miscarriages may cause a divorce

[lailaanjum]

:salam2:

i'm new here so dont really know how it works but nyway here it goes. i m desperately in need of every dua i can get, i had two miscarriages at 8 months n i guess its basically messed up my mind. i cant sleep, i argue with my hubby all cos i tink we'll end up gettin a divorce.

i had to move to canada n havnt been out where i can talk to sumone, isntead i m home all day with my in laws n they make tings worse with their comments n sly remarks, i feel like i m livin in hell. there hav been times when i want to scream n shout, but instead i pray to Allah, i cant read namaz without cryin, i feel depressed.

please help me with ny duas that u can tell me to read to giv me peace of mind n to prevent me from havin miscarriages, i would b grateful...........:tti_sister: i need every prayer i can get

 

[MubarekMuslimah]

In al-Tirmidhi, Ahmad, and others: "Whoever of my Community have two forerunners [farataan=children who died early], Allah enters them Paradise." `A'isha said, Allah be well-pleased with her, "What about a single forerunner?" The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) replied, upon him peace, "And whoever has a single forerunner, you gifted woman!" She said, "And whoever has none?" He replied, "I am the forerunner of my Community. They endure nothing greater than my loss." Look how he wants everyone to reap the greatest benefit - upon him blessings and peace! {And We never sent you but as a mercy to the worlds} (21:107).

In Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi, and Ibn Majah, the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said, upon him peace: "Whoever sends forth three children that never reached puberty, they will be for him [and her] a strong fortress [in the hereafter]." Abu Dharr said, "I sent forth two." The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said, upon him peace, "And two." Ubay ibn Ka`b said, "I sent forth one." The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said, upon him peace, "And one; but that is only [subject to SABR] at the first shock." From Ibn Mas`ud.

In the Musnad of `Abd ibn Humayd from Mu`adh, the Prophet said, upon him peace: "No two Muslims lost three children except Allah will cause the two parents to enter Paradise through the favor of His mercy toward them." They said, "What about two, Messenger of Allah?" He said, "Two also." They said, "And one?" He said, "[Even] the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother [and father, see below] with its umbilical cord to Paradise!"

The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said, upon him peace, "The miscarried child will pester its glorious and mighty Lord for His entering its two parents into the Fire until it is told, 'O miscarried child that pesters its Lord! Enter your father and mother into Paradise.' Then it will drag them with its umbilical cord until it makes them enter Paradise." Ibn Majah and Abu Ya`la from `Ali.

And again, "By the One in Whose hand is my soul, truly the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother with its umbilical cord to Paradise, provided one expects recompense [for SABR]." Ibn Majah and Ahmad from Mu`adh.

And he said, upon him peace: "Your little ones are the larvas (da`aamees) of Paradise. They will meet their parents and grab them by their garments or their hands to no end other than that Allah will enter them Paradise." Sahih Muslim.

Sister Assalaamu alaikum

Your message makes me so sad sis - I feel for you. I have not experienced miscarriage but I am having my own issues right now regarding having children and I really want you to know that I know, kind of, what you are going through.....your brothers and sister here love you for the sake of Allah swt. Please read the evidences above insha'allah and they may go someway to help you and ease your pain insha'allah. Please talk to your husband he must be grieving like you - communicate and get it out. If it would be better for your marriage to move away from the in-laws then please do so insha'allah.

The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said, upon him peace: "The Believer is not tried by fatigue nor illness nor anxiety nor difficulty nor harm nor distress - not even by a thorn that pricks them except Allah Most High erases some sins with it!" Al-Bukhari and Muslim.

We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast, Who say, when a misfortune strikes them: Lo! we belong to Allah and Lo! unto Him we are returning. Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly guided} (2:155-157).

You are in my du'a.

Wasalaams

 

[the only truth]

salaam sister,

i really feel for u...subhanallah, this is a test for u, ur hubby n in-laws....u jus mksre ur da stonger one, Allah blesses those he wishes with children...this is up to Allah n he knows the struggle ur going thru...i dont know any specific duas...but try ro make dua at the times it is most acepted...wich is at Tahajjud time, before iftar...n der is a hour on friday n no-one knows wen it is...but in tht hour Allah answers his servants prayers sooo mke loads of dua on friday also...insha-allah all goes well...u'l be in my duas.

Wassalam sis

i actually remembered i have a dua in this dua book for children..one of the prophets prayed this dua for children when he was of old age n his wife was barren...even ten Allah swt granted him a son...so here it goes insha-allah..

"rabbi la tazharni fardaw wa anta khayrul waritheen"

translation:My Lord, do not leave me childless though You are the bet of inheritors.

its from the quran...surah Anbiyya...hope it helps insha-allah.

