My 1st test help needed

[Mixedup]

Dear brothers & Sisters

I seriously need some advice. I have just been reading a thread about Christmas and this had never popped into my head until now. As a new revert of a whole 1 week I am still learning and feel this is my 1st test so I want to do the right thing.

I need to explain that I have 2 children one non muslim and one who is Muslim. It's complicated I know but I already had a 10 month old son when I met my Muslim partner 13 years ago. He will be 14 years old on 24th December.
Now my problem is that he has invited his grand parents over for Christmas dinner and they have said yes which was fine a few weeks back but now I'm panicing because I dont beleive I should celebrate Christmas.
But my son bless him does celebrate Christmas. He does not understand religion etc and will not revert as he is a non beleiver in anything but obviously likes getting presents and the fun of been with family.
I am hoping that with my guidance he will choose Islam when ready.
So what do I do??? I will feel so bad if I let my parents down as well as for upsetting my son who has always celebrated Christmas as have I.
Christmas Day has no religious meaning for me or my family its just a few days off work and presents!!!
Oh how I try to justify!!!
Is it ok for my parents to come for dinner (not Christmas dinner) as obviously we will be having roti and is it ok for them to give my children gifts? They would never buy for one without the other??
I know I cant celebrate it but is it ok to tolerate others celebrations if we do not celebrate them from a religious perspective ourselves.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say as I am known for rambling on and on.
I really need your support and guidance at this time
Thank you

Jo

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

:salam2: dear sister Jo, your situation is indeed complicated, as you say I am not a scholar or very educated on these things at all but, like you, I am a revert to Islam (from a non-practising Catholic family). Could you maybe invite them also for a nice dinner around Eid, earlier in December (perhaps December 9th) and be sure to make a fuss over the kids with gifts etc for this occasion? I don't think you should take back the invitation for your parents to come over on Christmas Day and them giving the children gifts on that day either, this is my opinion as a lay person and revert However, I think as time goes on, do as I have done with mine.... place more emphasis on the two big Eids and be sure to get both children gifts and visit a big mosque with all the family so they see the beautiful celebration and get some sense of belonging there. Then, as time goes on, Christmas will lose its appeal and you can gradually phase it out altogether... When your older son sees you doing prayers and perhaps goes with you to some events at Islamic centres, etc., you never know what might happen as he matures, Insha Allah I thought my son, who is only turning seven next month would be devastated about no fuss at Christmas (we used to try and spend it with my family in Ireland or friends in the USA). Last Christmas, we spent the week in Michigan with my sister-in-law and her kids who are muslim too so Christmas was not even mentioned by my kids. They are kids, they want presents and so we make a big fuss on the Eids and that is what they identify with now Sometimes it is harder on the parent than the child, I was so worried with no real reason!! Okay I am rambling now... By the way, what is roti (it sounds like something spicy and yummy)?

Your sister,
catherine iman

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

I think sister Catherine gave excellent advice. With Eid in the same month as Christmas you can easily move the celebration to your house and therefore your son will still get to celebrate the holidays and not feel left out.And grandparents will usually be very flexiable as long as they get to spoil the grandkids.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[Mixedup]

Hi Sisters

Thanks for that. We always celebrate Eid as my partner has always been Muslim but I think because preperations have already been made etc etc I am feeling bad. I am sort off hoping its ok to go along with dinner etc this year as its so close but then explain that next year our celebrations will only be Eid and they are welcome to come over and celebrate with us.

Roti is just a word we use to say asian food. It also means chappatti. I think it will be a chicken curry or lamb and something vegetarian for my dad!!!but hot for a laugh as hes too polite to say anything!!!!

Thank you
Joanne

 

[Tru3m0sl3m]

:...By the way, what is roti (it sounds like something spicy and yummy)?

:salam2:
Yup spicy! Only if it has something to go with it like hyderabadi chicken, chicken chilli or dal made especially by my mum. Lol
:wassalam: