please make dua 4 me

[ineedhelp]

:salam2:
i am married since almost 3 years. i am the second wife. i agreed to marry because i was in a real bad situation(money and family problems)i have no family. my husband is a good muslim, but i cannot handle sharing him anymore, in the begining i was so stressed and tired of problems so it seamed like a good idea, but as the time goes by day by day im feeling worst alhamdulillah. i feel that im trapped. some times i want to leave but where should i go? i have no one. i really dont know what to do. no words can discribe the pain im feeling every day, im crying almost every day.i really love him, but its a torture every day. every time this thought of him and his wife i feel im getting crazy. please make some dua for me i really dont know what to do

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam sister,

Mashallah polygyny can be very hard when it comes to jealousy and heartache. You have a few options, you can speak to your husband and decide if you can continue to be a second wife. Divorce is halaal (though despised by Allah) so there is always that option. I feel sad or you that you agreed to polygyny simply out of fear of being alone. I too am without family or financial help so I understand a bit of that fear.

I will make Dua that Allah swt will give you guidance and also ease your burden.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[Nichole]

Asalaamu Alaikum sister,

Insha'Allah I will make dua for you that Allah makes your situation easier. Perhaps you can talk to your local shiekh for advice on how to feel better in what Allah has chosen for you or maybe talk to other Muslimahs that are in plural marriage?

How is your relationship with your co-wife? And are you practicing Islam such as night prayers and fasting?

Nichole

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,


First welcome to TTI. From what I am able to understand is you love your husband. You have a good relationship. You are hurting because you are feeling a little jealous. You are scared. It seems your husband loves you as well. You do not mention children.
His first wife must be a gracious woman. She too has the same pain. She out of her generousity allowed him to have your love. When he is with you she is alone.
Why not befriend her. She would be your best advocate. In a deep sense she loves you, too.
Can you change your sadness to a state of grace. You have a husband. You have love. There are many women who are alone. Really alone.
Please explain to us what you mean by feeling trapped. Do you work or are you a student? Do wish to have children.
I get the feeling that you are young.
Please understand that I am not trying to be judgemental. We want to help you make the best decision. We need a little more information.

You will be in my duas.

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

Assalamu Alaykum

I don't mean to offend you sis but have you ever wonder what the first wife is feeling? Think about you are stress and sad yet you are only the second wife. But what about the wife who first loved him? The wife who had to watch the man she loves marrying another woman? I don't know about you but to me when a guy marrys no matter who you are you will feel like you are not good enough for them. You should think about it. I would advise you to think about the first wife everytime you feel this. I will of course keep you in my duas insha'Allah. Insha'Allah everything will work out for the best.

 

[*FatimaFilsan*]

:salam2:
You said that you love your husband(and i am assuming he is good to you and hasn't done anything wrong to you) from this I am concluding that the problem is not with them but with you. Since the problem you have is your jealousy of your husband's other wife, what you need to work on is yourself.
You need to know that it is human to be jealous but that doesn't that it is okay for you to be jealous. Jealousy is a disease and instead of fueling it you need to exterminate it by been happy for your husband and his first wife. Part of being a believer(mumin) is that he/she is happy for his brothers and sisters. I know it might not be easy for you to be happy for your co-wife but if you put your mind into it and you try each day to practice been happy, in no time you will be able to have this quality. Give it a try.
Also, sister try to work on your marriage and don't jump into divorce, make it your last resort. And since this is the only family you have, make the best of it and know that Allah will reward you for your patience.