 

[Saifu deen]

:salam2:

You'll be in my duas sister inshallah... Trust in Allah (swt)

 

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
Welcome to the forum dear sister. Everything is a test from Allah. Stay strong and know that everything happens for a reason. Allah will give you what you ask for, duaa is the weapon of the believer. Everything happens by Allah's Qadr. I will pray for you dear sister, and may Allah bless you with pious righteous children, ameen!!:tti_sister:

 

[hambaAllah]

Be strong sister


:salam2:


:tti_sister: You will be in my prayers sister May Allah swt makes it easy for you and keep you steadfast in whatever youre going through now.Ameen Ya Rabbal Alameen

 

[lailaanjum]

salam

thank so much for ur duas, the dua that u hav told me is there ny particular time i shld read it n how many times?? thanks once again

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Sister welcome to your extended family. InshaAllah I will make dua as will the other members.
The pain of a miscarriage is very personal. Others do not relealize the bonding that has taken place. No-one quite understands the hopes and dreams that are snatched away so quickly. However, be strong sister. Put your full trust in Allah subhana talla.
I thought my world had come to an end when I miscarried. It was the first of my three at risk pregnancies. However, with prayer Allah subhana talla gave me two wonderful sons. Alhumdullila.
This is the time for you to ignore ignorance. People are petty. Pray. Spend time devoted to Islam. Spend time learning. Spend time doing something. Often adult education is an inexpensive option. Take a class in something, make it fun and make sure you are around young people. Bake, knit, crochet, paint, basketweave, take a computer class anything...and when it is time..let us know so we can knit with you.

 

[muharram23]

:salam2:

i'm new here so dont really know how it works but nyway here it goes. i m desperately in need of every dua i can get, i had two miscarriages at 8 months n i guess its basically messed up my mind. i cant sleep, i argue with my hubby all cos i tink we'll end up gettin a divorce.

i had to move to canada n havnt been out where i can talk to sumone, isntead i m home all day with my in laws n they make tings worse with their comments n sly remarks, i feel like i m livin in hell. there hav been times when i want to scream n shout, but instead i pray to Allah, i cant read namaz without cryin, i feel depressed.

please help me with ny duas that u can tell me to read to giv me peace of mind n to prevent me from havin miscarriages, i would b grateful...........:tti_sister: i need every prayer i can get

S.A
sister just know that nothing can happen in this world without the permission of Allah. U and me or ur husban or anyone in this world can't do something that ALlah has already not prescribed for us before we were created, and we have to believe in that. Just like Allah provides everything else, He s.va provides children to whom he wants and doesnt to whom He s.va wants. We should have trust in ALlah. Maybe Allah sva doesnt want to give you kids in that time because maybe is not good for you. We have to think and believe and ask Allah to give what is best for us. We should pray istikhara even when we want kids and ask Allah s.va. to give us kids but if those kids will not obey ALlah when they grow up or will take their parents away from deen than may ALlah not give us those kids. Just remeber the story of Khidr a.s and Musa a.s when khidr killed that little kid, and Musa couldnt believe why. But then Khidr a.s told musa that that little kid had riches parents and that this kid would take their parents from the deen and so Khidr prevented that with the order of Allah. Im gonna give you this aajaah from quran and if you trust in Allah, it will fill ur heart with peace. Allah s.va says in sura As-shoora,

48. If then they run away, We have not sent thee as a guard over them. Thy duty is but to convey (the Message). And truly, when We give man a taste of a Mercy from Ourselves, he doth exult thereat, but when some ill happens to him, on account of the deeds which his hands have sent forth, truly then is man ungrateful!
49. To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills (and plans). He bestows (children) male or female according to His Will (and Plan),

50. Or He bestows both males and females, and He leaves barren whom He will: for He is full of Knowledge and Power.

And subhanAllah this is true. We all believe in Allah s.va. and love Him when we get what we want, but as soon as we don't get what we want, or yet something of calamities struck us, we forget on Allah.

May Allah s.va improve us

Allah knows best

wa

 

[mohsofi_abdullah]

Dear sis
I'm glad you told us about your story, and I'm very proud of you having to absorb such pressure from the in laws and the husband...
Kinda like, you got tested with abortion, and some other people are trying to punish you for that too...
Wow
You can't go any wrongER than that huh?
You see, muslims are so tied up with having children, everywhere in this world. Without kids, many do not feel so Islamic. However, it is not being Islamic that concerns us most. It is being unable to have kids, to be proud of, and the idea of having the ability to talk about them.
But, this is not confined only to muslims...
I know for sure that there are non muslim friends of mine who get so irritated by their in laws or their own parents because they still can't give them grand kids.
Such behaviour can actually lead to divorce, and it happens a lot. Some wives settle with letting their husband marry a second one so they can quickly make as many babies they want. Some divorce. Some fought their hubbies for even thinking about marrying another "virgin". Believe me, these are the truth about men. Not all, but they are quite a "groupie". Such is male chouvinisme (spelling?).
But, this is not Islam, and we should just try to put them aside and worry about other things, that god wants us to do.
God wants us to pray to HIM, on things we really want, that's not against Islam. Therefore, if the in laws want to have grand kids, but you're not quite there yet because of some incidents, I really do think that your in laws have to join the male chauvinist club, so that they could get an association to fire sons or daughters in law... This is not even funny that people are treating the sons or daughters in law like that.
But, you said it yourself, you can actually be patient with them, and "turn your face" to Allah Subhanahuwataala. That's like the most awesome response.
Wassalam