problem girl?? help

[autumn]

about two or one months ago, this new girl enters my class.. i think she will be a nice person..but first she takes my friends.. talks to them about all this rubbish and it turns out they like her.. she thinks she is all that... and she always talks to the boys..also she tells my friends things about her boyfriend who is also in the same class..things like we went out and this and he kised on the cheek :astag:and she told him you just broke your fast.. all this rubbish that dont even make sense... and i dislike her because of all these things, she has no respect, but also i dont like to wish her bad things as i wont like people to wish me bad things.. also there might be a fight between us but that's very unlikely and also that wont be a good thing.. anyway im not close to her but we share a class unfortunately and instead of talking to me (thanks that does not often happen ) she talks to the boys.. i still talk to my classmates though..

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

:salam2: i would not be rude to the girl but i would distance myself from her. it sounds like there would be nothing beneficial from initiating a friendship with her for now. concentrate on trying to be the best you can be and think of the Hereafter and all this day by day trivia will not affect you in any way, Insha Allah.

i used to let negative behaviour from girls at work really bother me for the longest time (i am not talking about Muslims but American non-muslims) but then i realized that i don't need to worry about what others are doing or saying but just to try to be the best muslim i can be, for the sake of Allah.

your sister in Islam,

 

[amirah80]

about two or one months ago, this new girl enters my class.. i think she will be a nice person..but first she takes my friends.. talks to them about all this rubbish and it turns out they like her.. she thinks she is all that... and she always talks to the boys..also she tells my friends things about her boyfriend who is also in the same class..things like we went out and this and he kised on the cheek :astag:and she told him you just broke your fast.. all this rubbish that dont even make sense... and i dislike her because of all these things, she has no respect, but also i dont like to wish her bad things as i wont like people to wish me bad things.. also there might be a fight between us but that's very unlikely and also that wont be a good thing.. anyway im not close to her but we share a class unfortunately and instead of talking to me (thanks that does not often happen ) she talks to the boys.. i still talk to my classmates though..

Salam Alaikum Sister

This is the part (bold) that concerns me and inshallah this is not jealously. I know from what you said that the girls behavior may be inappropriate. But, try not to see the bad in her but help either guide her to the truth if non-muslim. If muslimah then help here get back on the straight path. But, you said she took your friends and they like her. Do not worry about that if they are truely you friends they will remain your friends. But, it is ok for friends to interact with other people. It seems as if you dislike her behavior but would like to be her friend as well because of the comment you made "instead of talking to me". Just take it easy new students normally get alot of attention. After a while the new student will become a regular student and all of the hype will subside, inshallah.

Wasalam Ukhti Amirah80

 

[autumn]

thank you all..
im not rude to her.. and the weird thing is, sometimes she'll talk to me and sometimes its very different.. its not jealousy because really i would not want to be like that..
i also said instead of talking to me, because you see we are the only girls in the class and plus we are in an islamic school.
yes, i'd like to distance myself away..
but i like hanging out with my seniors because sometimes we have free classes at the same time and i get to konw those girls more but with me and my classmates, its different because we have seperate classes (also we are few in number in the class)

 

[IbnAdam77]

:salam2: respected sister...

My advice is just to ignore her activities and try to tell her the good manners in Islam. Remembrance will surely benefit to those who believe. The most important thing is to keep a 'distance' from her although you talk her in a polite manner. May be then she will come back to the truth inshaALLAH.

Moreover, try to make her pray by giving advice and asking to go with you when you go for prayers. Because 5 prayers are the best medication for the disease of Munkar and Fah'shaa. I know this could be difficult to start. But when you try, it will work inshaALLAH.

Remember she needs for us although she do not ask. So make sincere dua always.

Please do not think I am defending her bad acts.

wassalam

-brother IbnAdam-

 

[amirah80]

thank you all..
im not rude to her.. and the weird thing is, sometimes she'll talk to me and sometimes its very different.. its not jealousy because really i would not want to be like that..
i also said instead of talking to me, because you see we are the only girls in the class and plus we are in an islamic school.
yes, i'd like to distance myself away..
but i like hanging out with my seniors because sometimes we have free classes at the same time and i get to konw those girls more but with me and my classmates, its different because we have seperate classes (also we are few in number in the class)

Salam Sister

Alhumdulilah it is not jealousy. But, I did not mean jealous in the sense you wanted to be like her. But, more so in the sense she took your friends being it was the first thing you stated about her. But, Alhumdulilah its not jealously. Inshallah everything will work out for you in this situation.

