Is this right

M

Mixedup

Junior Member
Hi all

Sorry to ask this question but I need something clarified

Can a man and women marry at home without witnesses?
My partner said his (Vows) last night to me and I said it back. Dont know what its called but translated all I really said was I ACCEPT.(poor at arabic).
He tells me his friends etc have said this is sufficient and we are now married.

The reason I am asking is because I reverted a week ago and obviously because we were not married I had to impose a few rules as I am taking my reversion seriously.
I dont want you to think I am saying anything bad about my partner/husband as I am not but I feel I need to know this marriage is real as he may have other motives for telling me this is ok and I do not want to sin.

Your thoughts please
Thank you
Jo
 
C

cmelbouzaidi

Junior Member
:salam2: I could be wrong here, as I am a revert too, but I think a marriage in Islam does require witnesses to protect both partners' rights and avoid any misunderstandings. It is a celebration, not a secret :) :wasalam:
 
K

k.tanzeela

New Member
islamic marriage

Asalam sis
first i would like to know whether the person whom u married is really a muslim or not? because sis i'm not an expert in religion but still i know and i think every adult muslim(men or women alike) know that marriage without witnesses is not valid among muslims, and in your case i think u have none. your ignorance or innocence about this affair of islam is understood, but what about this man. be cautious, talk to some muslim ulammah(scholar), insha-Allah they wil guide u, till then take care of yourself and restrict yourself, till you two are declared married as per Sharia.
Allah bless u
 
D.Ahmed

D.Ahmed

Believer
Salaam Sister i read what you wrote and found this for you to read...

The actual marriage ceremony is quite simple. A day is chosen (preferably as soon as possible after the engagement) and announced. The prophet (upon him be peace) encouraged that marriages should be announced well, so that the community learns of this communion and do not look at the couple with suspicion when seen together. Therefore, a marriage should not be contracted in secret.

Thereafter, the following should be observed for the actual ceremony:

1. The best time is a Friday after the 'Asr prayer in the masjid. The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) said, "Announce this marriage, and perform it in the masjid… (Tirmidhi).

2. Scholars and other pious people should be invited to gain the blessing of their presence and their du'as along with the blessing of Friday and the masjid.

3. The nikah should be performed by a pious person.

4. Two witnesses should be chosen and present at the gathering. The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) said, "There is no marriage without a wali and two upright witnesses… (Ibn Hibban). Although all those present could potentially be witnesses, it is better to have two formal witnesses who sign the marriage contract and can be called upon in the event of any problems.

5. The marriage payment [dowry or mahr] should be stipulated beforehand and the person performing the ceremony should be informed of the amount.

6. The bride should preferably send a wali (her father, uncle, brother or any such elder) to represent her. Thewali should be present in the gathering. The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) said, "A women should not marry herself off [i.e. without a wali] (Ibn maja). In the Hanafi school, the consent of a mature bride is necessary and she cannot be married off without it. The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) said, "A virgin cannot be married off without her permission." They asked as to how her permission is given. He replied, "Her silence" (Bukhari and Muslim).

7. When the bride grants her wali [representative] the permission to marry her to the groom, it is preferable to have two people (from among her mahrams) to witness this also. Although, the representation is valid without witnesses, however, in the event of problems their testimony would be needed to prove that she consented to her marriage to the groom.

8. The sunna khutba [sermon] will be recited first by the imam performing the marriage. This khutbaincludes the three verses of taqwa, and a hadith or two about marriage, exhorting the couple and those present to fear Allah and attain taqwa (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Nasai, Ahmad).

Hope this helps and best of luck!
 
ShyHijabi

ShyHijabi

Junior Member
Marriage contract without witnesses must be repeated
Is a person married to another if they both say "We accept each other as man and wife, having Allah as our witness," with no other witnesses present, and later having a celebration, telling everyone that they are married?


Praise be to Allah.

The Prophet (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) said: "There is no marriage without a wali (guardian) and two witnesses." (It is a saheeh hadith because of corroborating reports: Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, no. 1858).

Imam al-Tirmidhi, may Allah have mercy on him, said: "The correct opinion is that narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas, who said that there is no marriage without clear evidence… Acting in accordance with that, the scholars among the Companions of the Prophet (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) and the Taabi‘een and others who followed them said that there is no marriage without witnesses. (Jaami‘ al-Tirmidhi, 4/235).

If the couple referred to in the question did not follow the above, they must repeat the marriage, this time with a guardian and two witnesses.

And Allah knows best.




Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Click to expand...

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/661

Salaam,

It would appear the marriage is not valid and you will have to repeat the vows in front of two witnesses and you must have a wali.

Wasalaam

~Sarah
 
amirah80

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

The information presented is sufficient enough to answer the question that the marriage is invalid because it does not apply with Islamic shariah. In addition to this information already provided can someone inshallah add the information for the condition of a wali and being that she may not have one being a revert provide the information of whom could fill the wali position for her. Example imam, etc... Jazak Allah Khair in advance for whomever can include this information in the thread because I am positive this my be the next question.

