Marry a Muslim woman

[Frank_H_Smith]

As Salamu 'Alaykum,

Brother Arzafar,

Thank you for spending so much time and energy on your response. I totally agree with the examples you gave concerning accepting their protection, support, preferring them to Muslim, praise their false religion, and going to their parties which often contain Christian Prayers to Jesus. However, this raises another question; Why is it permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslimah woman? Is a wife a support doesn't she provide protection when the husband is away of the property and children? Although I am separated from my Christian Wife, we are still friends spending much of our time together during the day. She will often have me stay for dinner and I drive her to doctor appointments and we have to grown boys one in his early thirties and one in his late thirties. We do not share a marriage bed, but we are still very emotionally connected. Why is it permissible to marry a non-Muslimah, but not to be friends with them? As I said, I understand the refusal of accepting support or protection or rule by them, but I don't see the logic in not going to their social events if there will be no religious aspect to it. Our own Masjid has interfaith dinners where we do Dawah and involve ourselves in community service issues.

Was Sallam, Hamza (aka Frank)(aka Francis)(aka Paco)(aka Puncho)(aka Francisco)

 

[ipanda]

As Salamu 'Alaykum,

Brother Arzafar,

Thank you for spending so much time and energy on your response. I totally agree with the examples you gave concerning accepting their protection, support, preferring them to Muslim, praise their false religion, and going to their parties which often contain Christian Prayers to Jesus. However, this raises another question; Why is it permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslimah woman? Is a wife a support doesn't she provide protection when the husband is away of the property and children? Although I am separated from my Christian Wife, we are still friends spending much of our time together during the day. She will often have me stay for dinner and I drive her to doctor appointments and we have to grown boys one in his early thirties and one in his late thirties. We do not share a marriage bed, but we are still very emotionally connected. Why is it permissible to marry a non-Muslimah, but not to be friends with them? As I said, I understand the refusal of accepting support or protection or rule by them, but I don't see the logic in not going to their social events if there will be no religious aspect to it. Our own Masjid has interfaith dinners where we do Dawah and involve ourselves in community service issues.

Was Sallam, Hamza (aka Frank)(aka Francis)(aka Paco)(aka Puncho)(aka Francisco)

@Frank_H_Smith

Dear Brother,

you have wrote important message. I am not in a position to question Quran or those who know it like the palm of thier hand but you do have an interesting insight about the marraige and friendship thing. It is one of the things that bug me btw.

 

[Bawar]

As Salamu 'Alaykum,

As I said, I understand the refusal of accepting support or protection or rule by them, but I don't see the logic in not going to their social events if there will be no religious aspect to it. Our own Masjid has interfaith dinners where we do Dawah and involve ourselves in community service issues.

Assalamu alaikum brother!

I agree with you. Islam is an inclusive and not exclusive religion. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala addresses all humanity in most verses of Holy Quran. Islam is not only for those who are already muslims, but for everyone.

We can only share it with everyone if we extend our friendly manners to them and engage with them in the best of manners.

Quran 16:125
"Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided."

 

[arzafar]

As Salamu 'Alaykum,

Brother Arzafar,

Thank you for spending so much time and energy on your response. I totally agree with the examples you gave concerning accepting their protection, support, preferring them to Muslim, praise their false religion, and going to their parties which often contain Christian Prayers to Jesus. However, this raises another question; Why is it permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslimah woman? Is a wife a support doesn't she provide protection when the husband is away of the property and children? Although I am separated from my Christian Wife, we are still friends spending much of our time together during the day. She will often have me stay for dinner and I drive her to doctor appointments and we have to grown boys one in his early thirties and one in his late thirties. We do not share a marriage bed, but we are still very emotionally connected. Why is it permissible to marry a non-Muslimah, but not to be friends with them? As I said, I understand the refusal of accepting support or protection or rule by them, but I don't see the logic in not going to their social events if there will be no religious aspect to it. Our own Masjid has interfaith dinners where we do Dawah and involve ourselves in community service issues.

Was Sallam, Hamza (aka Frank)(aka Francis)(aka Paco)(aka Puncho)(aka Francisco)

thank you brother Hamza

1) im a novice in islam
2) it did not take much effort. i just coped and pasted from a site (islamqa).

There are separate rulings in islam for different cases, and all of them are based on textual evidence rather then argumentation.