Wasalam Amirah

 

[tauruschick666]

salams.. i really think you should talk to this girl.. tell her what shes doing is wrong.. i know it maybe hard on you, but in religion you are asked to advice the wrong.. & try to change them to the right path! if shes not willing to change, advice your classmates about hanging out with her & ask them to be cautious..! surely you'll be rewarded for trying!

 

[autumn]

:salam2: respected sister...

My advice is just to ignore her activities and try to tell her the good manners in Islam. Remembrance will surely benefit to those who believe. The most important thing is to keep a 'distance' from her although you talk her in a polite manner. May be then she will come back to the truth inshaALLAH.

Moreover, try to make her pray by giving advice and asking to go with you when you go for prayers. Because 5 prayers are the best medication for the disease of Munkar and Fah'shaa. I know this could be difficult to start. But when you try, it will work inshaALLAH.

Remember she needs for us although she do not ask. So make sincere dua always.

Please do not think I am defending her bad acts.

wassalam

-brother IbnAdam-

yes.. we do have zuhur prayers together in our musallah but that would be something difficult to do as almost everyone is like that,... these are the kind of people who actually pray (am not sure about 5 times a day) and fast (she fast even for fun to lose weight)
no i dont think you are defending her bad acts.

 

[autumn]

salams.. i really think you should talk to this girl.. tell her what shes doing is wrong.. i know it maybe hard on you, but in religion you are asked to advice the wrong.. & try to change them to the right path! if shes not willing to change, advice your classmates about hanging out with her & ask them to be cautious..! surely you'll be rewarded for trying!

but she is already like that and most people think its normal anyway..
also my classmtes dont mind her.. but ya i should try..

 

[Skywalker]

As-slamo'alaikum,

Hey kid!! You need not worry about her. Just be yourself with her. N you know according to me you are a very nice human being so I think her presence won't affect your relationship with your other classmates.

May be you will be able to bring some positive change in her lifestyle....InshAllah.

 

[justcelebre]

Salam,

Probably ignoring her might be the best decision? I think the more she sees that you're frustrated by her acts, the more it'll fuel her to continue doing it. You probably have to be patient but insyaAllah that patience will be paid off. I'm sure after awhile when she sees that you have no reaction to her misdeeds, she'll stop it.

Grieve not when others blame and disparage you:

"they will do you no harm, barring a trifling annoyance" (Quran 3:111)
"... and be not distresed because of what they plot" (Quran 16:127)
"...and harm them not. And put your trust in Allah" (Qun 33:48)

 

[autumn]

As-slamo'alaikum,

Hey kid!! You need not worry about her. Just be yourself with her. N you know according to me you are a very nice human being so I think her presence won't affect your relationship with your other classmates.

May be you will be able to bring some positive change in her lifestyle....InshAllah.

i aint kid.....no the presence does not affect my relationship with my classmates...


InshaAllah i will but it does not matter.

 

[autumn]

Salam,

Probably ignoring her might be the best decision? I think the more she sees that you're frustrated by her acts, the more it'll fuel her to continue doing it. You probably have to be patient but insyaAllah that patience will be paid off. I'm sure after awhile when she sees that you have no reaction to her misdeeds, she'll stop it.

Grieve not when others blame and disparage you:

"they will do you no harm, barring a trifling annoyance" (Quran 3:111)
"... and be not distresed because of what they plot" (Quran 16:127)
"...and harm them not. And put your trust in Allah" (Qun 33:48)

yes that is true... and also i dont care because people like that cant be changed easily...but i care about my group of friends and this girl has joined in the group...my school has became half islamic now as parents send their corrupted kids to come here to be good muslims..but when you have a lot of them it has no affect..sometimes i have to share a book with her and sometimes we do say hi...also one of my friends (she is a top student and we live in the same area) said that WE are not the normal people.. that we are weird and people like this new girl is normal..really could not agree with that.. but we might be different in the sense that once or twice we had a long argument about politics and one of the girls had a different point of view..and not a good one either.. something about america.. and it got long that when me and my other friend went to pray zuhur and we came back, the thing was still on....and so it slowly ended.

 

[autumn]

Also i have to add this... when im talking about this girl i do have to think that im not like that...because if im talking about someone (not in the sense of backbiting) and im just like that, then that would not be nice at all..

there are more important things to talk about than this, i should realize that
(only sometimes when things get neccessary to talk bout)