Muslimtiamo
New Member
Salam Alikum all,
I wanted to share my story which like many other non-Muslims who became Muslims, it all started with a search for the Truth and nothing but the truth.
I was born and raised Muslim in a moderate Muslim family within a Muslim society and all the support/help a Muslim would expect. I've always prayed, fasted, read the Quran several times, and even did Hajj. I was as good a moderate Muslim can be.
However, after years of disconnect and living in a western society with no links to Muslims, I began to lose that touch with God (Allah). The Media, science and everything around me was forcing that idea God did not exist.
I became lost, I started questioning God. Why this is happening, and why is that the way it is. I went further and began thinking about athiest ideas : what if God doesn't exist ?
Wht if this is the Matrix, or some unusual mathematical equation that resolves itself. Things became quite confusing to me. I wanted to know the truth, the real truth of what is life and who is God.
I reached that point of disconnect that I stopped praying and was Muslim only by calling. Until one Ramadan came..... I thought to myself, will I fast ?
I've decided that If Qura'an is God's book, from God himself, then it should be something of no equal in the world. Even though I've read the Quran many times as a Muslim, I've never read it in my life for the purpose of understanding it.
It was always some Sheikh or A'alim who explains it to us and tell us what to do. Never read it for myself to learn what to do and what God wanted me to do.
So that Ramadan, I started from Surat Bakara. I took my time reading and understanding each phrase (luckily I read Arabic well).
First few nights, I shivered reading God's words. Tears filling my eyes, my body shaking of fear, guilt and begging for mercy.
Every word in the Quran would send waves of feelings inside me. I found chapter after a chapter not only answers, but explanations, stories of people who had asked my questions before.
Stories about people who were sent every sign to prove God exist, yet they choose to ignore it. They became arrogant and always asked for more impossible signs. Stories about our world, life and human nature.
The most moving part is the story of Abraham standing on the mountain and wondering who is God. When he saw a planet in the sky, he said this is God, but once it disappeared he said it is not. Then he saw the moon, he said this is God and when it disappeared he said not. Then he saw the sun rising and said this is God , this is bigger but when it disappeared he said to his people that he believes not in what they pray for. He believes only in God that created the skies and earth.
I felt Abraham story closest resembled what I had to go with. So I'm back as a Muslim and I know for sure now that it is the truth and only the truth.
No Sheikh, Imam or any person had to tell me that. I went and found it myself, and my encouragement to everyone wanting to know the truth is to read the Quran with intent of understanding it, not for the purpose of just finish reading it.
The last thing I remember from reading the Quran is: Not all people will believe in God, but only those looking for the truth and God opens up their hearts for acceptance will believe.
Sorry for the long writing, I had the urge to share my story after reading the many wonderful others.....my little search for the truth brought me back to Islam.
I wanted to share my story which like many other non-Muslims who became Muslims, it all started with a search for the Truth and nothing but the truth.
I was born and raised Muslim in a moderate Muslim family within a Muslim society and all the support/help a Muslim would expect. I've always prayed, fasted, read the Quran several times, and even did Hajj. I was as good a moderate Muslim can be.
However, after years of disconnect and living in a western society with no links to Muslims, I began to lose that touch with God (Allah). The Media, science and everything around me was forcing that idea God did not exist.
I became lost, I started questioning God. Why this is happening, and why is that the way it is. I went further and began thinking about athiest ideas : what if God doesn't exist ?
Wht if this is the Matrix, or some unusual mathematical equation that resolves itself. Things became quite confusing to me. I wanted to know the truth, the real truth of what is life and who is God.
I reached that point of disconnect that I stopped praying and was Muslim only by calling. Until one Ramadan came..... I thought to myself, will I fast ?
I've decided that If Qura'an is God's book, from God himself, then it should be something of no equal in the world. Even though I've read the Quran many times as a Muslim, I've never read it in my life for the purpose of understanding it.
It was always some Sheikh or A'alim who explains it to us and tell us what to do. Never read it for myself to learn what to do and what God wanted me to do.
So that Ramadan, I started from Surat Bakara. I took my time reading and understanding each phrase (luckily I read Arabic well).
First few nights, I shivered reading God's words. Tears filling my eyes, my body shaking of fear, guilt and begging for mercy.
Every word in the Quran would send waves of feelings inside me. I found chapter after a chapter not only answers, but explanations, stories of people who had asked my questions before.
Stories about people who were sent every sign to prove God exist, yet they choose to ignore it. They became arrogant and always asked for more impossible signs. Stories about our world, life and human nature.
The most moving part is the story of Abraham standing on the mountain and wondering who is God. When he saw a planet in the sky, he said this is God, but once it disappeared he said it is not. Then he saw the moon, he said this is God and when it disappeared he said not. Then he saw the sun rising and said this is God , this is bigger but when it disappeared he said to his people that he believes not in what they pray for. He believes only in God that created the skies and earth.
I felt Abraham story closest resembled what I had to go with. So I'm back as a Muslim and I know for sure now that it is the truth and only the truth.
No Sheikh, Imam or any person had to tell me that. I went and found it myself, and my encouragement to everyone wanting to know the truth is to read the Quran with intent of understanding it, not for the purpose of just finish reading it.
The last thing I remember from reading the Quran is: Not all people will believe in God, but only those looking for the truth and God opens up their hearts for acceptance will believe.
Sorry for the long writing, I had the urge to share my story after reading the many wonderful others.....my little search for the truth brought me back to Islam.
