slave_of_Allah
Junior Member
ISLAM ON RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE MARRIAGE
Love before marriage is just a nice word to hide or camouflage your misdeed and sin. In today’s society we are continually surrounded by friends/relatives who are in a relationship before marriage. The prevailing social ideologies subconsciously put us in a specific frame of mind with the images that influence us in our daily lives, such as TV. Many Muslims fall into this trap, which is led by Satan and his followers. What was known before to be totally forbidden is now becoming “halaal” with a so-called ‘pure intention’ that the ‘relationship progresses to marriage’. Muslims are adopting the easy and haraam way of living, just like the non-Muslims. We have become so indulged in this life, that we begin to confuse right from wrong. We cross the borders of Islam and don’t give mountain of sins a second thought. We forget death! We forget that this is only the dunya, and it will end, we will die and be held accountable for every little thing we did! We forget who we are! And last of all we forget our lord Allah (SWT) and His Beloved Rasool (SAW).
It is true that living in the 21st century makes it a whole lot harder to do the right thing. With all the new technology, we have easier access to fitna (doing wrong) through technology such as mobile phones, Internet, which are the two main ones! But we need to stop and think that we alone will be judged on what we did when we were alive. We will be punished on the day of judgement because we were weak and we couldn’t control our desires. Islam is all about patience, we have to have self-control. Islam was never meant to be easy it is hard. Those who think that life is easy they are the ones who are not following Islam because the Prophet (SAW) said that near the end of time it will be so hard for people to hold onto Islam, it will be like trying to hold onto hot, burning coal.
It is true that it is hard in this day and age to stay away from such haraam things. Shaitan tries to target everyone especially those who are already on the right path because he wants them to forget Allah and follow him. In a Hadith it states: ‘No man sits alone with a women, but the shaitan is the third person amongst them’ (Tirmidhi - 1171) if we explore this Hadith of the Prophet (SAW)
What is permitted in regards to looking, interacting and speaking with the opposite sex?
In society there is a great deal confusion surrounding this topic. Many people are heedless to the effects and consequences of their actions. Rather they adopt a very western and secular position as to what is allowed and disallowed in Islam. Many Muslims have adopted the western values and attitudes in life for example by saying, its ok to be just friends with a guy/girls…its kool, nothing else is going to happen, he’s like my brother!! What a joke! Loll.
The Prophet (SAW) said ‘Never should a man/women be alone with a women/man except in the presence of a mahram (a non-marriageable man). Islam is a pure way of life and it has a reason for everything. The reason for this is because if a man and women are alone together there is always the chance of something more happening. Because shaitan is always the third person.
TIPS:
Tips to help us all Insha’Allah, please consider them and put them into action. They will save us on the day when we shall all have to come forward in the court of Allah to repay for all our sins.
1. Be disaffected – Being disaffect means putting up a mental wall between you and the opposite gender. They don’t know your thoughts and you don’t care for theirs. You can interact when NEEDED within the boundaries of Islam but always maintain a formal distance.
2. No flirting - flirting means that you are saying or doing things on purpose that make the other person attracted to you. Therese no set criterion for what flirting I, but anyone knows what it is and how to do it. Muslim women are supposed to behave better than the average women, who have to be beautiful for the men around her all the time. These women who think they are free are actually trapped behind their looks and only judge themselves to be worthy if half the men they know are in love with them. Muslim men and women are meant to lower their gaze.
“Tell the believing men and women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)”(al-noor 24:30)
A person only wants to marry one person who they will spend the rest of their life with and the chances are that person isn’t going to be some dork you fluttered your eyelashes at in high school.
3. No talking on the phone - In Islam it is forbidden for non related guys and girls to be alone together because there is a chance for physical zina, vocal zina, and zina of the eyes – that means with no one there to watch, you might be tempted to do or say something gross.
4. No touching! - Muslims are forbidden to touch any non-mahram. That means no patting on the back, no hand shaking, no holding hands and obviously no kissing and all of that!
