Need some encouraging words!

[butterflymuslima]

Salam sister!

I am a revert also and I have 5 children. You should explain your concerns to the family members and see if there is an alternative visitation that could be arranged. Your daughter is to young now to understand Christmas, but what about next year and the next. If you give in know it will only be expected of you again next year and you will have the same problem every year. Trust me it will get worse. Soon your child will start begging! So maybe since they are off this weekend for probably 4 days one of those days could be visiting you and your daughter and doing something unrelated to Christmas. Just a suggestion, I know it's hard! You know what I've noticed with my family is this: my mother knows how important Islam is to me and she would never ask my children to her house for Christmas, we do other things at different times, she also spends the most time with my children!!! My children's fathers mother on the other hand, never spends any time with them all year and at Christmas and makes a real fuss over their participation?! Makes it easy to ignore her!Insha'Allah everything will work out for you. My favorite saying: Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay its not the end!

 

[Bawar]

Assalamu alaikum sister!

I suppose some brothers and sisters have provided infromation based on islamic rules. I will just add a few words from myself.

Islam is for all humanity and it can't reach others if muslims isolate themselves form the rest.

As long as you don't engage in unislamic riligious rituals i don't see any reason why you shouldn't continue relationship with them.

Alienating them from their grandchild is not fair and I don't think it will give them a good impression of Islam.

By the way, congratulations and welcome to Islam. May the blessings of Allah be with you.

Allahu akbar

 

[Aaqib Raseem]

I hope everything works out for you

 

[Munawar]

Thank you all so much!

I sent an email back, and they mentioned that they're interested in Islam and why I chose it! :blackhijab: They still hope to see my daughter over the holidays because they don't play up any religious aspects of Christmas, so I'll need to explain my views to them a little more. However, they only live 1 1/2 hours away, so it's not like holidays are the only time we see them.

:salam2:
Congratulations on your reversion sister. Allah will give you reward for everything you do for his sake. InshaAllah.

I may be a minority on this forum in my opinion regarding this matter, but I would like to explain it.

First of all I differenciate between participating in a Christmas party at a friend's house or as a general festival and between going to the parent's house specially when they invite and insist.

Parents have a special place and have special rights in Islam. Their commands are superior to all commands except Allah's (SWT) and his messanger's (SAW). Meaning a Muslim is obliged to obey their commands if those commands do not conflict with the commands of Allah (SWT) and his Messenger .

If your parents are interested in knowing about Islam then this becomes even more beneficial that you attend that dinner, because this would also be a good dawah opportunity.

The only thing you need to tell them is that you wouldn't participate in anything which is against Islam, like hugging non-mehram males, or drinking wine and eating pork etc and those other things they may be doing which is haram in Islam. And that you wouldn't accept any "Christmas" presents, but you could accept if they are just presents given by parents and brother and sisters with no christmas greetings attached. You need to make it clear to them once you are there they cannot change or alter these rules.

If they agree with it and you do make it clear to them that you are not going for a Christmas dinner but just an ordinary dinner, then, you will not be doing any haram thing. IMHO.
And when Allah commands you to obey your patents then I personally do not see any harm in attending a dinner at your parent's house.

But I wouldn't recommend you to go to your friend's Christmas party or your neighbour's christmas party. But parents are different and Islam gives them a whole lot of rights so their case is different.

 

[eemaan1]

:salam2:

i found this on kalamullah.com

To You Be Your Celebrations, And To Me Mine


.........Imitating Non-Muslims in Celebrations

The evidence from the Qur'aan and the Sunnah is quite clear in that eids are distinctive features for every nation. Allaah ta'ala said (what means): To every people we have appointed [its own] rites and ceremonies. [al-Hajj (22) 34/67] And it was shown in the previous section that eids are purely religious occasions for Muslims.

