Praise2Allah
Junior Member
Sister Sharifa, it depends, are you Shia? What ur parents are saying is mostly what shias say ....
marriage
- Thread starter shariffah
- Start date
:salam2:
This is believed in Pakistan as well & there is no way I can believe such a thing to be acceptable. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) did not have a son (who survived to carry the family line.
I can understand you questioning it & can only advise that you tell your dad that you should marry a muslim son of Adam & Eve. That should be his preference, nothing else unless he can prove it from The Quran or saheeh Hadith.
This is believed in Pakistan as well & there is no way I can believe such a thing to be acceptable. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) did not have a son (who survived to carry the family line.
I can understand you questioning it & can only advise that you tell your dad that you should marry a muslim son of Adam & Eve. That should be his preference, nothing else unless he can prove it from The Quran or saheeh Hadith.
Globalpeace
Banned
Asslamo Allaikum,
These comments are not directed to someone in particular...
I think we all agree that there is NO such thing as Nationalism or Caste or family preference in Islam, however we should be sensitive to the nature of people & explain things in a loving manner; everyone makes mistakes....her father might be inclined towards this matter (which is against the Qur'aan and Sunnah) & we might be inclined towards other matters (which are against the Qur'aan and Sunnah)....When someone is entrenched in a position; its hard to get out it...Lets help people climb out of a hole & not nag them so they entrench themselves even deeper.
Comments to Sister Kayote:
I suggest that you read the Tafseer of Surah Kauthar about the 1st two lines of your comments; you may find something contrary to your understanding; please note that even this Son/Daughter superiority thing is also not from Islam.
Your 2nd two lines are spot on.
These comments are not directed to someone in particular...
I think we all agree that there is NO such thing as Nationalism or Caste or family preference in Islam, however we should be sensitive to the nature of people & explain things in a loving manner; everyone makes mistakes....her father might be inclined towards this matter (which is against the Qur'aan and Sunnah) & we might be inclined towards other matters (which are against the Qur'aan and Sunnah)....When someone is entrenched in a position; its hard to get out it...Lets help people climb out of a hole & not nag them so they entrench themselves even deeper.
Comments to Sister Kayote:
I suggest that you read the Tafseer of Surah Kauthar about the 1st two lines of your comments; you may find something contrary to your understanding; please note that even this Son/Daughter superiority thing is also not from Islam.
Your 2nd two lines are spot on.
Mu'meen_InshaAllah
New Member
Not Permissable Ukhtee
As salaamu alaikum ukhtee,
Mostly she'a have the dominence you write of.
This is not permissible. The following is proof from the scholars. There are more poofs if necessary.
It is not permissible for the father or someone besides him to compel the one who is under his guardianship to marry someone she does not desire to marry. Rather, it is necessary to seek her consent and permission due to the saying of the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam): The virgin is not to be married until her consent has been sought. They said: O Messenger of Allaah! What is her consent? He replied: Her silence. And in another wording: And regarding the virgin, her father seeks her consent and her consent is her silence.
Therefore it is obligatory upon the father when she reaches the age of nine or greater that he asks for her consent. It is likewise for her guardians, they do not marry her without her consent. This is obligatory upon all of them. Whoever marries his daughter without permission/consent then the marriage is not correct because one of the conditions of the marriage is the consent and pleasure of both parties. So if he marries her without her being pleased with it and compels her with strong threats or even beating, the marriage is not valid...
It is required from the prospective husband, when he knows that she does not desire him for marriage, that he does not pursue the matter even if her father facilitates this for him (give him permission). It is obligatory for him to fear Allaah and not to come to the woman who does not want him for marriage... It is obligatory for him to beware of what Allaah has made unlawful upon him and this is because the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) ordered the girls consent to be sought (first).
However the correct saying in this matter is that it is not lawful for the father or any one else to compel the girl into marriage with someone she does not desire even if he is suitable, because the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: Do not marry the virgin until her permission has been sought. And this is general - no one is exempted from it, not (even) her guardians. It is reported in Saheeh Muslim: The virgin, her father is to seek her consent...
Recognize that this is very important to you and every sister in similar situations. Arranged marriages are halal, yet permission must be sought first. Also, it is just as important that the sister must be clear. If she does not answer, this may be accepted as yes.
As salaamu alaikum ukhtee,
Mostly she'a have the dominence you write of.
This is not permissible. The following is proof from the scholars. There are more poofs if necessary.
It is not permissible for the father or someone besides him to compel the one who is under his guardianship to marry someone she does not desire to marry. Rather, it is necessary to seek her consent and permission due to the saying of the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam): The virgin is not to be married until her consent has been sought. They said: O Messenger of Allaah! What is her consent? He replied: Her silence. And in another wording: And regarding the virgin, her father seeks her consent and her consent is her silence.
Therefore it is obligatory upon the father when she reaches the age of nine or greater that he asks for her consent. It is likewise for her guardians, they do not marry her without her consent. This is obligatory upon all of them. Whoever marries his daughter without permission/consent then the marriage is not correct because one of the conditions of the marriage is the consent and pleasure of both parties. So if he marries her without her being pleased with it and compels her with strong threats or even beating, the marriage is not valid...
