Ibrahim_nur
Junior Member
Sinful Parents| Sheikh `Abd al-Rahmân b. Ibrâhîm al-`Uthmân, professor at al-Imâm Islamic University|
Allah has commanded us, above everything else, to worship Him alone without partner. Along with this great injunction, He commands us to honor our parents.
Allah says: “And when We made a covenant with the children of Israel: You shall not serve any but Allah and (you shall do) good to (your) parents…” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 83]
Likewise, Allah commands us to give Him thanks – and to show thanks to our parents: “Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is your (final) goal.” [Sûrah Luqmân: 14]
`Abd Allah relates the following discussion that he had with the Prophet (peace be upon him) [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (527) and Sahîh Muslim (85)]:
I asked Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him): “What deed is the best?”
He replied: “Offering prayers at their appointed times.”
I asked: “Then what?”
He replied: “Honoring your parents.”
I asked: “Then what.”
He said: “Striving in the path of Allah.”
If we understand that honoring our parents is a religious obligation, then we must also know that ill-treating them is something prohibited. It is one of the gravest of major sins.
Allah says: “Say: Come I will recite what your Lord has forbidden to you-- (remember) that you do not associate anything with Him and show kindness to your parents, and do not slay your children for (fear of) poverty-- We provide for you and for them-- and do not draw nigh to indecencies, those of them which are apparent and those which are concealed, and do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden except for the requirements of justice; this He has enjoined you with that you may understand.” [Sûrah al-An`âm: 151]
Also, the Prophet (peace be upon him) once said: “May his nose be smitten. May it be smitten. May it be smitten.”
When the Companions asked him about whom he was speaking, he said: “Whoever had parents who lived to old age – one or both of them – but he did not enter Paradise.” [Sahîh Muslim (2551)]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) gave an expression of contempt – “may his nose be smitten” – to refer to a person who, in spite of having the opportunity of great blessings available to him by caring for and honoring his elderly parents, he still did not attain Paradise.
The command to honor our parents is not something limited to pious Muslim parents. A Muslim must honor his parents even if they are wanton sinners. He must continue to obey them in that which is lawful. It makes no difference whether these parents are Muslims or non-Muslims. He must obey them in what is good and lawful.
Allah says: “And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him. And his weaning was in two years. (Hear the command), ‘Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is your (final) goal.’ But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not: Yet bear them good company in this life, and follow the way of those who turn to Me in repentance. In the end, the return of you all is to Me, and I will inform you of what you used to do.” [Sûrah Luqmân: 14-15]
Asma’ bint Abî Bakr tells us the following regarding her mother [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2620) and Sahîh Muslim (1003)]:
My mother, who was an idolater during the time of Quraysh’s covenant with the Prophet (peace be upon him), came to visited me. I asked the Prophet (peace be upon him): “My mother is coming with a desire to see me. Do I have to have a good relationship with my mother?”
He replied: “Yes, you do.”
If a son or daughter sees one of his parents perpetrating a sin, it is the child’s duty to call that parent to righteousness and to dissuade that parent from sinful behavior. However, the child must exercise humility in addressing his parents. He may not address them sternly or with harsh words. He must not ill-treat them in any way. He should sincerely beseech Allah to guide them.
If the child finds that his words cannot convince, then he needs to seek out people who his parents will listen to, people they have a high regard for and whose views they will listen to.
This all comes under Allah’s command: “Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious” [Sûrah al-Nahl: 125]
Indeed, one’s parents have the greatest right upon their child to be called to righteousness in ways that are best and most gracious.
Ahmad b. Hanbal said:
If someone sees his father committing a detestable deed, he should speak to his father without exhibiting any harshness or ill-treatment. He should not allow any coarseness to enter his speech. If he finds he cannot do so, then he should leave off addressing the matter. The father is not like some stranger.
One thing a child must certainly never do is shun his parents because of their sinfulness. Yes, at times, boycotting a sinful person is a beneficial means of prohibiting them from sin. However, it is not an option that one can use with one’s parents, even if one feels that it may be effective.