As discussed earlier, Allaah ta'ala and His Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam have warned us against following or imitating non-Muslims in things which are characteristic of their religions or beliefs. This is more emphasized in the case of their eids or occasions, which always hold some religious or ideological non-Islaamic meanings, and on which the kuffaar indulge in many evil practices. Differing from them on such occasions includes the following:

Staying completely away from the kuffaar's celebrations. This means to avoid places where they perform their holiday practices and to avoid participating with them in such practices (Christmas and New Year parties, Halloween trick-and-treat nonsense, Thanksgiving celebration and dinner, Fourth of July fireworks, First of April lies, birthday parties, anniversaries, etc).

Avoiding doing, ourselves, things which pertain to the practices of the kuffaar on such occasions (allowing Christmas trees in our homes or offices, inviting our friends to a Turkey dinner on Thanksgiving day, allowing members of our families to purchase or borrow Halloween attires, holding birthday or anniversary parties for our family members, etc). Avoiding to congratulate the kuffaar on their occasions. For, How can we bring ourselves to congratulate or wish people well for their disobedience to Allaah ta'ala? Thus expressions such as: happy Thanksgiving, happy birthday, happy New Year, etc, are completely out. The only possible happiness is in true imaan! Avoiding to celebrate our eids in a way which is meant to copy the ways of the kuffaar (mingling and shaking hands between men and women, improper cover for both genders, etc). Avoiding to initiate certain occasions or eids in imitation to theirs (the Day of the Earth, the Day of Iowa Muslims, etc.)

.........


its a long article soi copy pasted what i thought was relevant inshaallah.

 

[labagel]

I guess I should clear this up -- these aren't my parents. My daughter's father and I are no longer together, and these are HIS parents. So, I'm not related to them in any way, not even through marriage.

I think I have things figured out now, so thank you all for your input! (We're just going to visit at some point in December that's not around Christmas, so it'll just be like any other visit they've had before.)

 

[AAminAA]

Thank you all so much!

I sent an email back, and they mentioned that they're interested in Islam and why I chose it! :blackhijab: They still hope to see my daughter over the holidays because they don't play up any religious aspects of Christmas, so I'll need to explain my views to them a little more. However, they only live 1 1/2 hours away, so it's not like holidays are the only time we see them.

:salam2: :ma: sister, may Allah bless you and give you a strong imaan insha'Allah ! It's great to hear that from you, may Allah guide them to the straight path also. Ameen ! Get them involved in your daughters life as much as you can, because family matters are very strong in Islam. No matter if they were your inlaws, they are still grandparents of your daughter. Maybe as much more they talk to you they will realize the truth better. You just be strong in your faith and Allah and He will help you out sister. Be a good ambasador of Islam, be always nice, gentle, and understanding, show them the real face od Islam trough your actions and behave. I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart. Keep us updated !

 

[Sister Kawthar]

:salam2: :ma: sister, may Allah bless you and give you a strong imaan insha'Allah ! It's great to hear that from you, may Allah guide them to the straight path also. Ameen ! Get them involved in your daughters life as much as you can, because family matters are very strong in Islam. No matter if they were your inlaws, they are still grandparents of your daughter. Maybe as much more they talk to you they will realize the truth better. You just be strong in your faith and Allah and He will help you out sister. Be a good ambasador of Islam, be always nice, gentle, and understanding, show them the real face od Islam trough your actions and behave. I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart. Keep us updated !

yeah am with u sis
dear sis millions of congratulations for being a muslima
well dear you can take your daughter to her grandrarents before christmas its better so they won`t ask you about her in christmas
may allah help u dear

 

[Munawar]

I guess I should clear this up -- these aren't my parents. My daughter's father and I are no longer together, and these are HIS parents. So, I'm not related to them in any way, not even through marriage.

I think I have things figured out now, so thank you all for your input! (We're just going to visit at some point in December that's not around Christmas, so it'll just be like any other visit they've had before.)

:salam2:
This is wonderful sister ... You have made a good decision. :ma:
May Allah's mercy be upon you all the time. Ameen!

 

[whitesmoke]

salam ,congratulation
FOR CONVERTING TO ISLAM