5. No girl friend/boy friends! – As Muslims we know that we will be held responsible for our own actions on the Day of Judgment. Just like we would never do anything like this in front of our parents, uncles, or relatives we must always remember that Allah watches our every move and Allah is the one who will judge us. Islam has a solution to this problem, which is marriage.
6. No girls/ boys as friends - the easiest way to ensure that you don’t end up falling in love with someone before marriage is to avoid making friends with the opposite gender. When you have to talk to the opposite gender its best to maintain a distance, that means that you don’t confide in them, you don’t let down your guard, you don’t unnecessarily engage them in needless conversation, don’t joke around and never flirt…
So many great brothers and sisters have put themselves in these sticky situations because they allowed a guy/girl to get to know them and either ended up liking the guy/girl or having the guy/girl like them. Once this happens you become a pair, which is HARAAM and shaitan lives happily ever after!!! What we have forgotten is the one thing, which is so obvious, which is that we are always being watched. Would we act like this if the Prophet (SAW) were in front of us? No, because we’d feel like ungrateful idiots for disregarding the Religion which he took so much pain for just to deliver it to us.
The reality is that Allah and the Prophet (SAW) do see us we just don’t see them! How pathetic is it to take the eyes that Allah gave us and misuse them, how much more stupider is it that we even know that He is watching us do it, yet we continue to do so. One major FACT is that we have no secrets in the court of Allah. Because everything we ever did will become public knowledge on the Day of Judgment and each one of us shall be bought to trial. We should always think that we mustn’t do anything, which we don’t want our parents, friends and the whole world to know about.
Remember the friendship of Allah and His messenger is sufficient…death is hunting us…our sins trailing behind us and judgment in front of us…! It is never too late to turn around and start afresh, Allah is the most forgiving and the ever merciful… if we repent with sincere and true hearts then Allah will forgive us Insha’Allah.
FRIENDS
The beloved prophet Muhammad Sallallahu 'alayhi wa salim said, 'a person moulds his life (his deen) according to his friends, so you should be careful about who you make your friend.' (Ahmad)
The Holy Prophet Sallallahu 'alayhi wa salim was once asked what person can be the best friend, Aqa Sallallahu 'alayhi wa salim replied, 'he who helps you remember Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, and he who reminds you when you forget Him.' Then Aqa Sallallahu 'alayhi wa salim was asked 'and which friend is the worst?'
The reply was: 'he who does not help you when you remember Allah Subhaanhu wa Ta'ala and does not remind you of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala when you forget.' The questioner further asked: 'who is the best among people'
Aqa Sallallahu 'alayhi wa salim replied: 'he who when you look at him, you remember Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'ala.
It is therefore very important to choose our friends carefully and influence our friends in a good way..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRJQgM66Hag&feature=relate
The above link is a clip of Shaykh-ul-Islam Dr Muhammad Tahir-ul-Qadri delivering a lecture at the Al-hidayah camp 2006 which took place in Oxfordshire in London..
Shaykh-ul-Islam is reminding us that the best time to change our lives is in our youth! He is reminding us that the only love that is meant to be important in our lives is the Love of Allah (swt) and the love of the beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw)
Shaykh-ul-Islam says
'If you change your lives now you will fly towards the heavens' Shaykh-ul-Islam also points out that when you grow old it will become very difficult to change..
He also adds 'If you become sincere to Allah (swt) and His worship, If you become loyal to Holy Prophet (saw) you would be given food by the heavenly hands' Subhanallah..
Qibla Huzoor is crying for us! telling us to change our ways and become better! and what do we do?? are we changing? or are we just following the loves of the world? are we thinking of the love beyond this world? or are we just following our desires in this world??
When the Prophet Muhammad (saw) comes in our graves willl we recognise the Beloved Prophet (saw) or will we be speechless??? THINK ABOUT IT
It just makes you think we are so lucky to have great friends of Allah like Shaykh-ul-Islam with us today to remind us to follow the way of Allah and His Rasool (saw)..the only thing that will save us in our graves is the love of the Prophet Muhammad (saw).. and if we dont have that love were will we end up??....
Ya Allah guide us towards your love and the love of your Beloved Prophet (Saw)..Ameen..
