pls help me make right choice!

[umabdallah2]

Asalamu aleikum!pls help me sis and brothers in islam ,i have been married for 14 years and i have 2 kids!well my husband was a christian before he married me and as he said converted and we got married in the islamic way.I lived with him for 2 years and later went to live in his home town me and kids alone for 11 years now,we see each other once a year or some times twice,we stay with him for 2 months wen we go,but im worried that he is not converted from his heart,and i asked for my divorce!!im so depressed,and i have been praying so hard!!!i have no feelings for him,pls help me!!!!!!!!!

 

[umabdallah2]

Asalamu aleikum!pls help me sis and brothers in islam ,i have been married for 14 years and i have 2 kids!well my husband was a christian before he married me and as he said converted and we got married in the islamic way.I lived with him for 2 years and later went to live in his home town me and kids alone for 11 years now,we see each other once a year or some times twice,we stay with him for 2 months wen we go,but im worried that he is not converted from his heart,and i asked for my divorce!!im so depressed,and i have been praying so hard!!!i have no feelings for him,pls help me!!!!!!!!he says he will pray now but im not sure its from his heart!as we live far apart and he drinks and never fasts or prays!

 

[hana*]

oh sister, thats such ashame, but why did you both not live together initially? why do you and youre children see him very little? give him a chance, maybe he will start praying and stop alcohol..dont give up and pray for him.

i hope Allah helps you find a way out of this and eases youre situation

 

[drimi]

Esselamu aleljkum
I advise you to call him to live with you and your children.Make dawah to him.
Explain islam and tell him what's halal what's haram.How about your children
do they pray and practise islam? May ALL-LLAH help you.
Wes-selamu alejkum

 

[umabdallah2]

yes my kids practise islam and they dont know anything about christianity,they pray and fast im always behind them!he works in another country and wen he knew i want a divorce he said ok if u wanna come live here but wat im scared is if i go live with him it will be wrong then my kids will see him drinking and its gonna be ok for kids to c that drinks r fine with us!I have lived far from him to realize i have no feelings for him,cause i raised my kids alone though he provides for them,but he was not forced to live far from his family!I always cried wanted to go back to him and he always says no,now wen he said ok after 11 years i cant live with him!!And im sure he will not convert from his heart!!Pls God help me!!!

 

[shichemlydia]

dou3ae

salam alikoum sister,
your situation really brings pain and tears to the eyes, just pray honestly so that may allah swt will bring you someone who is actually better than this man who has no responsibility towards his wife and family. i pray that allah swt will find you a relief from this trouble, ameen.
wa salam alikoum

 

[Mabsoot]

Wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Sister it is important that you go to the largest Mosque in your area which deals with issues of Marriage and divorce and that can give you the right advice. inshaAllah.

If he does not care about Islam, does not pray, if he drinks alcohol, leads such a blatantly immoral life, then divorce is the best thing to do. In Islam, you would have a good reason to divorce him yourself.

Make Istikhara and do this for Allah's sake, I suggest you go and talk to a wise Imam about it. One that is experienced and trusted in this field. Dont be depressed, inshaAllah things will be fine.

This is not something you can get real help with over the internet.

 

[Almaas]

Asalaamualaykum,

Sister I think people have already given you some great advice. Indeed your situation is both sad and difficult. If you want to know how to act next, then I'd strongly advise you do istekhara to make your final decision, before or if, you're considering divorcing him.

If your children see him drinking or acting unislamically they may get confused and deem it acceptable.

I hope it all works out for you InshAllah.

May Allah SWT ease your confusion and guide you and your family. Ameen.

Walaykumasalaam

 

[umabdallah2]

asalamu aleikum!thank u all so much for advising me,i feel better,cause im living in a foreign country away from the kids dad and my family!so it makes me happy to know i have concerned muslims ready to help me and others,jazakumullah kheir!

 

[Vizard91islam]

yes my kids practise islam and they dont know anything about christianity,they pray and fast im always behind them!he works in another country and wen he knew i want a divorce he said ok if u wanna come live here but wat im scared is if i go live with him it will be wrong then my kids will see him drinking and its gonna be ok for kids to c that drinks r fine with us!I have lived far from him to realize i have no feelings for him,cause i raised my kids alone though he provides for them,but he was not forced to live far from his family!I always cried wanted to go back to him and he always says no,now wen he said ok after 11 years i cant live with him!!And im sure he will not convert from his heart!!Pls God help me!!!

Salam Aleykum my muslim sister
i don't know if your problem is resolved by now...but reading your story is a problem that i would like to help resolving, he become muslim whats a good thing...Mushallah
But ofcourse muslim can do bad things to, i would ask you not to hate him, and you don't have to regret anything even if your devorced or devorcing..., but as you say he drinks, and it would be indeed a bad example to your children. Even knowing its hard to let go someone you loved or love, you still should try it, i say this because your relationship and marrige wont stay as it was like before (as you noticed) he wont make your life easier (but i can't judge, only Allah can) drinking is an ongoing problem...specially at his age..its been said in the islam, if you can't live your life as a good muslim than find a way to do it, like going away from home if it has to...but sister, don't let this eat you from the inside, it's just one of those things that do happen in this world, dont blame anyone, specially not yourself! i'm a boy of 18, and i admit that i don't know what you feel (not 100%) and i never been married...which leaves me without experience in that sort life. But i do understand you a 100%! my anwser is Yes, you should leave him (devorse) its no use living a life as a woman with a indecent husband...may Allah forgive him and help you in your difficult times...i hope this atleast helped you out for a bit...you can always talk with me about what ever you like...everyone here is your sister and brother Insha Allah! Salam

 

[Vizard91islam]

asalamu aleikum!thank u all so much for advising me,i feel better,cause im living in a foreign country away from the kids dad and my family!so it makes me happy to know i have concerned muslims ready to help me and others,jazakumullah kheir!

o i see you resolved that problem...i'm happy for you! Alhamdulilah
never give up the hope in Allah (swt)!!

 

[talhha]

Asalamu aleikum!pls help me sis and brothers in islam ,i have been married for 14 years and i have 2 kids!well my husband was a christian before he married me and as he said converted and we got married in the islamic way.I lived with him for 2 years and later went to live in his home town me and kids alone for 11 years now,we see each other once a year or some times twice,we stay with him for 2 months wen we go,but im worried that he is not converted from his heart,and i asked for my divorce!!im so depressed,and i have been praying so hard!!!i have no feelings for him,pls help me!!!!!!!!!

sister you can leave him and find other real muslim : you can ask the other sister to search a muslim husband