It is required from the prospective husband, when he knows that she does not desire him for marriage, that he does not pursue the matter even if her father facilitates this for him (give him permission). It is obligatory for him to fear Allaah and not to come to the woman who does not want him for marriage... It is obligatory for him to beware of what Allaah has made unlawful upon him and this is because the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) ordered the girls consent to be sought (first).
However the correct saying in this matter is that it is not lawful for the father or any one else to compel the girl into marriage with someone she does not desire even if he is suitable, because the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: Do not marry the virgin until her permission has been sought. And this is general - no one is exempted from it, not (even) her guardians. It is reported in Saheeh Muslim: The virgin, her father is to seek her consent...
Recognize that this is very important to you and every sister in similar situations. Arranged marriages are halal, yet permission must be sought first. Also, it is just as important that the sister must be clear. If she does not answer, this may be accepted as yes.
Basicofislam
sister
Assalamalikum. Dear Sister yes this happens a lot in Syed families.But even in Syed families there a lot who say they are syed but actually they are not. My aunts were only allowed to marry Syed. This is against islamic belief. But in our family it was one step further. If you did not have a Shijrah to prove your lineage with a proper shijrah you could not marry. Like my family tree is 1400 years old. And the book is that old. But i believe that if you are a good muslim and a true muslim that is better then being from so and so family. and one brother said that it is a shia thing. No it is not cause my family has always been sunni for the past 1400 yrs
salaam alikom sister,
May Allah Help you in your situation, a lot of families and indvidual dothis out of ignorance, they think , that if his/her family tree go to the prophet peace be up on him that they will have special treatment on the day of judgment, if that was true then the Uncle of the prophet peace be up on him ( Abu Tailb) will be the first person who will have special treatment on the day of judgment, but this not ture.
Reminde your family what the prophet peace be up on him said
قال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم :" لو أن فاطمة بنت محمد سرقت لقطعت يدها " ، وقال صلى الله عليه وسلم :" ... ويا فاطمة بنت محمد اشتريا أنفسكما من الله لا أملك لكما من الله شيئا سلاني من مالي ما شئتما " ، وهذا يقتضي أنه لا عصمة لها
[B]the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If Faatimah the daughter of Muhammad were to steal, I would cut off her hand.” And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O Faatimah bint Muhammad, save yourselves, for I cannot avail you anything before Allaah, ask for whatever you want of my wealth.” This implies that she was not infallible. [/B]
reminde your family with what Allah s.w.t Said
الله تعالى يقول : ( يا أيها الناس إنا خلقناكم من ذكر وأنثى وجعلناكم شعوبا وقبائل لتعارفوا إن أكرمكم عند الله أتقاكم ) الحجرات / 13 .
whats your family are doing is a type of discrimination , Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allaah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious]”
[al-Hujuraat 49:13]
وقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم : " يا أيها الناس إن ربكم واحد وإن أباكم واحد ، ألا لا فضل لعربي على أعجمي ولا لأعجمي على عربي ولا لأحمر على أسود ولا لأسود على أحمر إلا بالتقوى ، أبلغت ؟ قالوا بلغ رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم " أخرجه أحمد ( 5 / 411 ) وصححه الألباني في " غاية المرام " ( 313 ) ونقل تصحيح إسناده أيضاً عن شيخ الإسلام ابن تيمية في " الاقتضاء " ( 69 ) .
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O you who believe, verily your Lord is One, and your father [Adam] is one. There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man or of a black man over a red man, except in terms of taqwa (piety). Have I conveyed (the message)?” They said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has conveyed (the message).”(Narrated by Ahmad, 5/411; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 313; it was also narrated from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah that its isnaad is saheeh, in al-Iqtidaa’, 69
وفي الحديث الآخر عنه عليه الصلاة والسلام أنه قال : " لَيَنْتَهِيَنَّ أَقْوَامٌ يَفْتَخِرُونَ بِآبَائِهِمْ ..أَوْ لَيَكُونُنَّ أَهْوَنَ عَلَى اللَّهِ مِنْ الْجُعَلِ الَّذِي يُدَهْدِهُ الْخِرَاءَ بِأَنْفِهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ قَدْ أَذْهَبَ عَنْكُمْ عُبِّيَّةَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ وَفَخْرَهَا بِالْآبَاءِ إِنَّمَا هُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ تَقِيٌّ وَفَاجِرٌ شَقِيٌّ النَّاسُ كُلُّهُمْ بَنُو آدَمَ وَآدَمُ خُلِقَ مِنْ تُرَاب " أخرجه الترمذي ( 3890 ) ، وحسَّنه الألباني في " صحيح سنن الترمذي " برقم ( 3100 ) ، وفي " غاية المرام " ( 312 ) ونقل تصحيح الترمذي وشيخ الإسلام له
According to another hadeeth, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Those who boast about their forefathers should desist or they will be less significant before Allaah than the beetle that rolls up the dung with its nose. Allaah has taken away from you the arrogance of Jaahiliyyah and its pride in forefathers, so a person is either a pious believer or a doomed evildoer. All the people are the children of Adam and Adam was created from dust.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3890; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 3100; and in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 312, it was said that al-Tirmidhi and Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah classed it as saheeh).