Love before marriage is just a nice word to hide or camouflage your misdeed and sin. In today’s society we are continually surrounded by friends/relatives who are in a relationship before marriage. The prevailing social ideologies subconsciously put us in a specific frame of mind with the images that influence us in our daily lives, such as TV. Many Muslims fall into this trap, which is led by Satan and his followers. What was known before to be totally forbidden is now becoming “halaal” with a so-called ‘pure intention’ that the ‘relationship progresses to marriage’. Muslims are adopting the easy and haraam way of living, just like the non-Muslims. We have become so indulged in this life, that we begin to confuse right from wrong. We cross the borders of Islam and don’t give mountain of sins a second thought. We forget death! We forget that this is only the dunya, and it will end, we will die and be held accountable for every little thing we did! We forget who we are! And last of all we forget our lord Allah (SWT) and His Beloved Rasool (SAW).
It is true that living in the 21st century makes it a whole lot harder to do the right thing. With all the new technology, we have easier access to fitna (doing wrong) through technology such as mobile phones, Internet, which are the two main ones! But we need to stop and think that we alone will be judged on what we did when we were alive. We will be punished on the day of judgement because we were weak and we couldn’t control our desires. Islam is all about patience, we have to have self-control. Islam was never meant to be easy it is hard. Those who think that life is easy they are the ones who are not following Islam because the Prophet (SAW) said that near the end of time it will be so hard for people to hold onto Islam, it will be like trying to hold onto hot, burning coal.
It is true that it is hard in this day and age to stay away from such haraam things. Shaitan tries to target everyone especially those who are already on the right path because he wants them to forget Allah and follow him. In a Hadith it states: ‘No man sits alone with a women, but the shaitan is the third person amongst them’ (Tirmidhi - 1171) if we explore this Hadith of the Prophet (SAW)
What is permitted in regards to looking, interacting and speaking with the opposite sex?
In society there is a great deal confusion surrounding this topic. Many people are heedless to the effects and consequences of their actions. Rather they adopt a very western and secular position as to what is allowed and disallowed in Islam. Many Muslims have adopted the western values and attitudes in life for example by saying, its ok to be just friends with a guy/girls…its kool, nothing else is going to happen, he’s like my brother!! What a joke! Loll.
The Prophet (SAW) said ‘Never should a man/women be alone with a women/man except in the presence of a mahram (a non-marriageable man). Islam is a pure way of life and it has a reason for everything. The reason for this is because if a man and women are alone together there is always the chance of something more happening. Because shaitan is always the third person.
TIPS:
Tips to help us all Insha’Allah, please consider them and put them into action. They will save us on the day when we shall all have to come forward in the court of Allah to repay for all our sins.
1. Be disaffected – Being disaffect means putting up a mental wall between you and the opposite gender. They don’t know your thoughts and you don’t care for theirs. You can interact when NEEDED within the boundaries of Islam but always maintain a formal distance.
2. No flirting - flirting means that you are saying or doing things on purpose that make the other person attracted to you. Therese no set criterion for what flirting I, but anyone knows what it is and how to do it. Muslim women are supposed to behave better than the average women, who have to be beautiful for the men around her all the time. These women who think they are free are actually trapped behind their looks and only judge themselves to be worthy if half the men they know are in love with them. Muslim men and women are meant to lower their gaze.
“Tell the believing men and women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)”(al-noor 24:30)
A person only wants to marry one person who they will spend the rest of their life with and the chances are that person isn’t going to be some dork you fluttered your eyelashes at in high school.
3. No talking on the phone - In Islam it is forbidden for non related guys and girls to be alone together because there is a chance for physical zina, vocal zina, and zina of the eyes – that means with no one there to watch, you might be tempted to do or say something gross.
4. No touching! - Muslims are forbidden to touch any non-mahram. That means no patting on the back, no hand shaking, no holding hands and obviously no kissing and all of that!
