should i tell everything to my friend?

[ahmed_indian]

:salam2:,

suppose:

my friend is very sensitive person. if someone says anything to him, he gets upset and angry. so i dont want to tell him wht others say about him.

but he says that if i dont tell him wht others are speaking of him, i am not his good friend.

wht should i do? should i inform him wht ppl are saying to me about him?

i told him that i dont want to tell him as it makes him upset. but he doesnt agree with me.

 

[dilek]

Brother as I think it is better to say your friend, these people dont think good things for you or they think nice things.. I mean give only general meaning and dont tell who says what one by one.. because it isnt a good behaviour to bring what others speak about.. we shouldnt pass the words between people.. however for sure we should inform our friends for goodness and badness around them.. Only there is a soft balance we should care..

I hope my explaination isnt obscure.. Inshaallah you ll continue your good friendship with him much more stronger..

 

[massi]

Assalam Alaikom

Don't tell him any thing , if he asks you , tell him :" Go and ask them "!!!

 

[Tabassum07]

I would advise that at first gradually let your friend know some of the things people are saying about him. But don't mention names, because that would be backbiting. And don't give him all the insults at once, it'll frustrate him. Rather, try and talk to him about changing his behaviour. You may say that people will always say things good/bad about others, and no one can please everyone at once. That we shouldn't care what others are saying, but to tolerate everything with patience. Try and harden up your friend to bear with things others say and to have patience.

 

[ahmed_indian]

Assalam Alaikom

Don't tell him any thing , if he asks you , tell him :" Go and ask them "!!!

it may bring an end to the relationship between friends.

 

[ahmed_indian]

Brother as I think it is better to say your friend, these people dont think good things for you or they think nice things.. I mean give only general meaning and dont tell who says what one by one.. because it isnt a good behaviour to bring what others speak about.. we shouldnt pass the words between people.. however for sure we should inform our friends for goodness and badness around them.. Only there is a soft balance we should care..

I hope my explaination isnt obscure.. Inshaallah you ll continue your good friendship with him much more stronger..

I would advise that at first gradually let your friend know some of the things people are saying about him. But don't mention names, because that would be backbiting. And don't give him all the insults at once, it'll frustrate him. Rather, try and talk to him about changing his behaviour. You may say that people will always say things good/bad about others, and no one can please everyone at once. That we shouldn't care what others are saying, but to tolerate everything with patience. Try and harden up your friend to bear with things others say and to have patience.

jazaak Allah khair for advices.
but the problem is when a person doesnt understand that i am not telling wht others say for the sake of goodness. if a person thinks that u r hiding things bcoz u dont love/like him, the things gets quite tough.

may Allah make it easy for us.

 

[IbnAdam77]

wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

Brother in these situations, the treatment from different people will be different. If I say personally, in such cases, I do not say those things as said by others. Rather, I say directly to that friend as something I say. All my friends will know that I am such a person that will not talk about the negatives of then with others, but tell DIRECTLY TO THEM. Its my strategy. My friends will know that. People may think its a bad way or a good way. I do not care.

So if I say "Go and ask them!" when they ask me repeatedly to find what others say regarding him infromt of me, my friends (any one) will not say, "hey! is it? get away then. You are not my friend from now". At the very first step, I try my best not to let others backbite in my presence. But it happens rarely, in some cases where I could not stop them.

So brother study your friend's behaviour and tell him that you will be you, and will try your best for the betterment of the friendship.

As I said while starting, it depends person to person, time to time, region to region etc.

Hope it helps.

wassalam 'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

 

[safiya58]

:salam2:

I agree with IbnAdam77.

As a brother/friend you should not only give positve feedback to your friend but also tell him his negative sites... it is for his betterment. if he is sensitive then speak to him accordingly!

the prophet (saw) said the muslim is a mirror to the muslim! and this is exactly what a mirror is doing. showing you your bad sides and your good sides and that.... without even saying a word....!