ME AND MY WIFE R NOT HAPPY

[ADAM786]

:salam2:

WE R FALLING OUT....

HELP US PLS

I HAVE TIRED TO PRAY 2 NALFA BUT WE R STILL NOT HAPPY

I HAVE READ THE QURAN BUT WE R STILL NOT HAPPY

WHAT SURAH SHOULD I READ?

I HAVE PAY POOR PEOPLE BUT WE R STILL NOT HAPPY.

PLS WE WANT TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER BUT WE SEEM WE R NOT HAPPY COS WE HAVE LOTS OF AGRUEMENT.

 

[palestine]

Asalamu alaykum. dear brother, firstly calm down. secondly reflect back on how you've lived your life. all these good deeds you've done, did you do them sincerely? ask yourself that. Think about the things you and your wife argue about, are they worth the time or the effort...if not then end them and make a goal that you will not argue about them again. When you reflect back on your life ask your self these questions: have i been sincere in my prayers, in my zakat, in reading the glorious words of Allah? If the answer is no...then stop being unsincere and start being sincere. Ask yourself about the things you argue over...if they really are a waste of time, think of what you can do with your time...teaching her or yourself an ayat of the quran, or pondering over the meaning of the ayat. Look at yourself...if you are the one who is causing the arguements then let them go and apologize to your wife. if she is wrong then sit down with her and talk to her without blaming or yelling at her. Acknowledge that Allah almighty is watching both of you and that your words are being recorded by the angels, so don't waste the two days of living on earth by arguing but live those two days as if it was the last hour of your life. it's not gonna be easy of course. but the ticket to paradise is expensive and if you and your sweetheart wanna get there...you have to do what it takes. so drop the nonsense talks, and start new and fresh by abiding by the laws of Allah. even if you were the right one, tell her your sorry and your example might lead her to realizing that she is also doing something wrong and that the two of you should start putting your differences aside and working together to get to paradise inshallah. anyways i'm not married but i'm just talking from the perspective of Islam(i hope). anyways asalamu alaykum and peace be to you both.
ps: pray salatu layl that Allah makes everything alright for the two of you. salam.

 

[warda A]

Patience

:salam2:

Patience is the key to all arguments

Keep in mind that shaitan works his ways when there is an argument. so when you feel like an argument is starting say Authbika minal shaitani rajeem.
(i seek refuge from the shaitan the acursed)
remember be calm and do not despair in your duas

 

[abubaseer]

As Salaam Alaykum Akhee,

Just my opinion, please correct me if I'm wrong...

In my humble opinion, there could be two causes for the problem:

1. Your spouse has something that you dislike intrinsically (meaning she cannot change it even if she was made aware of it) and viceversa.

2. You dislike certain things in your spouse which are not intrinsically part of her. and viceversa.

In first case remember what Allah has to say in Quran:

“Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” (Quran: An-Nisaa 19)


You might dislike some thing in your spouse and the poor girl has no way to change that...And don't we all have certain deficiencies which we can never change.
Have mercy on her for that and InshAllah! Allah will bring about greater good
from her.

In case of second point:

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Quran: Ar-Rum 21)

Sit together and ponder over the verses of Quran in which Allah says the pupose of creating spouse...is to be a sourcse of tranquility.

Are you/her providing that to each other ?

Ask her about 10 things she doesn't like about you...Try never to do them
Ask her about 10 things she likes about you...try to do them aga in and again!

Shaytaan is trying to create rift between you and you need to forgive and forget and pray to Allah...InshaAllah verything will be fine.

please remember the example of how Rasoolullah (SAWS) treated his wives...

Once Umm-ul-Momimeen Ayesha (RA) was crying because she was angry because she was put up on a Slow camel!

We might have given a good lecture if our spouse did that, saying how childish she is and blah blah blah...

But, what did the person who is the best example for us to follow do ?

He consoled her and put her on a FAST Camel.

Finally, try talking FIQH of Love course at Al Maghrib Institute both of you.
If that is not possible, buy FIQH OF LOVE cd from emanrush and both of you listen it together...

 

[gazkour]

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

Who said that we are to be happy in this earth?

Remember that real happiness is in Jannah enshaAllah and not here, this life is just a test and tests are difficult and annoying!!

If it was because of happiness I would not be married anymore! Allah knows best. I'm just doing it for the sake of Allah and my kid.

When we cling unto Allah, The Mercifull gives us peace, contenment and patience.

May Allah guide us all.

Sorry if I sound harsh....life is harsh....

 

[hager]

well...some tips

well,
i know,the real happiness,in jannah
life's so diffcult
sometimes..we feel that we're so depressed..
disappointment
sad

brother...?
my advice to u..,
sure,pray,qur'an..everything
i suggest..to "Marry urself"..
marry urself..'s an expression..it's mean.love urself,love Adam..
that's doesn't have any relation with selfish..

but..change from urself..from ur hair cut..
Bought flowers to ur wife
Sms her ..in a msg "i love u,my baby darling"
go out with her..explain to her "that u're sorry,for everything"
i know,u didn't do any mistake....but the word"Sorry"..make people feel comfortable

i suggest to go shopping with her..
choose for her a dress..tell her "i bet,u would looks awesome..a mazing,when u wear this dress"

Tell her"honey.let's change out home design..specailly "bed room,living room "
Help her in house work

surpice her..as"wake up,early,and fix breakfast for her"
Do exercise together..

this's some tips..
i told u it..cuz,i'm a women...i'd love if my husband do that with me...

when u feel that u're going to make fight..
change ur position
seat on chair..
Never leave the room...,cuz,that's would annoyed her..
tell her "honey,calm down...we'll get over all of that"
"i love u,baby"

call ur wife:.
with her neck name,...honey/sweetheart/baby/dear..
So on...

and there's another stuff...:,
as ..kiss her when u're going to work..after kissing her,tell her,i love u..
call her,through ur work..how're u,my dear?
So on..

hope i could help u..,
display qur'an"suort el-bakra"in ur car,at home...cuz,it'll back off all evil,satan,Shyatan..
I'll keep u in my prayer
bye
salam o likum

 

[hager]

I forget ,Adam

if u have some problems with ur wife
about money or bills
discuss it,our of home..not in home..that's better
allah know the best
i wish to u alla happiness,adam

 

[q8penpals]

Salam

I agree with Hagar - yes, pray and read Qu'ran, but the problem is between you and your wife. You need to talk to each other - ask her to tell you 10 things she wishes you would/could changes about your marriage, and then ask her for 10 things that she likes/does not want to change about your marriage. Then look at the things she would like to change and see how many of them you can actually work to accomplish. Then think to yourself things that you like about your marriage and things you wish could change - and work to change them.

It will take time, patience, and hard work - any one who says that marriage is easy probably has never been married! Too many people are too eager to say "we fought, so we will divorce" or "I don't like xyz about him, so I will divorce him" or "she gained 10 pounds, so I will divorce her" and they make divorce too easy (and this is not just in the West - during Ramadan, the Kuwait news posted that 53% of Kuwaiti marriages now end in divorce, many within the first 2 years - that tells me two things - either they did not truly check to see that they were compatible, or they didn't want to work together to become a true couple).

First, though, I guess you have to sit down, and with prayer, think about your wife - is she someone that you WANT to be married to and are willing to work with? If you honestly, HONESTLY, don't think you can be married to her, then let her go. If you honestly look at your wife and think, "yes, I could spend the rest of my life with her, we just have to work through these current problems" then do everything in your power to fix your marriage.

And buy her flowers every now and then, for no particular reason (even a single flower), and tell her something like, "when I saw this beautiful flower, it reminded me of you" - making sure it is true, of course!

Romancing your wife can help a lot.

Good luck!

Lana (who has been through a divorce and can say that while it was by no means pleasant, it was not the end of the world, and I am married much happier now)