i'm change for bad

[kingmuslim]

PLEASE FORGIVE ME MY POOR ENGLISH BECOZ I'M SPEAKING IN FRENCH AND I'M LEARNING TO SPEAK IN ENGLISH.

salam, how r u brothers and sisters?

hope u all great, insha-Allah.

before i get married, i was very good muslim, respects anyone,alway be happy and patent even i have too much bad luck but after married, i gone bad because i have enough too much bad luck, even in married, my wife lives in Yemen at the moment, the problem is: i cannot speak in Yemeni becoz my mum is canadan and my dad is yemeni. i gone change for bad, not respect my parents, speaking more girls at work, wants to make love with other girls rather than my wife (not yet....never inshaAllah!) always angry and upset every day. my mum hates me , she told me before married, i was normal and calm person. i want to be old same person again but i tired to change but i failed it many time. i do not love my wife becoz she is alway talking negiva and she will come to canada soon if her visa is accept, i lied to my wife that i love her so much and she really very happy. i want to love her and i want to respect my special mum and i want to be myself like before married.

how can i change myself?

i still do pray 5 times, even read the quran every day.

will u help me?

thank u.

 

[bi'idhnillah]

:salam2:

bismillah

i realy felt 4 u, u sound realy frustrated and emotional....look why dont u take things slowly... start with how u treat ua mum n try to change that.. u know step by step n things will eventually get beta if u stick with them, but most importantly make a lot of dua to Allah to make things easy 4u.

 

[huda2]

:salam2:


Sorry to heard that bro, but insha allah, ask allah forgiveness and pray and make alot of duaa insha allah. Start respecting yr mom she has righ on u and her ask her forgiveness, talk to yr wife and be nice to her, and stay stay away from those girls.......Involving them can put u a major sin. Go to the masjid read quraan, and be with those who have a good taqwah. Insha allah pray nd make duaa. One step at the time can make a big different. Insha allah I will make duaa fr u.:tti_sister: :tti_sister: :tti_sister:

 

[kingmuslim]

i need ur advice more please...its not enough advice...thansk

 

[Bawar]

Salam brother!

You mentioned a few things that has affected your behaviour.
Mainly, it is after you got married.

1-Your wife can not understand your language and you can't understand her language.

2-Your wife is talking negative all the time.
3-You don't love your wife, but you tell her you love her to make her happy.

All the above things make you angry and depressed. You feel that you have lost. You want to search for happiness, but you look for that happiness in the wrong place and in the wrong way.

Mayby this is an arranged marriage by your father and mother. You and your wife are from two different cultures and have different way of thinking.

What i advice you to do is not to jump to conclcusion before you meet her and spend some time with her. You should be happy and thankful that you have a woman in your life who will inshallah, give you company in your good and bad times.

She will be the closest person to you and once you start living together, you will hopefully develope love and care for eachother.

You should not be angry at your parents for what has happened. Maybe it will be a very successful marriage. Once you two know eachother's way of thinking, you will learn to understand eachother more.

It is not certain that if you had married another lady whom you would find yourself, would be a successful marriage.
Give this marriage a chnace and wait till you know echother better and live with one another.

I don't see much problem there except that you are worried and nervous about problems that may not exist at all.

May Allah swt make your life happy. Remember, this is a cause for happiness and you should not spoil it.

Keep writing to us about your problems and we will try to help, inshallah.

Wasslam

 

[Wiseguy74]

Assalam O Alaikum,

Continue to pray salat and read Quran. Pray extra nafils of repentance and hajaat and also study the character of our beloved Prophet(pbuh) and try to practice it in your daily life. Insha Allah things will change.

Verily in the messenger of Allah you have a good example for him who looketh unto Allah and the last Day, and remembereth Allah much.
Holy Qur'an 33 : 21


Be truthful; don’t be dishonest.

Be humble; don’t be arrogant.

Be moderate; don’t be excessive.

Be clean; don’t be corrupt.

Be reserved; don’t be garrulous.

Don’t be boastful; be soft-spoken.

Don’t be unmindful of others; be loving and solicitous to them.

Don’t be harsh; be considerate and compassionate.

Don’t be insulting and disrespectful to people; be polite and helpful.

Don’t be selfish and miserly; be generous and charitable.

Don’t swear, don’t curse; be refined and gentle in speech.

Don’t be bitter and resentful; be cheerful and magnanimous.

Don’t be greedy; be content, be grateful for what one has.

Don’t be irritable and morose; be cheerful and pleasant.

Don’t be lustful; be chaste and pure.

Don’t be absent-minded; be alert.

Don’t be graceless; be dignified and decent.

Don’t be hypocritical; be sincere and straightforward.

Don’t be cynical or pessimistic; be optimistic and hopeful.

Don’t be doubtful and wavering; be confident and deep in faith.

Don’t be materialistic; be spiritually oriented.

Don’t lose heart or be desperate; always have faith in Allah’s mercy.

Don’t be negligent to your duties; be diligent and vigilant.

Don’t be forgetful of the innumerable blessings of God; be thankful to Him and constantly pray to Him.

