brokenhearted
New Member
Salam brothers and sisters,
I am here because I am desperate for advice. I am broken hearted and my life seems dark and pointless right now…
I married the love of my life last year, in April. We had known each other 5 years and one day he came to me and professed his love and that he needed to be with me. I was excited because I felt the same about him. He lived in Kuwait and I was in the states working as a teacher. My family agreed and we went to the masjid and did our nikah.
In May of 2013, I left my job, sold all my belongings and car, and said goodbye to my family and friends. I moved to Kuwait. I am Turkish, he is Kuwaiti, I thought because we are both Muslim I would be ok living there.
I was hit with culture shock--his family scrutinized my every action and I quickly became suffocated. My husband and I began to fight a lot over small things. He was never home--he would leave me in our apartment by myself. I did not want to be clingy, but I was alone in a foreign country and I was terrified. I knew culture would be an issue sometimes but honestly, I believe that people should not retain a closed mind about culture because we are one ummah.
He would ditch me to make plans with his friends. Come home 6 o'clock in the morning. Block my calls, block my texts…sometimes he would go to Bahrain on weekends and not contact me all weekend. I would become SO angry I would blow up at him. I tried so hard to be patient, be understanding, be rational…but enough was enough. I had to say something. He accused me of being disrespectful. I wasn't trying to be, I was just tired of it. At one point, he moved back into his family's home for a month and left me all alone….I did everything by myself. I had a car, I made friends, I had a job….but at the ned of the day all I wanted was to be with the man I loved and it was too much to ask. His family did not contact me for the month he was at home and I was so sad. Although I did not want them in every aspect of my life, I did love them and want a relationship with them.
Anyway, in January, I had a winter break from my job in Kuwait and decided it would be best to "take a breather" and come visit my parents in the states. As soon as I got here, I called my husband in Kuwait to tell him I arrived safely and he told me to not come back.
One week later: he cancelled my residency, sold my car, packed all my stuff and sent it to me, and told me he had filed for divorce in the Kuwaiti courts. I was blindsided. I lost everything. He even took $15,000 and refuses to return it. He even threw our cat onto the streets!!!
I've been crying my eyes out since I got back, pleading him to stop doing this and all he can say is "move on, it's over". As if I never existed! I am not divorced in the states and he insists that I file divorce papers or else he will not pay me. I told his mom about the way he was acting and she defends him.
I have prayed istikhara, I have made dua, I have tried everything. I am just so sad and I feel like I cannot go on. I lost everything. My parents cannot help me too much financially because they gave me what they could afford to help us in our marriage.
On top of that….we had a walima planned for April 2014 and we had to cancel it. I lost all my money because HE did not invest in it and said he cannot be held responsible.
InshaAllah someone can give me insight…… I am so desperate. I am so sorry for rambling, its just I have nobody to turn to.
I am here because I am desperate for advice. I am broken hearted and my life seems dark and pointless right now…
I married the love of my life last year, in April. We had known each other 5 years and one day he came to me and professed his love and that he needed to be with me. I was excited because I felt the same about him. He lived in Kuwait and I was in the states working as a teacher. My family agreed and we went to the masjid and did our nikah.
In May of 2013, I left my job, sold all my belongings and car, and said goodbye to my family and friends. I moved to Kuwait. I am Turkish, he is Kuwaiti, I thought because we are both Muslim I would be ok living there.
I was hit with culture shock--his family scrutinized my every action and I quickly became suffocated. My husband and I began to fight a lot over small things. He was never home--he would leave me in our apartment by myself. I did not want to be clingy, but I was alone in a foreign country and I was terrified. I knew culture would be an issue sometimes but honestly, I believe that people should not retain a closed mind about culture because we are one ummah.
He would ditch me to make plans with his friends. Come home 6 o'clock in the morning. Block my calls, block my texts…sometimes he would go to Bahrain on weekends and not contact me all weekend. I would become SO angry I would blow up at him. I tried so hard to be patient, be understanding, be rational…but enough was enough. I had to say something. He accused me of being disrespectful. I wasn't trying to be, I was just tired of it. At one point, he moved back into his family's home for a month and left me all alone….I did everything by myself. I had a car, I made friends, I had a job….but at the ned of the day all I wanted was to be with the man I loved and it was too much to ask. His family did not contact me for the month he was at home and I was so sad. Although I did not want them in every aspect of my life, I did love them and want a relationship with them.
Anyway, in January, I had a winter break from my job in Kuwait and decided it would be best to "take a breather" and come visit my parents in the states. As soon as I got here, I called my husband in Kuwait to tell him I arrived safely and he told me to not come back.
One week later: he cancelled my residency, sold my car, packed all my stuff and sent it to me, and told me he had filed for divorce in the Kuwaiti courts. I was blindsided. I lost everything. He even took $15,000 and refuses to return it. He even threw our cat onto the streets!!!
I've been crying my eyes out since I got back, pleading him to stop doing this and all he can say is "move on, it's over". As if I never existed! I am not divorced in the states and he insists that I file divorce papers or else he will not pay me. I told his mom about the way he was acting and she defends him.
I have prayed istikhara, I have made dua, I have tried everything. I am just so sad and I feel like I cannot go on. I lost everything. My parents cannot help me too much financially because they gave me what they could afford to help us in our marriage.
On top of that….we had a walima planned for April 2014 and we had to cancel it. I lost all my money because HE did not invest in it and said he cannot be held responsible.
InshaAllah someone can give me insight…… I am so desperate. I am so sorry for rambling, its just I have nobody to turn to.