Please, i need your advice...

[Asmin]

Salam, sister and brother
I'll appreciate if you can give me some ideas or your opinion about the things i had been confused and i don't know what to do. Ok! Let me tell your first what is it. In a few weeks ago, i entered to the relationship which is not permitted in the islam, as i know. We are not doing a bad thing, we just talking on the phone and texting but i think is not allowed to have a communication with a guy. But he wants to date with me and i told him that dating is against the Qur'an. I knew it when i read some articles on the online that says dating is more tempting than you think. So, he is still persuading me to have a date with him for just sometimes. And then now i decide to break up with him as soon as possible so that no bad things will happen between us. HOW CAN I TELL HIM THAT I WANT TO STAY SINGLE SINCE ALLAH ENCOURAGE US TO STAY SINGLE FOR SUCH A SPECIAL OCCASION.?

Your sister in Islam,
Asmin

 

[tombstone]

assalamu alaikum warahamatullahi wabarakatuhu,

just plainly and boldly say NO to him.. and stop talking to him or text messaging him. if u know that its not allowed in islam then what r u waiting for. no matter how u say the answer will be the same and that is NO.

My suggestion will be if u r able then get married as soon as u can

 

[proud muslim]

Assalamu alaikum sis,

well i can understand what ur sayin sister as sometimes shaitan tries to convince us that some actions arent against islam although they are.. and sometimes we fall for it!!..but we are all human beings and all of us sin.. so what differentiates a good muslim from a bad one is not the fact that a good one sins lesser than a bad one..no ..its the fact that a good muslim immediately repents doin the sin and makes tauba unlike a bad one..so my advice for u here sister is to be a good muslim as u are apparently and make tauba and repent doin this sin so that Allah wud forgive u and that is by cutting any contact with this guy...by the way i wud like to tell u a fact about that kinda guys...if u keep on rejecting and ignoring his offers he wont keep running after u for a long time and eventually he'll find himself another girl ..so keep strong sister i know its hard but keep in mind that if u leave something for Allah he will reward u a much better thing ..and believe me it happens.. ask me about it!!..so when u cut ur contact with this guy..i wud like u to send a post to this forum tellin us how Allah rewarded u a better thing as im sure isAllah it'll happen ...may Allah bless u and protect u and guide us all to his true path..ameen

Assalamu alaikum

 

[American Muslim]

Assalamu alaikum

Sister,
it is easy for these types of situations to arise. The first question is this : is the man you are texting muslim? If he is, he should already know these things. If not, you should just tell him, online friendship is fine, but "dating" or "meeting for coffee and a biscuit" are not allowed.

Tell him "Even if you were to become muslim; being alone with a member of the opposite sex (that you are not immediately related to) is forbidden. This is to avoid taking another step into a forbidden relationship, which leads to another easy step, then another..."

Non-muslims have different morals and social rules than us. To the kaffir, coffee can lead to holding hands innocently across the table. Then smoldering looks, cuddling, until eventually, carnal relations. This is the normal dating pattern to the kaffir. Kaffirs know next to nothing about muslim women. If you agreed to this first meeting, he would be upset and not understanding of why you did not take the next step (and the next, and the next...) .

It is best to avoid the temptation sister. Do not be confused, you would be walking with a shaitan. Do not be decieved! If none of that makes sense, tell him that Allah (swt) has strictly prohibited muslim women to marry non muslims. Marriage talk is the quickest way to rid yourself of the kaffir! All you will hear through your mobile is the sonic boom of the air filling in the place where he used to be a moment ago.

Like I said, if the man is muslim, he should know all of this. Suggest he talk to your wali and see if the two of you are compatible for marriage.

Amriki Muslim out

 

[virtualeye]

AssalaamuAlaikum,

Actually it was the weakness on your part that you started to have some imaginations about that person and kept on communicating with him. It is much much better to talk to someone in person is you want to marry. Creating imaginations on the net is very dangerous.

Simply tell him for the final time that you are not going to meet and then do NOT respond and dont look back. He will get away after few tries. Or better send him some your fake horrible picture so that he stops thinking about you, .


Wasslaaam,
VE

 

[visionusman]

Sister,
it is easy for these types of situations to arise. The first question is this : is the man you are texting muslim? If he is, he should already know these things. If not, you should just tell him, online friendship is fine, but "dating" or "meeting for coffee and a biscuit" are not allowed.

Tell him "Even if you were to become muslim; being alone with a member of the opposite sex (that you are not immediately related to) is forbidden. This is to avoid taking another step into a forbidden relationship, which leads to another easy step, then another..."

Non-muslims have different morals and social rules than us. To the kaffir, coffee can lead to holding hands innocently across the table. Then smoldering looks, cuddling, until eventually, carnal relations. This is the normal dating pattern to the kaffir. Kaffirs know next to nothing about muslim women. If you agreed to this first meeting, he would be upset and not understanding of why you did not take the next step (and the next, and the next...) .

It is best to avoid the temptation sister. Do not be confused, you would be walking with a shaitan. Do not be decieved! If none of that makes sense, tell him that Allah (swt) has strictly prohibited muslim women to marry non muslims. Marriage talk is the quickest way to rid yourself of the kaffir! All you will hear through your mobile is the sonic boom of the air filling in the place where he used to be a moment ago.

Like I said, if the man is muslim, he should know all of this. Suggest he talk to your wali and see if the two of you are compatible for marriage.

Amriki Muslim out

I liked the way u called yourself amriki at the end there. A|ny way I do have a question. If I am introduced (online or through phone)to a muslim girl for the purpose of exploring marraige, but she doesn't have a wali (even though she does strictly speaking, but he does not know her that well as they have only known each other for a very short time), am i then allowed to meet her to find out more about her?

 

[Peace2u]

Salam alai kum sister,

The answer is get married to him, at least then you know you will not be sinning.

Salam

 

[visionusman]

Salam alai kum sister,

The answer is get married to him, at least then you know you will not be sinning.

Salam

haste leads to waste

 

[Mabsoot]

haste leads to waste

:salam2:
Yes to avoid the Mess -- that ryhymes too!

My advice to you sister is to cut off contact with him, spend time to learn about Islam , have patience.. and never rush into anything.

You got to learn what is best qualities that a man should have, i.e. he should be good Muslim, praying 5x a day, fears Allah, has good personality, has good manners, -- look at his family and his relationship with them, - - just take your time, and he should only meet you when you have mahram (male guardian like your brother or father) with you.


wasalam