THIS INDEED WAS THE CHARACTER OF OUR BELOVED PROPHET(PBUH)

Wassalam

 

[kingmuslim]

pls more advice.....i am worried about myself cos i want to be bad man now, i feel i want to go out and get a girl ***.....help me.....i want to respect my mum very much. I still not love my wife....i feel i want to make her unlucky and jealous.

 

[Mrmuslim]

salaam alikom

First of all you keep saying I need more advise ...... What the point of the advise if you not welling to listen ? If you planning to take an advise and follow it then yes people will advise you, it dosnt matter how many times people will advise you here...

.... If Quran and Sallah cant advise you what you need more?

I know I am hard on you but people been advising you with good advises, but I dont know if you even paying attention to them.... dont measure it by how many times people will advise you.

You want to go out and a get a girl and enjoy for few times?

What after that?? You achived something ? Yes you followd your Shaytan... and you know what he punishment of some one married and do that ?

Think you might die while you doing it!! and then on day of judgment you will be called while you committing Zina and Mistakes in front of Allah..s.w.t if you want to meet Allah on day of judgment while you are in this position go head ...

if you dont F E A R ALLAH go head ...

If you dont have a respect for the prophet peace be up on him who spend his life to call for Islam so you and me and people be saved from HELL FIRE , he was beaten , spit on but he never reacted against people .. AFTER all he peace be up on him went through ...so you be Muslim.... and after this you want to go and commit Zina.....and for what .. just because you dont feel good ??

... then go Head BUT dont call your self a Muslim... because the prophet peace be up on him wont look at you on day of judgment...

Brother get yourself together whats wrong with you, you facing little trouble in life and you want to commit mistakes.. what if there was a worse problem, people dying and facing horrible things, and you are falling a part from first problem you facing in your new life ?

Your mother want you to come back as a good Muslim, find good friendship in mosque, sit with shyokh , recite Quran and understand its meaning ...you never know when you can die....!

Remeber the Death and what will happen to you in the grave...

try to work with your wife, you are lucky to have a wife inshaAllah she will be good, but dont expect her to change you dont !!

Talk to her that you want to have an islamic family with her and believe me its Shaytan who is trying to put things in your mind and tell you ... oh Your wife is this and your wife is that ...inshaAllah she will be a good wife but look at the good things she have dont try to just pick on her shortcoming ...

How do you that you are soo good for her ? May be she see a lot of mistakes in you but she just ignore them....Thank Allah on what you have and stop Complaining.


Suggetion... and more ADVISE ( IF YOU REALLY WANT TO CHANGE YOUR SELF)

Take some days ( weeks will be better) off from work, insha Allah you can, and go and joine your wife in Yemen, IF SHE DONT know your language you learn ARABIC THERE WITH her , Yes GO THERE and stay with her and meet other Good Muslim scholars there and if you can take your wife and go to Hajj Yes GO TO HAJJ with her HOLD her hand in HAJJ while making Tawaaf of Kabbah, while performing Hajj and see how much happiness insha Allah you will feel be'izen Allah. there is still time you can PLAN FOR HAJJ from Yemen i

dont delay if YOU REALLLY WANT TO CHANGE put these advises in ACTION.... but if you just want people feel sorry for you then just keep reading and ignore the advises..... You will Answer Allah s.w.t not us.... we have our own shortcoming and mistakes...

May Allah make it easy on you and forgive me if I am hard on you, its because I care... and remember (in the meaning of hadith) who ever leave something in Haram for sake of Allah, Allah will give to him in Halaal, remeber if you cant see Allah then Allah can see you...

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[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

PLEASE FORGIVE ME MY POOR ENGLISH BECOZ I'M SPEAKING IN FRENCH AND I'M LEARNING TO SPEAK IN ENGLISH.

salam, how r u brothers and sisters?

hope u all great, insha-Allah.

before i get married, i was very good muslim, respects anyone,alway be happy and patent even i have too much bad luck but after married, i gone bad because i have enough too much bad luck, even in married, my wife lives in Yemen at the moment, the problem is: i cannot speak in Yemeni becoz my mum is canadan and my dad is yemeni. i gone change for bad, not respect my parents, speaking more girls at work, wants to make love with other girls rather than my wife (not yet....never inshaAllah!) always angry and upset every day. my mum hates me , she told me before married, i was normal and calm person. i want to be old same person again but i tired to change but i failed it many time. i do not love my wife becoz she is alway talking negiva and she will come to canada soon if her visa is accept, i lied to my wife that i love her so much and she really very happy. i want to love her and i want to respect my special mum and i want to be myself like before married.

how can i change myself?

i still do pray 5 times, even read the quran every day.

will u help me?

thank u.

Well, brother you are one of those people i call luck people because you know that you change to worest, know your mistake so keep on trying to correct then until your last breathe Allah will forgive you inshallah. Have you ever consider telling your wife the truth? OR have you ask yourself before you get marry if you were ready? It sound to me like You didn't know what you were getting into. Brother, telling the truth to your wife will inshallah set you free before she comes to Canada that it is easy for both of easy. Remember when you lie you will always need another lie to cover the first to sec..et.. Pray to Allah, inshallah think will be easy for you!