Islam does not prevent marriage to a woman from the people of the book if she is chaste. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“…The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends…”
[al-Maa’idah 5:5]

Similarly we have to give neighbors, parents, family, customers, employees, slaves etc their rights irrespective to their religious beliefs. Similarly dawah activities are also allowed as you correctly point out. However, all that doesnt over rule the general ruling.

The general ruling is that friendship is not allowed with non muslims although there are exceptions to this rule as pointed out above. Friendship here implies keeping unnecessary/avoidable interaction with non-muslims which can lead a muslim astray and generate likeness towards non-muslims and their ways. The zenith of faith is that a muslim hates what Allah and His messenger hates and loves what Allah and His messenger loves. We all know that Allah hates those who associate partners with Him.

One important principle id like to point out is that the general ruling overrides the ruling in exceptional cases; not the other way round.

for eg. if a muslim is dead thirsty and cant find a water, he can drink some wine to save his life. that's the exception to the general rule that wine is forbidden and is serious sin, punishable by public lashing in this world and in hellfire in the hereafter (unless sincere repentance is done).

this was my understanding of the texts and the scholarly views that i came across on this issue so keep point 1 in mind.

 

[omar162]

Ipanda,

Your question is unique. If I understand you correctly, you have an intellectual curiosity concerning Islam; however, at this time you are not interested in becoming a Muslim. What confuses me is why you are interested in marrying a Muslimah.? What is it that attracts you to woman of our faith? I am a revert to Islam (we are taught that The Prophet (PBUH) reported that Allah said, "I created my servants in the right religion but devils made them go astray". The Prophet (PBUH) also said, "Each child is born in a state of "Fitrah", then his parents make him a Jew, Christian or a Zoroastrian, the way an animal gives birth to a normal offspring. Have you noticed any that were born mutilated?" (Collected by Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim). ) so we use the word revert as in to return rather than convert which means to change.

Most Abrahamic Religions teach not to marry outside of your religions. Jews, Christian, and Muslims all have the principle of "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, says the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty" (II Cor. 6:14-18). I realize that all three groups believe in the God of Abraham; however, each has a much different conception or understanding of who Allah is and much different traditions.

If you were to marry a Muslimah who went against her faith and married a non-Muslim, how would you raise any children? Muslim, Christian, give them no instruction or training until they themselves chose their path?

We only have two Holidays in Islam. We do not celebrate the holidays of the Jews or Christians; so, what would you do when a Christian Holiday occurred?

I see you live in a country where the average life span is just slightly more than doubled your age. If I lived there I would statistically be death.

Are you planning to convert to Islam from Christianity? What are you looking for in Islam that you aren't finding in Christianity?

I am not interrogating you. It's just that your original statement is so unique that I have trouble understanding the motivation behind it. I know many men in "Modern Countries" are intimidated by "Modern Women" who are competitive, assertive, intelligent, and self assured and they mistakenly believe that our sisters are passive because of the pictures run in the Western Media of Muslimah being treated like property or pets. That is a myth as you will learn from this forum. Muslimah are more often than not intelligent, confident, wise, strong willed, and in possession of all of the characteristics that a confident man would want in a life mate. They are not servants or slaves to their husbands (although they are to Allaah.).

How do your friends and family feel about your desire to marry a Muslimah?

As you learn more about the beauty of the perfected religion of Islam and develop a personal relationship to Allaah, Al Qur'aan, and The Prophet (Salla Alayhu 'Alayhi Wa Sallam) and his rulings found in the Hadiths and Sunnah, I think you will become more interested in being a slave to Allaah and less interested in marrying a slave.

May you find the Truth that will lead you to Jannah and not follow in the path upon whom Allah's Wrath will lead them to Jahannum .

Hamza (aka Frank)

Excellent reply, Br. Hamza/Frank!

 

[Frank_H_Smith]

As Salamu 'alaykum,

Thank you all for such kind words. I greatly respect the knowledge and wisdom or the members of this forum. But, what I really like is if I may quote from the Bible:


Psa 133:1 Cántico gradual: de David. *!MIRAD cuán bueno y cuán delicioso es Habitar los hermanos igualmente en uno!
Psa 133:2 Es como el buen óleo sobre la cabeza, El cual desciende sobre la barba, La barba de Aarón, Y que baja hasta el borde de sus vestiduras;
Psa 133:3 Como el rocío de Hermón, Que desciende sobre los montes de Sión: Porque allí envía Jehová bendición, Y vida eterna.


Psa 133:1 A Song of degrees of David. Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!
Psa 133:2 It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;
Psa 133:3 As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.