I want to convert but cannot

[an-Nur]

Assalum alaikom! I'm currently living in the USA, i was born and raised into an Indian, protestant Christian family. Recently about two years ago i came to know of Islam. Before then I was only exposed to Islam through what the media and my parents taught me, which were not taught in positive light. I believe that even though I am not a Muslim by title, i am a Muslim in my heart and soul. I realize that contrary to Christianity, Islam offers peace and unity to my life. Both religions believe in the One-ness of God, but what Islam has illuminated in my life is that there is none other but Allah, there is no trinity or the concept that Jesus (PBUH) is Lord. Allah is One, Eternal and Universal and none other shall be compared to Him.

My problem, however, is that if my parents knew of my intentions to convert they would be very disappointed. I do understand that our parents are God-given but at the same time I also believe that they should not inhibit me in my spiritual relationship with God.

Apart of our customs and many others, I must marry within the Christian community, which is where my problem is---If i convert now, I cannot marry a Christian man because it is stated so that a Muslim woman may not marry outside of Islam. But if I wait until after marriage, am i betraying my calling to Islam?

any insight is highly appreciated!!

 

[Akilah]

Assalam Alaikum an-Nur,

Mashallah I am very happy that you have found the truth of Islam, and I pray that Allah gives you the strength and taqwa to face all adversities with a strong Iman. I suggest you watch some of the new convert videos and look in the new Muslims section toward the end of the forum, you will find some very inspiring videos, articles and stories there. I know that what you must be going through is difficult, because my mother is a revert and she came from a very strict Christian family where her father was a deacon in the church. In the end, Allah gave her the ability to find strength in her Iman, and realized that while respect of parents is extremely important in all cases, we cannot listen to our parents if they tell us to do something that is against Islam. My mother chose to move to another country in the end and now Alhumdulillah her family is very understanding and they don't try and impose any of their beliefs on her or the rest of us. They don't send us Christmas cards, but send new years cards instead and they try very hard to be respectful and not get into religious debates or discussions. I think that if you believe in Allah and the Prophet Muhammad PBUH you must take the shahada because death is imminent and you never know when your life may end. I urge you sister do not die in a state of kufr. I know that telling your parents that you are a Muslim will be very difficult for you at first and for them, but they must understand that you are their daughter, and more importantly, if you show them Islam and behave as a good Muslim, they Inshallah will find Islam too. In regard to marrying a Christian, this is unlawful for a Muslim woman, and more importantly you will very unlikely be able to ensure that your children will be Muslim as they will be pressured by your husband and everyone else to be Christian. This is not a wise decision to do this my sister, and while half of your religion is completed in marriage, this is not including marriage to a non-muslim. In my humble opinion if you had to chose between Islam in your heart and then marrying a Christian or Islam in your heart or actuallying telling your family you are a Muslim and never getting married (ie. to a non-Muslim), it would be better to not be married. The reason is because once you marry someone and then you revert to Islam, it is contingent upon you to divorce from this person as they are a non-believer. I know that you may not know anyone, who is a Muslim to marry right now, but if you were to convert to Islam and you felt that you were ready for marriage, there are plenty of eligible Muslim men that would love to marry someone as wonderful as you who has been blessed with the gift of Islam. If you went to an Imam, they would be more than happy to help set you up with some potential suitors.
I am really very happy for you, but saddened by your distress as I can only imagine that this must be difficult. Allah gives us many tests in life to test our Iman, and it appears as though this may be your first major test as someone who has just found Islam. I pray that you find the ability to go to profess the shahada (perhaps go to the masjid as you need two witnesses), and then eventually tell your parents when you are ready. But sister I urge you, do not marry a non-muslim, it is not wise and it is not lawful for you.


p.s. You should also check out the thread surviving christmas with a non-muslim family. Mashallah Barbara13 made a very good post there and inshallah that can help you too.

 

[Abu Sarah]

Hello..

islam is the Turth .....