I ask Allah to guide us and our parents to a way that is straight. May He forgive us and our parents, and may he reward them the best of what parents are rewarded on account of their children. Indeed, Allah is most gracious and merciful.
Allah has commanded us, above everything else, to worship Him alone without partner. Along with this great injunction, He commands us to honor our parents.
Allah says: “And when We made a covenant with the children of Israel: You shall not serve any but Allah and (you shall do) good to (your) parents…” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 83]
Likewise, Allah commands us to give Him thanks – and to show thanks to our parents: “Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is your (final) goal.” [Sûrah Luqmân: 14]
`Abd Allah relates the following discussion that he had with the Prophet (peace be upon him) [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (527) and Sahîh Muslim (85)]:
I asked Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him): “What deed is the best?”
He replied: “Offering prayers at their appointed times.”
I asked: “Then what?”
He replied: “Honoring your parents.”
I asked: “Then what.”
He said: “Striving in the path of Allah.”
If we understand that honoring our parents is a religious obligation, then we must also know that ill-treating them is something prohibited. It is one of the gravest of major sins.
Allah says: “Say: Come I will recite what your Lord has forbidden to you-- (remember) that you do not associate anything with Him and show kindness to your parents, and do not slay your children for (fear of) poverty-- We provide for you and for them-- and do not draw nigh to indecencies, those of them which are apparent and those which are concealed, and do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden except for the requirements of justice; this He has enjoined you with that you may understand.” [Sûrah al-An`âm: 151]
Also, the Prophet (peace be upon him) once said: “May his nose be smitten. May it be smitten. May it be smitten.”
When the Companions asked him about whom he was speaking, he said: “Whoever had parents who lived to old age – one or both of them – but he did not enter Paradise.” [Sahîh Muslim (2551)]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) gave an expression of contempt – “may his nose be smitten” – to refer to a person who, in spite of having the opportunity of great blessings available to him by caring for and honoring his elderly parents, he still did not attain Paradise.
The command to honor our parents is not something limited to pious Muslim parents. A Muslim must honor his parents even if they are wanton sinners. He must continue to obey them in that which is lawful. It makes no difference whether these parents are Muslims or non-Muslims. He must obey them in what is good and lawful.
Allah says: “And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him. And his weaning was in two years. (Hear the command), ‘Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is your (final) goal.’ But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not: Yet bear them good company in this life, and follow the way of those who turn to Me in repentance. In the end, the return of you all is to Me, and I will inform you of what you used to do.” [Sûrah Luqmân: 14-15]
Asma’ bint Abî Bakr tells us the following regarding her mother [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2620) and Sahîh Muslim (1003)]:
My mother, who was an idolater during the time of Quraysh’s covenant with the Prophet (peace be upon him), came to visited me. I asked the Prophet (peace be upon him): “My mother is coming with a desire to see me. Do I have to have a good relationship with my mother?”
He replied: “Yes, you do.”
If a son or daughter sees one of his parents perpetrating a sin, it is the child’s duty to call that parent to righteousness and to dissuade that parent from sinful behavior. However, the child must exercise humility in addressing his parents. He may not address them sternly or with harsh words. He must not ill-treat them in any way. He should sincerely beseech Allah to guide them.
If the child finds that his words cannot convince, then he needs to seek out people who his parents will listen to, people they have a high regard for and whose views they will listen to.
This all comes under Allah’s command: “Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious” [Sûrah al-Nahl: 125]
Indeed, one’s parents have the greatest right upon their child to be called to righteousness in ways that are best and most gracious.
Ahmad b. Hanbal said:
If someone sees his father committing a detestable deed, he should speak to his father without exhibiting any harshness or ill-treatment. He should not allow any coarseness to enter his speech. If he finds he cannot do so, then he should leave off addressing the matter. The father is not like some stranger.
One thing a child must certainly never do is shun his parents because of their sinfulness. Yes, at times, boycotting a sinful person is a beneficial means of prohibiting them from sin. However, it is not an option that one can use with one’s parents, even if one feels that it may be effective.
I ask Allah to guide us and our parents to a way that is straight. May He forgive us and our parents, and may he reward them the best of what parents are rewarded on account of their children. Indeed, Allah is most gracious and merciful.