Patience will always be rewarded
Assalam alaikum sister,
Like you, my children were angry with me. They even did disown me for a while. The only one that supported my decision was my husband, now ex husband. I gave up a 15 year marriage to a very good man when I chose Islam. But he was also my best friend and respected my love of Islam and desire to be a Muslim so we parted as best friends with deep respect for each other. My sons however were another story. They were both grown and on their own already. My younger was the most angry. He would hardly even speak to me for months. He was angry that I divorced my husband and moved away from my home and started my life over in a different city. But when I made the decision to become a Muslim, I made the choice to love Allah above all things and to make the sacrifices that would go with it. It hurt deeply losing my sons, but I decided to try and just ride it out and be patient.
I told them that no matter how much they were angry with me, I would always love them and always be there when and if they needed me. I kept the door open to them. In time, they began to see that I was still their mom, just a much happier mom than they had ever known before. They came back slowly, so did my mother who also had turned away.
Looking back on it now, my first public outing with my son is actually humorous to me. He came to my home in dress uniform, army special forces, along with one of his friends (6'2" with waist length dreadlocks). When I came down the stairs to go to eat in a restaurant, I was in hijab. He said "noway.....noway in HELL am I going out with you like that." I simply told him that I wear the hijab, period, or I don't go out. He was upset but he reluctantly went out with us. It was quite a site, a soldier, a Muslimah, and a oversized Jamaican looking dude in a Mexican restaurant. We stopped the conversation when we entered then became the topic of conversation. Now we all laugh about it.
It was a hard first year for me. But now, I am rewarded for my patience. I see my children more now than I ever did before Islam. I am closer to both of them. When we all get together to eat, they always make sure to have halal food for me and my husband of one year. They still invite my ex husband and he and my new husband are on great terms. Alhamdulillah, I could not be happier now.
Be patient sister but be very firm. Remember, you are the mom. make it clear that becoming a Muslim did not make you become a lesser person, but a stronger one instead. As a Muslim, you should demand and expect respect from your children. Show them by example compassion, love, respect and the beauty that Islam has brought to your life. If your daughter complains about what you wear, simply remind her that you have not always approved of what she wore either, but like you had to, she needs to get over it.
Time is the key. And making and keeping contact with good Muslim people will give you the strength to get through this trial. Allah will test us. He will test our sincerity and our faith. But always remember, he wil never give you anthing that you can not get through. If Allah has brought you to it, Allah will get you through it. For now, you have found a new family to keep you strong here. The people that helped me through the hard times have become my dear and precious extended family. I will never meet most of them in person but they will always have a piece of my heart. You will look back soon and see the same thing.
brother