Wasalam Amirah
 
M

Mixedup

Junior Member
Thankyou for this help it is really appreciated.
I know my partner means well and in his eyes we are married after 13 years together but I did not feel in my heart this marriage was correct.
I think he is finding it strangely out of character for me to be so adamant around things, but I waited 13 years to commit to Islam and do not intend to mess it up. I have been given a clean sheet by ALLAH(swt) and for me it is more important to try and keep it clean than pretend through innocence that its all ok which is why your guidance is needed.
My partner is a good muslim but he is also a man !
I will continue to stick to my restrictions until married
Thank you again

PS: My father would be my Wali he's absolutely fine with everything.
 
O

Optimist

قل هو الله أحد
There is no valid marriage without witnesses. The only (deviated) sect that practice such a thing are the shia who have something called "muta'a" marriage which is similar to what you described.

Did your partnet specify a length for the marriage (another invalid condition) ?

If a marriage has no dowry, witnesses or wali (guardian) then what is the differenc between it and consensual sex predominant in the west ?

Note: these conditions are primarily designed to protect the woman. Take all your rights sister.
 
M

Mixedup

Junior Member
OK I need to look at this again. My father after reading the link can not be my wali as he is not a Muslim. I will have to ask the Iman if he will be my Wali.
Thankyou so much again
 
E

epilogue

Sister in Islam
Mixedup said:
OK I need to look at this again. My father after reading the link can not be my wali as he is not a Muslim. I will have to ask the Iman if he will be my Wali.
Thankyou so much again
Click to expand...

My father (non-Muslim) was my Wali, but we had to call several mosques to find an imam who would do it that way. I was absolutely adamant about it, and masha'Allah we found an imam who was of the same thinking.

Congratulations on your reversion, sister, and your marriage! Alhamdulillah for the blessings you have received.
 
Munawar

Munawar

Striving for Paradise
Mixedup said:
Hi all

Sorry to ask this question but I need something clarified

Can a man and women marry at home without witnesses?
Jo
Click to expand...
:salam2:
Sister Jo,

The only situation in which a man and a woman can marry without witnesses is e.g. if they were on a ship/boat and something happened and these two were the only people who survived and landed on an island. And since they are the only people who are living on that island then they could make these wows and become husband and wife. But in a society where there are a lot of people they cannot marry alone or in secret. There are standards and I think people here have presented enough evidance that this secret marriage is not valid. :astag:

So you need 2 witnesses and a Wali (which you said will be your father InshaAllah) and you also need to finalize the dowery amount which he should pay you either in full at the time of marriage or if you allow he can pay in installments too.
Read this about the dowery (Mahar): http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=274450&postcount=45

I will continue to stick to my restrictions until married.
Click to expand...
MashaAllah sister! Your restrictions are good for you and good for him too. :ma:

My partner is a good muslim but he is also a man !
Click to expand...
LOL... :lol:
:wasalam:
 
S

Salem9022

Junior Member
masha'Allah the answers here are great, :ma: the marriage is not valid, because you need atleast 2 witnesses also your husband has to Pay you a dowry the dowry or the mahr can be anything big or small in payment that your Husband can give you for you to keep.
 
shichemlydia

shichemlydia

Junior Member
answer......

salam alikoum,
in islam marriages must be conducted in the presence of witnesses, and no marriage is accepted without this, in addition the reponsible for the lady (wali) must be present, he could be her father, her uncle.....etc.
and a marraige which does not fulfill these terms will be considered failed and not legal regarding the islamic shria (law).
so try to make it according to what allah said, because marriage in islam is someting great and allah swt called in the quran (mithak ghalide) which means a great contract. and prophet mohamed pbuoh called it half of the deen. so do not play with the terms,
wa salam alikoum
 
ShyHijabi

ShyHijabi

Junior Member
Salaam,

Sister, all of the fatwas I've read so far state the wali must be a Muslim. However if Sister Epilogue was able to get her wali to be her father and an imam to agree maybe there is an interpretation of the rules that I am not aware of.

I researched this heavily as I am a convert as well and no one in my family is Muslim. I would contact a local mosque and ask to speak with the Imam about this.

Wasalaam

~Sarah
 
M

Mixedup

Junior Member
Salaam Sarah

Yes after reading the info provided it states my Wali has to be Muslim so I will stick to that and ask the Iman to be my Wali.
Thank you
Jo
 
A

Abdullah2008

New Member
BE VERY CAUTIOUS SISTER

I have read so many nightmare stories that started like yours PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be careful....Make sure you really know this guy, specially since your taking your reversion seriously whereas he might not be....Allah knows best but I feel obligated to warn while taking the blame of being suspicious of him.

Sister, know your rights and know your Islam before you embark on a journey that should not be taken lightly. Also please read the following link

May Allah guide you further, but as the other people have said you do need witnesses and there is a procedure to it.

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...r_Counselor/CyberCounselingE/CyberCounselingE

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...819932&pagename=Zone-English-Family/FYELayout

:salam2:
 
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