks her perants will kick her out the house. I need religious and practical advice for her so that is why im asking here.

What should she do practically and religiously? Im looking forward for advice!!!

 

[Waseem Hanif]

salamu aleikum,

I have no idea. But I think she should wait a couple of months untill shes really sure that shes pregnant or not. I dont know about telling her parents, that would only cause more trouble.

 

[Moadeeb]

salamu aleikum Bro,

You might need to ask a scholar about that situation. Try islamonline.net, check the "ask a scholar" link.

Salam

Moadeeb

 

[OmarTheFrench]

Religiously, "az-zina" is totally forbidden...and punished by the Sharia.

I'm sorry to be rude bro, but if Allah gives us "strict" interdictions(I talk about the BIG SINS) its not to harass us but to preserve us,your case is an exemple.

Now I don't have any solution for your Friend and her parents(we ask religious question to avoid sins, not the contrary), but she Should repent hersefl, FIRST in front of Allah before think about her parents reaction,its the more important thing...

May Allah help and guide her.

 

[zaid6236]

:salam2: hello bro, i agree with omar. if you worry about people thats mean nothing. Worry of Allah is what you should think. Now take it step by step or just go through it. Time will past then you will now of is going to happen. good luck.

 

[Angela Hillyer]

salam alaikom

first your friend should definately get a pregnancy test just to make sure. For all she knows she might not even be pregnant.

Then she needs to ask Allah for help and guidance.

 

[Munawar]

:salam2:
I don't know what to say. It looks like she is more worried about her parents and not worried about Allah at all. I think it should be other way round.

Just think about it, if she dies tomorrow then she will have the sin of zinna on her for which she may burn in hell fire. You/she may think these are just words, but try putting your hand on stove for just 10 seconds, or just 5 seconds, now imagine in Jahannum not just hand but the whole body will be on fire for not just a dew seconds but for a very long time. So first of all, she should repent and sincerely ask for forgiveness. If she does that then she or you won't have to ask us what to do.

You see if she doesn't repent sincerely, and then if turns out that she was not pregenent, then there is a good chance that she might do the same thing again.

Islam provides safeguards against these social ills, but to get benefits from these safeguards you need to follow Islam truely. And as a bonus you also get Jannah.

 

[abdul ghaleeb]

this is very serious..this is a form of adultery and can result in seriously lashing under strict sharia law in strict islamic countries..... but may Allaah(swt) be gentle on them and forgive them and all of us and bid us refuge from the evil of our private parts. ameen

 

[Al-Gharib]

“And those who invoke not any other god along with Allaah, not kill such life as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse – and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment shall be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; except those who repent and believe, and do righteous deeds, for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds, then verily, he repents towards Allaah with sincere repentance.” [al-Furqaan 25:68-71]

She has to tell her parents...

“Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: not let any but a such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers, such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3]


http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=13331&ln=eng

http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=2627&ln=eng

 

[Jannah03]

Of course repentance is first, she must regret and leave that sin, secondly she needs to wait about 1 month or so to see if shes pregnant, tender bosoms, missed period, nausea. but she could also miss a period because of the anxiety she is going through, so now this is just a waiting a game. a pregnancy test would clarify that. thirdly, she needs to also not allow herself to be in that kind of situation. having good companions is a major factor. of course sexual urges can get the best of us, but this was written for her.

 

[sumaya_graham]

assalam alaikum

Well I won't dwell on the repentence issue as it has already been well covered Alhamdulilah. I don't know where you are but in Spain (and we aren't exactly advanced here with things) but there are pregnancy tests that can tell if a woman is pregnant just 15 days after intercourse. She could either get one from a pharmacy or from her local doctors surgery.

I'm not a scholar or anything but I think that she should find out if she is pregnant first. If she isn't then there is no need to tell her parents as this could really cause problems in the family and in Islam she is not obliged to do so. If a person commits a sin he should try to conceal it not tell everyone. These things are between him and Allah. Of course in Islamic countries the law can come into things in which case things are different. I can't talk about that though as I'm not arabic and speak with knowledge.

However it is very sad for this girl. I know that for most muslim men when they marry a muslim that has been born muslim they expect them to be a virgin and if not then there can be serious problems. It's very sad too that the guy has had his fun and dumped her, I know what she has done is haram but the guy did it too, but he can just carry on with his life and nothing happens to him. But then thats a different subject.

Insha allah things will work out for her.

Fi amanillah,
Sumaya

 

[Nisar.Iqbal]

Oh Allah Guide us to your way and forgive us Verily You r most Merciful and Benefic

:astag: It is with the Allah and his Servant to settle the matters.
Indeed the sister has been entalngled in a very serious mesh.Let her make repentence before her Lord.That is the most affordable things she can do.
Now regarding the pregnancy tests she should watch and God forbid if confirmed get aborted without consultation of her parents.Friends can provide her every help if she has good ones.and Dear it is your duty to search for the ways to help her by evry means.Verily Allah is with those who help people in discomfort and need.
May Allah Give your friend courage to cope with this seriuos sin and forgive her for her naive act .Verily He is the most forgiving and merciful.

 

[AishaHadi]

Hi My names Jawad from london, Ive got a friend which im not going to name who needs alot of guidance and help...I wanna help her but my knowledge is limited and i need your advice bro's and especially sisters.

Basically my friend's a muslim who lost her virginity before marraige and the the guy ran out on her(typical). As of know she isnt sure if shes pregnant or not and she doesnt want to tell her perants even though ive strained that telling her perants is the best option but she just wont budge because she thinks her perants will kick her out the house. I need religious and practical advice for her so that is why im asking here.

What should she do practically and religiously? Im looking forward for advice!!!

