Please help and advise

[sal12]

Assalamu alaikum,

Oh people! something is wrong with me! I know Allah said that He tests us with things we love but whenever I'm making dua and I'm asking Allah to help in whatever hardship I'm going through I just feel that He won't help me because He has said that He is going to test us so I just feel like waiting for that test to be over and there's no need to make dua. I just don't know how to have faith in Him. I have more fear than faith and I've even asked Allah to increase my faith too. My problem is that I don't know how to have faith in Allah. It's sooooooo wrong and i dont know what to do! I know that there is a hadith that says something like Allah doesnt help those who say I have made dua and things arent getting better. And I dont say this to anyone anyway it's just in my heart even though I HATE thinking like this I just wish I had more faith. How does one get that?

Also recently I've been getting depressed over the smallest things. I wasnt like that before. Honestly something is wrong with me! Would something like this happen if someone's sins had increased? Please advise me on what I should do with both situations; the lack of faith and trust I have in Allah astaghfirullah and the depression. Please help!

 

[Almeftah]

On the authority of Abu Harayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Allah the Almighty said:
I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.

(1) Another possible rendering of the Arabic is: "I am as My servant expects Me to be". The meaning is that forgiveness and acceptance of repentance by the Almighty is subject to His servant truly believing that He is forgiving and merciful. However, not to accompany such belief with right action would be to mock the Almighty.

It was related by al-Buhkari (also by Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn-Majah).

for more: http://www.iiu.edu.my/deed/hadith/other/hadithqudsi.html

 

[sal12]

i know all of that and I still have low faith in Allah even though I pray and read Quran and have fear. It's like I cant be bothered making dua and when I do I don't feel a connection because of my weak faith. And I get depressed from little things that wouldn't even bother me before. It's doing my head in.

 

[Al-Salam]

salamo 3alaikoum.

i know all of that and I still have low faith in Allah even though I pray and read Quran and have fear. It's like I cant be bothered making dua and when I do I don't feel a connection because of my weak faith. And I get depressed from little things that wouldn't even bother me before. It's doing my head in.

sister

whenever you do pray or make dua, please try to mention other people aswell than only your self. instead of "Allah help me be this, let me have this", try also mentioning other muslims even if you don't know them. i hoop god will increase your faith, but please don't give your faith up because of your hard time in life. it will get better insh'allah. jjust dont turn to your faith because of having a hard time. turn to your faith everytime, in good and in bad.
salam wa rahmatallah wa baraktou.

 

[ummsami89]

do muslims have nervous breakdowns or they shouldnt because they are muslims?

Salam alaikum. We are having so many problems with our 18 year old son. This is the last 9 weeks of school. he is a senior. he is "tired" of school. He has flunked all his classes except 1. if he graduates, he will be very lucky. Anyway, we are having so many problems with him, besides that. We have interference with my mother, nonmuslim. she is saying he needs psychological help and is on the brink of suicide. I wouldnt tell my daughter her son is on the brink of suicide. Thats too much for a mother to handle i think. My husband and I are beside ourself with grief. I feel like Im losing my mind due to worry and stress. He is having a haram life as well. We have done the best we can. I feel like i am having a nervous breakdown half the time. I have to worry about my son, his problems, dealing with my mother......and her opinions and such. see, she and my husband have never gotten along.....she is old school. christian. my husband is muslim and arab. I became muslim. she blames him for that. etc etc. i pray regularly. do my best as a muslim sister. i dont know what else i can do. i come on the website for comfort often to hear lectures and quran. jazakallahkhair.
Sister Jamie

 

[gazkour]

Assalamo alikom wa rahamato Allah wa barakato

Dear borthers and sisters,

I think what you're experiencing at the moment is exactly what Shaytan wants for the believers: not 'feeling' close to Allah, not 'feeling' our prayers or du'as, and just 'feeling' worthless, meaningless, hopeless. etc.etc.

I personally think our relation with Allah (subhana wa taala)should not be just about feelings. As humans we fluctuate, we change, one day we feel, next day we don't, one day we like, next day we dislike, one day we feel right, next day we feel wrong. Moreover we have the cursed Shaytan whose only purpose is to discourage us in different and countless manners.

Brothers and sisters, Shaytan verily knows that the strongest weapon we have is our prayers and du'as. Islam unlike modern Christianity, is not about 'emotions', it's about patience.

Patience is not just waiting calmly in a traffic jam or bank queue, or being tolerant with others. Patience is seeing what the eyes cannot see, is seeing the sunshine while being hit by a storm, is believing what Allah (subhana wa taala) and His Messenger (sallalahu alehi wa sallam)has told us to believe......even if at this particular time we are not feeling it! It's knowing that our prayers have been listen, but that the answer that we are expecting will arrive just if Allah knows is the best for us.

Allah has said that He verily answers the one who supplicates, but Allah taala will do it in His own time, not ours, when we are ready, not when we think we are ready...maybe we will never be ready for some things. Allah knows best.