5. No girl friend/boy friends! – As Muslims we know that we will be held responsible for our own actions on the Day of Judgment. Just like we would never do anything like this in front of our parents, uncles, or relatives we must always remember that Allah watches our every move and Allah is the one who will judge us. Islam has a solution to this problem, which is marriage.
6. No girls/ boys as friends - the easiest way to ensure that you don’t end up falling in love with someone before marriage is to avoid making friends with the opposite gender. When you have to talk to the opposite gender its best to maintain a distance, that means that you don’t confide in them, you don’t let down your guard, you don’t unnecessarily engage them in needless conversation, don’t joke around and never flirt…
So many great brothers and sisters have put themselves in these sticky situations because they allowed a guy/girl to get to know them and either ended up liking the guy/girl or having the guy/girl like them. Once this happens you become a pair, which is HARAAM and shaitan lives happily ever after!!! What we have forgotten is the one thing, which is so obvious, which is that we are always being watched. Would we act like this if the Prophet (SAW) were in front of us? No, because we’d feel like ungrateful idiots for disregarding the Religion which he took so much pain for just to deliver it to us.
The reality is that Allah and the Prophet (SAW) do see us we just don’t see them! How pathetic is it to take the eyes that Allah gave us and misuse them, how much more stupider is it that we even know that He is watching us do it, yet we continue to do so. One major FACT is that we have no secrets in the court of Allah. Because everything we ever did will become public knowledge on the Day of Judgment and each one of us shall be bought to trial. We should always think that we mustn’t do anything, which we don’t want our parents, friends and the whole world to know about.
Remember the friendship of Allah and His messenger is sufficient…death is hunting us…our sins trailing behind us and judgment in front of us…! It is never too late to turn around and start afresh, Allah is the most forgiving and the ever merciful… if we repent with sincere and true hearts then Allah will forgive us Insha’Allah.
FRIENDS
The beloved prophet Muhammad Sallallahu 'alayhi wa salim said, 'a person moulds his life (his deen) according to his friends, so you should be careful about who you make your friend.' (Ahmad)
The Holy Prophet Sallallahu 'alayhi wa salim was once asked what person can be the best friend, Aqa Sallallahu 'alayhi wa salim replied, 'he who helps you remember Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, and he who reminds you when you forget Him.' Then Aqa Sallallahu 'alayhi wa salim was asked 'and which friend is the worst?'
The reply was: 'he who does not help you when you remember Allah Subhaanhu wa Ta'ala and does not remind you of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala when you forget.' The questioner further asked: 'who is the best among people'
Aqa Sallallahu 'alayhi wa salim replied: 'he who when you look at him, you remember Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'ala.
It is therefore very important to choose our friends carefully and influence our friends in a good way..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRJQgM66Hag&feature=relate
The above link is a clip of Shaykh-ul-Islam Dr Muhammad Tahir-ul-Qadri delivering a lecture at the Al-hidayah camp 2006 which took place in Oxfordshire in London..
Shaykh-ul-Islam is reminding us that the best time to change our lives is in our youth! He is reminding us that the only love that is meant to be important in our lives is the Love of Allah (swt) and the love of the beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw)
Shaykh-ul-Islam says
'If you change your lives now you will fly towards the heavens' Shaykh-ul-Islam also points out that when you grow old it will become very difficult to change..
He also adds 'If you become sincere to Allah (swt) and His worship, If you become loyal to Holy Prophet (saw) you would be given food by the heavenly hands' Subhanallah..
Qibla Huzoor is crying for us! telling us to change our ways and become better! and what do we do?? are we changing? or are we just following the loves of the world? are we thinking of the love beyond this world? or are we just following our desires in this world??
When the Prophet Muhammad (saw) comes in our graves willl we recognise the Beloved Prophet (saw) or will we be speechless??? THINK ABOUT IT
It just makes you think we are so lucky to have great friends of Allah like Shaykh-ul-Islam with us today to remind us to follow the way of Allah and His Rasool (saw)..the only thing that will save us in our graves is the love of the Prophet Muhammad (saw).. and if we dont have that love were will we end up??....
Ya Allah guide us towards your love and the love of your Beloved Prophet (Saw)..Ameen..
