Sister, I am wondering if your lack of desire to make an effort with your appearance is due to self esteem issues? Obviously, your husband being unwilling to be romantic with you is definitely going to knock your confidence, and so you don't feel like you want to dress yourself up nicely, and so your husband further loses interest, it s a vicious circle. I know the title of this thread is 'My husband does not come near me', but let's forget about your husband for a moment. Do you get time to yourself in the house when you know your husband won't be home and won't disturb you? If so, why not try dressing up at home, purely for yourself, just to feel nice. Try to rebuild your confidence. Why not get dressed up before standing before Allah to pray, making the intention that your efforts are for Him. The Prophet s.a.w. advised us to take care of ourselves and our appearance, and there are hadith which describe him reprimanding muslims if he saw them to be dressed shabbily. Obviously as women we are not to display our beauty willy-nilly, exposing ourselves and what not, but there is no harm in wanting to present ourselves nicely. I can semi-relate to you where you say you have no desire to buy new clothes. I hate clothes shopping because I feel the pressure of trying to find what my husband will like, and it makes me feel like not bothering because I am scared of making an effort and then causing myself further pain and disappointment if he still doesn't approve. Do you think your situation might be similar? If so, build yourself step by step. Maybe you have some friends you meet for lunch? Dress up nicely to meet up with them. Although you should be wanting to please your husband, take that pressure away from yourself for now. Make du'a that Allah strengthens the bond between you both, and inshaAllah over time, if your self confidence increases it make become natural for you to want to look nice for your husband. But until then, I think you need to focus on doing this for yourself and for your own happiness. May Allah make it easy for you.