Allah saied:

The religion before Allah is Islam (submission to His Will): nor did the people of the Book dissent therefrom except through envy of each other, after knowledge had come to them. But if any deny the Signs of Allah, Allah is swift in calling to account (3:19)


If anyone desires a religion other than Islam (submission to Allah), never will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good). (3:85)

.......

to know why All us muslim..see :Why islam ?

Alhamdulillah 4 blessing of islam..

.............

islam is so easy to be muslim..

If anyone has a real desire to be a Muslim and has full conviction and strong belief that Islam is the true religion ordained by Allah for all human-beings, then, one should pronounce the "Shahada", the testimony of faith, without further delay. The Holy Qur'an is explicit on this regard as Allah states:

"The Religion in the sight of Allah is Islam"
(Qur'an 3:19)



In another verse of the Holy Qur'an, Allah states:

"If anyone desires a religion other than Islam (Submission to Allah), Never will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (their selves in the hell fire)."
(Qur'an 3:85)


In addition, Islam is the only religion prevailing over all other religions. Allah states in the Holy Qur'an:

"To thee We sent the Scripture in truth, confirming the scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety:..."
(Qur'an 5:48)

Mohammad, the Prophet of Allah (Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him), said:

"The superstructure of Islam is raised on five (pillars): testifying that there is no God (none truely to be worshiped) but Allah, and that Mohammad is the messenger of Allah, performing the prayer, paying the Zakah (poor-due), fasting the month of Ramadan, and performing Hadj".

The Shahada can be declared as follows:

"ASH-HADU ANLA ELAHA ILLA-ALLAH WA ASH-HADU ANNA MOHAMMADAN RASUL-ALLAH".

The English translation is:

"I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah, and I bear witness that Mohammad is the Messenger of Allah

.......

and here also..Conditions of the acceptance of the Shahaadatayn

.........

Apart of our customs and many others, I must marry within the Christian community, which is where my problem is---If i convert now, I cannot marry a Christian man because it is stated so that a Muslim woman may not marry outside of Islam. But if I wait until after marriage, am i betraying my calling to Islam?

Those whom Allah (in His plan) willeth to guide, He openeth their breast to Islam; those whom He willeth to leave straying, He maketh their breast close and constricted, as if they had to climb up to the skies: thus doth Allah (heap) the penalty on those who refuse to believe.
(6:125)


But isn’t death possible at any time?
If your answer is yes,
do you not see that the best thing to do is to go ahead and enter Islam immediately, so that if your time should come soon, you will meet Allaah as a follower of His religion, Islam, besides which He accepts no other religion. The best of good deeds is the one that is done without delay.
do not deprive yourself of the reward which you will earn the sooner you enter Islam.

Briefly, all you need in your case is to put your trust in Allaah and strive to please Him. Go ahead and embrace His religion even if it makes other people angry. So long as you accept Him as your Lord and God, and follow His religion, He will never let you down or forsake you. We believe that you are ready to take this great step, in sha Allaah, so remember our advice in brief is “Go for it” and put your trust in Allaah.

We ask Allaah to help you and make things easy for you, to open your heart to the truth and help you to adhere to it. And Allaah is the source of strength.

........

<wasalam>

 

[basheerpkm]

assalaam



:salam2:

:mashallah:
"When God's help and victory have arrived, and you have seen people entering God's religion in droves, then glorify your Lord's praise and ask His forgiveness" (Qur'an (110) Sura: an Nasr)

Islam instructs Muslims to be extremely respectful towards their parents, regardless of their religion. Goodness towards one's parents is one of the most essential commandments of Islam.Many verses of the Qur’an stress the importance of being kind towards one’s parents.

The Glorious Qur'an says:

“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life say not to them a word of contempt nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness lower to them the wing of humility and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." (Al-Qur'an 17:23-24)

However, Allah continues in the next verse:

“But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge obey them not; Yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love)…” (Al-Qur'an 31:15)


The rights of Allah take precedence over everyone else's. Therefore it is prohibited in the Qur’an for a Muslim to make a polytheistic activities (or to visit a place where any besides Allah are worshipped) in order to please one’s parents or out of fear that not doing so would lead to strain in family or social relationships.

Allah repeats in the Qur'an:

“We have enjoined on man kindness to parents:but if they (either of them) strive (to force) you to join with Me (in worship) anything of which you have no knowledge, obey them not. You have (all) to return to Me and I will tell you (the truth) of all that you did.” (Al-Qur'an 29:8)

In the verses quoted above, the Muslims are commanded to show respect and gratitude to their parents, irrespective of whether their parents are Muslims or non-Muslims. They are also instructed to obey their parents unless they ask one to violate the commandments of Allah and His Messenger. For example a Muslim should not obey his / her non-Muslim parents when the parents want their Muslim children to worship anybody or anything besides Allah, the Creator of all.

It should however be borne in mind that a Reverted Muslim should strive to invite one’s parents to the truth which is Al-Islam. Even if one finds one’s parents reluctant and unwilling to accept Islam, one should not get frustrated as they may take some time to understand your ‘new’ religion, nor should you cut off relationships with them because the verse of the Qur'an does not ask you to ignore or neglect them but rather commands you to refrain from obeying them in matters of Shirk (polytheism, including trinity or the concept that God begot a son).

In order to avoid family problems, the revert (neo-Muslim) should be dutiful and kind towards them in other aspects of day-to-day life, which may not cause him/her to compromise with his/her religious beliefs or practices, as the verse of the Qur’an quoted earlier states, “Yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration)”. One should not be arrogant or insolent but rather be kind, considerate and courteous towards them. This display of kindness towards one’s parents not only fulfills our obligation towards our Lord and the Creator but also becomes the means through which the parents may accept Islam and achieve salvation. Indeed, such beneficent teachings are not to be found in any other religion.


'Faith is made up of sixty or so branches: the highest of which is belief in the Oneness of Allah, and the lowest on the scale of worship is removing obstacles and dirt from people's way'. Prophet Muhammed (Peace Be upon him)

 

[Ahmed ibn Ibrahim]

Wa Alaikum Salam, Sister,

It breaks my heart everytime I read a cry for help like this one. I cannot imagine all of the conflict that must be swirling in your head right now - but I can tell from what you're written that the conflict within your heart is lifting or has fully dissipated. Becoming acutely aware of our creator is a wonderful thing, especially within the context of Islam.

Unfortunetely I need to get to bed soon (I wake up at 4:45 for work each morning) so I'll have to be brief; InshaAllah He will guide other Brothers and Sisters to be helpers at your side in this situation.

My wife and I are both Protestant reverts to Islam, and like you - my wife has been through a difficult time with her parents. Thankfully neither of her parents are particularly devout in their beliefs, so their opposition was weak-hearted at best. Coming from India, I understand there will be a great amount of prejudice against Muslims from your family. There have been some evil "Muslims" just as there have been Christians (Hitler, anyone?) but you cannot judge a religion based on what a minor percentage of it's so-called followers have done.

My first instinct is to advise you to postpone marriage at this time. For goodness sakes, you'll never be fully happy with a Christian husband as a Muslim - the life-style and devotion comparrison is akin to apples and... well, potatoes maybe. If you can just take some time, the Lord will help you get things straightened out within yourself and regarding your beloved family too.

Next I'd suggest learning as much as you can about Islam. Are you really sure that this is what you believe in, that these expectations are livable for you? InshaAllah the answer is of course, but you need to be very firm within yourself if you're to respectfully approach your parents with this. Respect for mom and dad is paramount, as an adherrant Christian or as a Muslim. No doubt they'll have many misconceptions about this religion that'll need to be cleared up if they're to become comfortable with the idea that their daughter has decided to become a Muslim. After all, there're probably more commonalities between Chritianity and Islam than there are issues to divide: We all believe in the same God, 95% of the same prophets, many of the same values (essentially). InshaAllah your parents will come to accept your faith in time, especially when they come to notice all of the positive life-enhancements and have their misconceptions addressed.