We have to be careful to fall into the "Hollywood" trap ( or crap should I say?)
Where everything happens magically, where someone doing ok is not good enough....no, you need more! Where having a familiy, health, car, house, job, faith, make people 'depressed'. Where contentment is never fulfilled, where we must have what we want NOW!...may Allah forgive us!

Think about our brothers and sisters that are literally suffering hunger, illness, malformations, war, humilliation, death of family, not having a job, not able even to contemplate having a career,they have fear...real fear. Ask them what patience is. Or think about all the Profets (peace be upon them all) and their tough life as well.

If you are being test, there's nothing wrong with you. There would be something wrong if you fail the test, that's for sure.

Let's not wait until Allah taala takes something precious away from us, so we can 'have faith'. Let's not give our du'as away to Shaytan, so he can laugh at us.

May Allah guide and forgive us all.

Assalamo aliko wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam aleikum
We all have difficulties in life ,its never perfect for anyone .But remember those first muslims and the life of the Prophet(PBUH) and the lives of those who suffering all over the world ,compare your life to them .Do we have the right to complain after that?
Shaytan is trying to make u depressed ,dont let him win .We have to keep making dua and remembering Allah SWT all the time ,not only when we feel depressed or only when we have problems ..or only when we need something ...
May Allah make it easy on u ....
This is lecture about patience .Recommend to watch it ...

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waaleikum salam

 

[Almeftah]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله
stop your dua, and start reading guran more than you usually do, and mention Allah more in everything you do, when you sleep, when you wake up, when you ride your car, when you eat or drink... etc.

here's this Hadith Qudsi, i couldn't find a translation for it, so if you can read arabic, or find someone who can translate it for you:

"من شغله ذكري عن مسألتي أعطيته أفضل ما أعطي السائلين"
الراوي: - - خلاصة الدرجة: صحيح - المحدث: الزيلعي - المصدر: تخريج الكشاف - الصفحة أو الرقم: 3/220

my own translation is: "(referencing to Allah) says: he who is occupied from asking me by mentioning me, i will give him better than those who ask".
and mentioning Allah icludes reading quran and saying dua of Worshiping, like what you say when you go to sleep, when you wake up, when you eat or dring, or when you enter your house like "Bismi Allah (in the name of Allah)"...etc.

 

[tabaria]

:salam2:

This may sound odd. But if you think your faith is too weak and are concerned about it. It sort of applies strong faith.

I may be completely wrong, but it seems people who are truly weak in faith don't care and/or don't realize it.

You seem to care and are working to increasing it. Also the post about patience was very good.

 

[IslamIsLight]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله
stop your dua, and start reading guran more than you usually do, and mention Allah more in everything you do, when you sleep, when you wake up, when you ride your car, when you eat or drink... etc.

here's this Hadith Qudsi, i couldn't find a translation for it, so if you can read arabic, or find someone who can translate it for you:

"من شغله ذكري عن مسألتي أعطيته أفضل ما أعطي السائلين"
الراوي: - - خلاصة الدرجة: صحيح - المحدث: الزيلعي - المصدر: تخريج الكشاف - الصفحة أو الرقم: 3/220

my own translation is: "(referencing to Allah) says: he who is occupied from asking me by mentioning me, i will give him better than those who ask".
and mentioning Allah icludes reading quran and saying dua of Worshiping, like what you say when you go to sleep, when you wake up, when you eat or dring, or when you enter your house like "Bismi Allah (in the name of Allah)"...etc.

salam aleikum
we should never stop making dua ...

waaleikum salam

 

[IslamIsLight]

:salam2:

This may sound odd. But if you think your faith is too weak and are concerned about it. It sort of applies strong faith.

I may be completely wrong, but it seems people who are truly weak in faith don't care and/or don't realize it.

You seem to care and are working to increasing it. Also the post about patience was very good.

salam aleikum
no its not odd. there is hadith regarding this i think ,I will post it if i find it inshaAllah..

waaleikum salam

 

[A Kashmiri]

Sister,

You should read the Last Ruku of Chapter 2 Ayah 282 onwards to Ayah 86 with meaning and you should read it often. I too had very tough time in life when nothing seems to go well, however I hold the rope of faith, tried my best at all times to do my best to come out of the situation i was in. Alhamdullilah today I am without any major problems or issues i had and i a living happily and Thanks to my merciful lord - Allah.

As Allah says in Quran, that he doesnt put a harder test on anyone more than one can take it and believe me there are people with more harder tests than we have or had.

Also i would request you to understand the recitations of Surahs you recite in Salah particularly Surat ul Fatiha. I have found that if you recite Surah in Salah wiht understanding your faith increases with each Salah.

You should also make Duas- of Prophet Yunus when he was in the belly of the whale with understanding - Rabana Zalamn Anfusana waelam tagfirlana watarhamna lana kunana minal khasireen....

And lastly your sincere efforts to have deep faith in Allah itself shows that you are closer to Allah as the other sister pointed out.

I will pray for you inshallah in my prayers.

 

[sal12]

Jazakallahu khayran everybody! u all really really helped. everytime i feel I have weak iman im just going to find this thread and read all the posts insha'allah because ur advice was really beneficial. May Allah bless u all!

Ma'asalama