relationship outside marriage in Islam

[cOuNtInG]

:salam2:

this matter has never been explained truthfully and with concrete proofs. i just wana know if a male-female relationship outside marriage and non-muhram is allowed in Islam.

even if the couple doesnt go out dating, they are too concern to each other, taking care of the other's well being, like buying goods for the girl or escorting her to and from place to place. and what about messaging each other or chating on the internet? even if they are not meeting face to face, but there is still kind of interaction btwn them and feelings are involved. they will also wish good luck and so on to each other, or asking whether she/he is in good health or not. sometimes they also dont claim themselves as being a couple, saying that they dont recognize coupling. but what they do is almost like coupling. and how if male-female friends also do the same thing? even without involving any feelings? :astag:

i just dont know how to deal with them and how i can advise them since i myself doesnt know what's right or wrong in this context. please help me.

 

[Qur'an&Sunnah]

:salam2:

In the Qur'an:

Surah Bani Israel, Chapter 17 Verse 32:

And go not nigh to fornication: surely it is an obscenity. And evil is the way.

In this ayah is explains that we should not even go near it meaning in a relationship, even though you are not dating etc etc the Shaytaan can make an evil suggestion and by Allah we do not know when we will give in to them, therefore Allah says do not even go near it in order to protect yourself, and surely Allah always speak the truth.

In Surah An Nur, Chapter 24 Verses 30-31:

30. Say to the believing men that they lower they gaze and restrain their sexual passions. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is Aware of what they do.

31. And say to the believing women that they lower their gaze and restrain their sexual passions and do not display their adornment except what appears thereof. And let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms. And they should display their adornment except to theirhusbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or their brothers, or ther brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or those whom their right hand possess, or guileless male servants, or the children who know not women's nakedness. And let them not strike their feet so that the adornment that they hide may be known. And turn to Allah all, O believers, so that you may be successful.

In this ayahs it states that a man should lower his gaze and restrain his sexual passions. How can you do so if you are in a relationship? These are the human needs, therefore Allah tells the man to restrain it unless they are with their wives. And in the second ayah it shows you who a women can display her adornment to: meaning her hair, or without jilbaab and hijaab. And in it it says nothing about her boyfriend because "boyfriends" are non-muhram and they are haraam. As you can see these two ayahs coincide with the first from Surah Bani Israel, and Allah tells you to stay away from these things and do not even go near them.

To add to that a Muslim must follow the Prophet (SAW) because Allah says in the Qur'an that in him you will have or find the BEST example, did Prophet Muhammad (SAW) ever have a relationship with other than his wives, but with a woman of his Ummah? Of Course not, and we should follow his example and listen to Allah in these ayahs

If I have said anything good for you then it is from Allah and if I had made a mistake it was from my own, and may Allah Forgive Me. Insha'Allah I hope the words of Allah is enough for you to change this thought of relationships and Insha'Allah you find a spouse rather than a man/woman in a relationship.

:salam2:

 

[gazkour]

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

To be honest when you mention that you're not sure about these things being right or wrong is the part that should be solved first, enshaAllah
.
Dear cOuNTInG, I think the first step here is reading more about Islam and learning what is Halal or Haram.

Unfortunately you'll always find wrong things happenning, everywhere you look, everywhere you go and as muslims we should do our best to stop it, but in order to do this correctly and tactfully we have to get the right knowledge first. You coming here and asking for advise is the correct step and that's to appreciate.

May Allah guide us all.

Assalamo Alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

 

[cOuNtInG]

how about feelings??

yes, alhamdulillah i understand now that any relationships (r/s) with non-muhram is wrong except trough marriage. thank u for your replies.

just one more matter, about the chating and messaging or even confessing our feelings to the person that we love, are they allowed? im only 21 and at my age in my country we are still considered young and not matured or ready enough to fulfill the commitments in marriage. the problems are jobs and money for nafkah, and also the responsibilities as students and etc.

i think love is so subtle and hard to avoid. i can say that my friends very much understand that r/s like what i've meant earlier are sinful. but most of them cant really resist the feelings they've kept to the non-muhram. thus, they just confess to each other about their feelings. its not that they want to have a r/s, its more to like confirming that the person they love is also feeling the same. they are still too young to get married, but sill they just dont want to loose each other. so they always kept in touch by chating on the net or messaging. although no r/s or bond is made, but they know that they love each other, and they are working towards marriage.

in this context, are they doing the right thing?