PROBLEMS WITH OBSERVING ITEKAAF! :(

[MusLiMah_Kubra]

:salam2:

I might have posted this to IslamQA but then it will be long till i get an answer.
I have been trying to observe itekaaf from the last 4 Ramadans but there are certain situations i am unable to decide about. I did sit for Itekaaf last Ramadan but had to discontinue it after 3 days due to falling seriously ill and i still have regrets for that.

1) Firstly, the mosques here do not have arrangements for women to observe itekaaf. So here is no chance of doing itekaaf in a mosque. So my dad and uncle advised me to observe it at home, in my room, as there is no other option. So it is permissible they say.

2) I share my room with my mom and sister (its quite small with not enough space). So though i do some sort of partition to it (me & my sister did it last Ramadan) , there is a lot of disturbance as my family does in and out of the room inspite of being told to not disturb us.

3) This one's more upsettint to me : My mom remains ill most of the time. Though i know she can manage doing the household stuff alone, i know it puts a lot of burden on her and i dislike that. (I want my mom do to lots of Ibadah during those days, though she prays regularly , she doesnt seriously take to readng Qur'an, doing Dhikr etc. so am not sure if given time she will utilize it doing Ibadah or not, but regardless of that i cant see her getting all exhausted after all the chores.) So can i help my mum with some of the work (that needs me coming out of the room and going around the whole house) without indulging in any vain talk , while being in Itekaaf.??
Or if i cant then should i not observe Itekaaf so that i can be a support to my mum?

4) My sister (she is pregnant) is here with us, so me & mom have been taking care of her. She is deciding to oberve itekaaf too, so if she does, we have to take care of her...And so i will have to be looking after her...how do i do this while in itekaaf?

5) I am feeling jealous ( i dont want to be, but cant help it ) of my sister , as she has been observing it for pas tfew Ramadans while i couldnt because of all that mentioned above . I have been thinking all the while to persuading her not to observe itekaaf, i do not want to think like this, am shooing away all the evil thoughts but they keep coming. Every time she sat for itekaaf i didnt because i couldnt leave my mom alone. I am confused if what i did was right.

I am really confused as Itekaaf doesnt allow being social, and if doing above comes under impermissible while in Itekaaf.

Please Advice. Jazakallahu Khairan.

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

assalamu alaykum

Can a woman observe itikaf at home , what if she has to cook.

Praise be to Allaah.

I’tikaaf is only valid if done in the mosque, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And do not have sexual relations with them (your wives) while you are in I‘tikaaf (i.e. confining oneself in a mosque for prayers and invocations leaving the worldly activities) in the mosques”

[al-Baqarah 2:187]

Men and women are equal in this regard.

Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni:

A woman has the right to observe i‘tikaaf in any mosque, and that is not subject to the condition that it be a mosque where prayers are performed in congregation, because that is not obligatory upon her. This was the view of al-Shaafa’i.

She does not have the right to observe i'tikaaf in her house, because Allaah says “while you are in I‘tikaaf (i.e. confining oneself in a mosque for prayers and invocations leaving the worldly activities) in the mosques”, and because the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked him for permission to observe i’tikaaf in the mosque, and he gave them permission.

Al-Nawawi said in al-Majmoo’ (6/480):

It is not correct for a man or a woman to observe i'tikaaf anywhere except in the mosque.

This is the view favoured by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen in al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 6/513

And Allaah knows best.
IslamQ&A


sister, have the right niya, look after your family, do the housewok and do all this to please Allah! InshaAllah you'll be rewarded

jazakillahu khayran

 

[sobia112]

dear sister i appreciate your feeling but as you know its all up to GOD its HIS decision that what we are going to do please leave it on GOD he will decide whether you are going to sit in aitekaf or going to perform hajj or ummrrah if its the time every thing will go smoothly and there will be no hindrance in front of you i su ggest if there is no one to look after your family you can finish your house hold before azaan e asr and after saying your asr pryer u can sit in a calm corner and do your ibadat till azaan e maghrib GOD will surely give reward for you good deeds.
jazakillahu khayran