الإسلام لا يفرق بين أي مسلم وأخيه بأي مقياس أرضي من لون أو حسب أو مال أو بلد ، بل المقياس الوحيد الذي يتفاضل به الناس عند الله هو التقوى ، بل إن الشرع أمر ولي المرأة أنه إذا وجد الشخص المرضي في الدين والخلق المأمون على المرأة أن يبادر إلى تزويجه وحذر من رده وعدم قبوله كما قال عليه الصلاة والسلام : "إِذَا جَاءَكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ دِينَهُ وَخُلُقَهُ فَأَنْكِحُوهُ إِلا تَفْعَلُوا تَكُنْ فِتْنَةٌ فِي الأرْضِ وَفَسَاد .ٌ قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَإِنْ كَانَ فِيهِ قَالَ إِذَا جَاءَكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ دِينَهُ وَخُلُقَهُ فَأَنْكِحُوهُ ثَلاثَ مَرَّاتٍ " رواه الترمذي ، وحسنه الألباني في صحيح سنن الترمذي ( 866 ) .
Hence it should become clear to you that Islam does not discriminate between one Muslim and another by any earthly standards, whether that be colour, lineage, wealth or country. Rather the only criterion by which people are regarded as superior to others before Allaah is taqwa (piety, consciousness of Allaah). Indeed, the sharee’ah commands the guardian of a woman, if a person comes to propose marriage who is religiously-committed and of good character and attitude, to hasten to arrange the marriage, and to beware of rejecting him and not accepting him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that then there will be much tribulation and mischief in the land.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what if there is some other objection?” He said, “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him,” three times.
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 866
Source Islam Q A
wa salaam alikom
mosabaig
Junior Member
choosing companion..
:salam2: :tti_sister:
:jumpclap: :angryblue: 
:shake: 
:blackhijab: 
:tantrum1: 
:angryred: 
:fighta: 
THINGS ARE CRAZY SOMETIMES AND EXPERIENCE IN LIFE HELPS A LOT..
Choosing companions
Strive to choose righteous friends who are preoccupied with seeking knowledge and are of a good nature, who can help you in achieving your aim, add to the benefits you have already gained, encourage you to seek more knowledge and stop you from feeling bored and tired; friends who are religiously-committed, trustworthy and of good character, who are sincere towards Allaah and who are not merely messing about.
(See Tadhkirat al-Saami’ by Ibn Jamaa’aah).
Beware of the bad companion, for he may influence you and people are like birds, they will resemble one another [i.e., “birds of a feather flock together”]. So beware of mixing with people like that, for that is a sickness, and prevention is better than cure
WHAT PARENTS WANT IS THE BEST FOR YOU, BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE AND IT'S YOUR LIFE. KEEP ASKING ALLAH FOR HELP THROUGH OPTIONAL SALAH AFTER OBLIGATORY AND SUPLICATION.
:salam2: :tti_sister:
:jumpclap: :angryblue: :shake: :blackhijab: :tantrum1: :angryred: :fighta: THINGS ARE CRAZY SOMETIMES AND EXPERIENCE IN LIFE HELPS A LOT..
Choosing companions
Strive to choose righteous friends who are preoccupied with seeking knowledge and are of a good nature, who can help you in achieving your aim, add to the benefits you have already gained, encourage you to seek more knowledge and stop you from feeling bored and tired; friends who are religiously-committed, trustworthy and of good character, who are sincere towards Allaah and who are not merely messing about.
(See Tadhkirat al-Saami’ by Ibn Jamaa’aah).
Beware of the bad companion, for he may influence you and people are like birds, they will resemble one another [i.e., “birds of a feather flock together”]. So beware of mixing with people like that, for that is a sickness, and prevention is better than cure
WHAT PARENTS WANT IS THE BEST FOR YOU, BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE AND IT'S YOUR LIFE. KEEP ASKING ALLAH FOR HELP THROUGH OPTIONAL SALAH AFTER OBLIGATORY AND SUPLICATION.
is it also the case in indonesia?
very intresting. is it also the same in indonesia
i have always known malayasia to be extremely liberal but this is new.........
very intresting. is it also the same in indonesia
i have always known malayasia to be extremely liberal but this is new.........
Peace2u
Turn To Islam
Sister in Islam, what your parents are doing is going against Islam and the Sunna. Unfortunately this is simply a case of culture and has nothing to do with Islam at all.
You should be allowed to marry a MUSLIM regardless, for as long as he is a practising one.
This reminds me of the cast system in the Hindu religion, you see Islam abolished all this, and the Prophet made it clear in his teachings.
Inshallah you will marry a good Muslim man.
Salam alai kum
You should be allowed to marry a MUSLIM regardless, for as long as he is a practising one.
This reminds me of the cast system in the Hindu religion, you see Islam abolished all this, and the Prophet made it clear in his teachings.
Inshallah you will marry a good Muslim man.
Salam alai kum