As-Salamo Alaikome.....
Im just learning myself and I happened to come across this just yesterday so I hope it can help you........
Medicine for Anger
The first preventive medicine is to avoid being too sensitive to provocation and become "deaf, dumb and mute." It may be necessary for some people to engage in something else to divert themselves. For saints, it may be advisable to engage in remembrance of God or meditation, but for common folk, they need some worldly tools. A couple went to Prophet Mohammed and said, We have been fighting each other for many years. Each time she says something to hurt my feelings, I become angry, and then I fight back and this fight comes to such a degree that I am afraid that this verbal fight may,become physical, or we may end up divorced. So please advise how we can control our anger. He told the husband that when your wife provokes you and makes you angry, take a sip of your water in your mouth and do not swallow it or spit it out, but keep it there until she has calmed down. Well, he practiced that and a few months later, he reported back that it did work.
Since we believe that anger is an expression of satanic control, we must not let this control take over. The Prophet had advised us to say, "During anger, I seek refuge from lead to problemrotection of God." He also advised us that when angry, one should sit down or lie down as it is not easy to hit someone else in those positions. Obviously, the best remedy is to think about God and "ask yourself a question, "are you in control of yourself, or would you allow God to take control of you?" Think of God's anger and punishment. Is God's wrath less than your wrath? And what happens when He expresses His wrath? We humans who seek forgiveness from God must forgive others first. When one forgive someone else, it establishes peace and tranquility in one's heart, but at the same time, the matter of injustice or wrong actions which made one angry, become a dispute between him and God; and if one do not take revenge and forgive, God might act on ones behalf.
The first attribute of God/Allah that we Muslims are reminded (of) is Ar Rahman-Ar Rahim that is, Kind and Merciful. God Himself said, my mercy overtakes my wrath, and He told in one of the hadith qudsi , 'O son of Adam, when you get angry, remember Me." Thus, remembrance of God and meditation will keep us on the right track. One of the meditation words is ya Halim, which is one of the attributes of God, being the Mild One. One can also pray to God to take control of the situation and the person or the people who have caused His anger. We must also think that tone life so dear to us, is a temporary life, and we must not forget our death and destroy the life of eternity at the cost of this life. Washing one's face with cold water or taking a cold shower is also helpful.
Thus it is important for one to redirect the energy in engaging in something else. However, the height of sainthood is to do the opposite of the provoking person expects one to do. If he expects you to rebuke him or verbally abuse him back, then one should tell him, I love you, and mention his good qualities. If he expects one to physically attack him, then one embraces him and forgives him.
That is how the saying, "turn the other cheek" came about. One will become a calm person when he makes peace with himself, his Creator and his surroundings. Anger is a costly weed; it costs one his health, life in this world, and the life in the Hereafter. This weed must be rooted out to allow the healthy plant of righteousness, piety and service to God and His creation nurture and grow.
May Allah guide us and keep us on the straight path