:salam2:

Well apparently your friend has sinned just like many of us do lately but she should repent and she shouldn't tell her sin to anyone not even to her parents because it's going to cause more trouble.

She should wait and find out if she is pregnant [May Allah forbid]if she is then she can involve her family and try to come up with solutions and leave the judgement to Allah but if she is not she should repent sincerely and conceal her sin.

Tell her to remember Allah's words..Allah forgives all He is verily khafuru raheem as long as you do not ascribe any patners with Him...


O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it. Hadith - Qudsi 34

May Allah forgive us and keep us away from everything that leads to the hellfire..ameen

:salam2:

 

[sumaya_graham]

Assalam alaikum,

I don't think that it is good advise to say that the sister should abort without consultation of her parents. If she is pregnant does she want to add another sin to everything? Obviously it would be her descision but I don't think that it's good advise to say that at all, in fact correct me if I'm wrong but I think it is actually a sin to encourage her to do something haram.

Just my opinion,
Fi amanillah,
Sumaya

 

[Al-Gharib]

If I may say something... people... please dont post your 2 cents worth if you don't have Islamic rulings to show... please back up all your statements with evidences from Qur'aan and Sunnah...

Your personal opinions are your personal opinions and not islamic rulings. this sister should get opinions from the Mashaikh (knowledgable people)...

the knowledgable people would be far more capable of tackling the situation than us common laymen...

 

[Peace2u]

Assalam alaikum,

I don't think that it is good advise to say that the sister should abort without consultation of her parents. If she is pregnant does she want to add another sin to everything? Obviously it would be her descision but I don't think that it's good advise to say that at all, in fact correct me if I'm wrong but I think it is actually a sin to encourage her to do something haram.

Just my opinion,
Fi amanillah,
Sumaya

Wow did someone here actually say that she should abort the child if she is found to be pregnant?

I can't believe that Astagfarullah!

 

[Jawad]

Thanks for your advice bro's n sis's. Im personally quite religious and always look at the spiritual side of things first e.g. to repent. Where as my friend here hasnt shown the least bit of guilt religiously, the only guilt she has shown is materialisticly such as worrying about her perants and trying to get over the guy. How can i go about to encourageher to repent and take the religious side more seriously. Also i want to thank everyone for their advice and Quranic quotations, they really set the record straight.

Im also faced with the diallemma of having nothing to do with her because i feel shes a disgusting person who i shouldnt be around but another part says to me i have to help her and guide her to the straight path, what are your thoughts?

 

[Al-Gharib]

First of all akhi, is it really appropriate to be having a non-mahram "female friend"?

one word answer: No.

however in your case... i suggest maybe print out some info for the punishment of zinaa (both worldly & in the hereafter) and just give it to the "friend". May allah give her hidaya...

Whoever allah misguides, none can guide... and whoever allah guides, none can lead astray...

 

[zainsmommy]

Yes I agree that you should not ever consider telling someone to abort a child.
This is a very BIG sin. She already did one and now to do something as horrible as this and commit another BIG sin on top of it...this is not good.

I know there have been different opinions on abortion and in some cases, people tend to "make" it ok to suit their situation or to hide a sin among family and society ...they even go so far as to quote from different scholars that it is accepted before a certain time or date? ...This is not correct and very bad.
I just learned about all this a while ago and let me tell you...UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS ABORTION ALLOWED IN ISLAM UNLESS THE LIFE OF THE MOTHER IS IN JEAPORDY AND/OR THAT OF THE CHILD AS WELL. Please check out a reputable site or ask a very knowledgable sheik about this. We have got to stop trying to make abortion "OKAY" in some circumstances just to hide sin or to save reputation among family and society..AGAIN, It is not right!! No matter what!!! There HAS to be a legitimate reason. May Allah forgive any brother who tries to convince a girl that they should abort to save themselves from the outcome. Astagfurlallah!!!! They should never have put themself in that situation to begin with and must suffer the consequences.
Forgive me for not have the exact teachings on this quoted here, but I am sure you can easily find it. Also, forgive me for going off subject and talking about this, but I just felt the need to say since there are so many people who read this and one might see that message and think that is their answer should they be in the same situation.
As for your friend, what was meant to happen, happened and Insha'Allah she will get through this fine. It will be hard if she is pregnant but she will survive.
There is a lesson in this for all of us....and we should all make Dua for our sister in Islam.
May it keep us on the right path.

You are a very good friend to try and help her.
Allah Hafiz

 

[zainsmommy]

Thanks for your advice bro's n sis's. Im personally quite religious and always look at the spiritual side of things first e.g. to repent. Where as my friend here hasnt shown the least bit of guilt religiously, the only guilt she has shown is materialisticly such as worrying about her perants and trying to get over the guy. How can i go about to encourageher to repent and take the religious side more seriously. Also i want to thank everyone for their advice and Quranic quotations, they really set the record straight.

Im also faced with the diallemma of having nothing to do with her because i feel shes a disgusting person who i shouldnt be around but another part says to me i have to help her and guide her to the straight path, what are your thoughts?

I understand your feelings, but in my opinion, I think you are doing the right thing. You are setting aside your own feelings to try to help her. To try and show her what is right. You are doing your duty as a Muslim to help another Muslim, guide them to the right path. May Allah bless you for this...it must be very hard for you.
Insha'Allah something you say may impact her, get to her heart and she will realize that the guy leaving is not important, the fact she may or may not be pregnant is not important at this moment, but what is really important is that she repent. Insha'Alla she will realize this from hearing your words. If she does not, then there is nothing you can do. You have done your part. Allah will reward you I am sure.
Perhaps in the furture she will look back (no matter the outcome now) and remember your words to her and she will see clearly.

Allah Hafiz