My sister, I must sleep. I hope this is some help; InshaAllah others will come to give more support. =) Best wishes,

~Brother Ahmed

 

[Noor to shine]

Dear sister:
I know that you are in a difficuilt situation (this is a test from Allah to you; which is stronger in your heart ? your faith in your creator or something else?
Dear sister .........Allah created us and granted us all the bounties we are enjoyiong even our parents....and we are leaving one day (life is very short compared to the coming eternal one ) so work for Janna(Paradise) .....it is what islam leads to
with love and regards

 

[dexter]

To a sister in Trouble

:salam2:
Sister

wellcome to the religion that's easy and flexible and suitable for all.

Sister, thank you for posting your message that we may help, I shall tell you things about our easy religion that may help you in making your decisions with relief.

You can be a muslim by heart and pretend (for safety and security purposes) to be of any other religion, only that your heart should be towards the One and Only One God. What's in your heart is something that only God knows best and for that you'll be rewarded. This is according to what is taught at the holy book making the religion of Islam the easiest out of all revealed/made paths.

Missing prayers in enemies' permises is something that's allowed, if danger is sensed... and so is with all other customs...

About marriage, you can make an excuse of it, or if not then I can't really help you. If you're in the US then I believe the best thing to do is to try to obtain independance away from your family without telling them of your intentions, and one day, after a long time has lapsed, you could reveal to them that you have converted, if that's suitable and you know better than I what your situation is...

If you have more concerns please do write, we're all here for you, and the reward is that of God... But always remember, in Islam, there's NO RIGIDITY, and there's FLEXIBILITY IN ALL CONCEPTS... which makes our religion the most harmonious mankind has ever seen...

God bless...

 

[Akilah]

It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet
said:

“Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allaah will make him feel independent ofothers and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place.

But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allaah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2389; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6510).

 

[arifngh]

go go go to Islam

:salam2:

Alhamdulillah, thanks to God that you really found the truth of Islam, the only truth. We pray for you, Allah shows the way to solve your problems.

Let Islam come to your heart, ask your mind, are there any truth beside Islam ?

Let your life become peace and prosperous forever by going to profess the shahada.

Search about the living of prophet Abraham Alaihis Salam , He found the truth that his parent's belief was wrong. and He followed his parent's order to sell the god statue, but he just believed in one God, Allah SWT.

We must devote to our parents, but this is your life, you have right to choose your own faith.

go go go to Islam,
just turn to Islam,
there is no turn like turn to Islam



arif

 

[Bawar]

Don't Delay

Salamu alaikum sister!
I have read all the replies brothers and sisters have posted to you. I wish I could say better than that. After discovering the truth, you must know what is most important in life and you should be able to set your priorities right.

Everything in this world that we enjoy are given to us by allah, the creator of all. We dont know when he will take them back, but until we have them, we should make best use of it. Time is one of those things. If you delay your confession of the truth ( Shahadah ) by one day, you are depriving yourself from the friendship of allah for one day. I dont think it is wise to do so. Nothing in the world is more precious than the friendship of allah.
If you have been crawling towards him, I persuade you to stand up and start walking towards him. If you are walking towards him, my advice is to run to him. Thats where you will find peace and success.
May allah bless you
Wassalam

 

[zarah]

Assalamu Alaikum

:salam2:

:ma: brothers and sisters,alot of good advice given.

Allah(Swt) knows best.

 

[ibn azem]

Hello,

My advice is not to delay your declaration of Shahadah any longer if you have come to the conclusion that Islam is what you want to live according to.
And about the marriage thing, don't even wait for that time to come, because it will be more difficult for you to explain to your family at first, and let alone waiting until then.

And I ask Allah (swt) to make it easy and guide you to Islam and give you the best in this and the next life, as a Muslimah insha'Allah.

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

Extremely well put together by members of the forum…

Tricky situation in deed, but Allah (SWT) declares in the Qur’aan:

"Whoever has taqwa (Fear of Allah), He Allah prepares a way out for him. And He provides for him from sources he would never expect. (surat At-Talaq (verse 2 & 3)