may Allah help you brother....what type of confusion? please explain.
lets know that this life is a test from Allah. some are given more happiness and some not. for every tension and sadness...our sins are forgiven.
this life is for few uncertain decades only, the life after death is the life indeed!
bro, make duas to Allah, seek His forgiveness, pls also recite Quran with translation, ponder over pleasures of jannah and pain in fire.
if we will see people below us and not above us..we will feel more satisfaction.