Staring

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

:salam2:

Good question. I am always curious who is suppose to initiate Salaam. I usually just say it to everyone.

Sis,

There is nothing wrong with a man greeting a non-mahram woman with salaam, without shaking hands with her, if she is elderly, but he should not greet a young woman with salaams when there is no guarantee that there will be no fitnah (temptation). This is what is indicated by the comments of the scholars, may Allaah have mercy on them.

Imam Maalik was asked: Can a woman be greeted with salaam? He said: With regard to the elderly woman, I do not regard that as makrooh, but with regard to the young woman, I do not like that.

Al-Zarqaani explained the reason why Maalik did not like that, in his commentary on al-Muwatta': Because of the fear of fitnah when he hears her returning the greeting.

In al-Adaab al-Shar'iyyah (1/370) it says: Ibn Muflih mentioned that Ibn Mansoor said to Imam Ahmad: (What about) greeting women with salaam? He said: If the woman is old there is nothing wrong with it.

Saalih (the son of Imam Ahmad) said: I asked my father about greeting women with salaam. He said: With regard to old women, there is nothing wrong with it, but with regard to young women, they should not be prompted to speak by being made to return the salaam.

Al-Nawawi said in his book al-Adhkaar (p. 407):

Also:

If there is a group of women then a man may greet them with salaam, or if there is a group of men, they may greet a woman with salaam, so long as there there is no fear that any of the parties may be tempted.

Abu Dawood (5204) narrated that Asma' the daughter of Yazeed said: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed by us woman and greeted us with salaam." Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

And al-Bukhaari (6248) narrated that Sahl ibn Sa'd said: "There was an old woman of our acquaintance who would send someone to Budaa'ah (a garden of date-palms in Madeenah). She would take the roots of silq (a kind of vegetable) and put them in a cooking pot with some powdered barley. After we had prayed Jumu'ah, we would go and greet her, then she should offer (that food) to us."

Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath:

Concerning the permissibility of men greeting women with salaam and women greeting men: what is meant by its being permitted is when there is no fear of fitnah.

Al-Haleemi was quoted as saying: Because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was infallible and protected from fitnah. Whoever is confident that he will be safe from temptation may greet (women) with salaam, otherwise it is safer to keep silent.

And al-Muhallab is quoted as saying: It is permissible for men to greet women with salaam and for women to greet men, if there is no fear of fitnah.

And Allaah knows best.

See Ahkaam al-'Awrah wa'l-Nazar by Musaa'id ibn Qaasim al-Faalih.

Islam Q&A

 

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

Regarding staring:

Jareer ibn ‘Abdullaah said: "I asked the Messenger of Allaah (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) about an accidental glance at a woman. He commanded me to turn my gaze away." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said: This is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. See al-Sunan, 2700).

Commenting on this hadeeth, al-Mubaarakpoori said: " ‘Accidental’ means that his gaze fell on a non-mahram woman unintentionally. ‘He commanded me to turn my gaze away’ means that he was not to look a second time, because the first glance was not by choice and would be forgiven, but any further glances would be counted as sin, and he should heed the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)…’ [al-Noor 24:30]"

The Messenger of Allaah (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) said: "O Ali, do not follow a glance with another, for you will be forgiven for the first, but not for the second." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2701; see Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7953)

In al-Tuhfah, he said: "The words ‘do not follow a glance with another’ mean do not look again after the first glance. ‘You will be forgiven for the first’ means that you will be forgiven if the first glance was unintentional, and ‘but not for the second’ means that because the second glance was by choice, it will be counted against you."

So it is clear that deliberately looking at a non-mahram woman and continuing to look after a first accidental glance is haraam. It is forbidden to look at any part of her body, whether you think she is beautiful or not, whether it provokes sexual desire or not, whether it is accompanied by evil thoughts or not, and whether it leads to immoral deeds or not.

We ask Allaah to protect us from all haraam deeds. Allaah is the One Who guides to the Straight Path.



Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

 

[jabba]

:salam2:

When I am out and about on campus and enjoying the beautiful campus, I find that Muslims tend to stare a lot. Is it because there is relief that there is another Muslim on campus..Sorry brothers but it is mostly the men that do it. I don't know I was just taught growing up never to stare at a person...What are your personal experiences/opinions with this if you do not live in a predominently Muslim area. When you see a Muslim do you stare in order to make a greeting or just thinking I wonder who that person is....Sorry for the silly question.


Sarah

:salam2:

Whenever I wear my hijab people stare, and it's not mostly non Muslims, it's always Muslims....for me it's mostly women though. I'm always nervous to say salam, because I'm kinda nervous about what their reaction might be. So I just look back and smile, still no salam, people here are very rude. Even among other Muslims I've noticed hijabi women walking past eachother and not even acknowledging eachother.:astag: , we really live in a ignorant rude society

 

[jabba]

I'm used to it, non-muslims and especially muslims...

I noticed 3 types of muslims: those when you pass by them, they just look down and don't give salaam and don't reply to it.
The other type, just stares at you, usually from a long distance...
and the third, smiles and gives salaam...

Salam
hmm now I am beginning to understand

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

:salam2: my dear sister jabba,

I hope u are in good health & imaan

Try always to give a "good reason" for your sister in Islam. Maybe she's shy or nervous just like you...

 

[jabba]

:salam2: my dear sister jabba,

I hope u are in good health & imaan

Try always to give a "good reason" for your sister in Islam. Maybe she's shy or nervous just like you...

Salam

Thanks but this happens all the time, not just a few times and not just with sisters of a certain age, I smile at my sisters when I see them, but I have never recieved a smile or salam. I can't defend staring

 

[Leila1]

Salaam

I have not yet taken the plunge to cover. However, whenever I see my fellow sisters I smile and greet them, sometimes I get dirty looks or ignored. More often then not I'm left with bewilderment like I've said something wrong. I don't normally stare when I see sisters, if I do it's unintentional and always in admiration of the Hijab. Alhamdulillah, soon I will be there too

 

[Southrn_Muslimah]

.

:salam2:



I knew someone would come with the answer This answers a lot.

Regarding staring:

Jareer ibn ‘Abdullaah said: "I asked the Messenger of Allaah (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) about an accidental glance at a woman. He commanded me to turn my gaze away." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said: This is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. See al-Sunan, 2700).

Commenting on this hadeeth, al-Mubaarakpoori said: " ‘Accidental’ means that his gaze fell on a non-mahram woman unintentionally. ‘He commanded me to turn my gaze away’ means that he was not to look a second time, because the first glance was not by choice and would be forgiven, but any further glances would be counted as sin, and he should heed the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)…’ [al-Noor 24:30]"

The Messenger of Allaah (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) said: "O Ali, do not follow a glance with another, for you will be forgiven for the first, but not for the second." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2701; see Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7953)

In al-Tuhfah, he said: "The words ‘do not follow a glance with another’ mean do not look again after the first glance. ‘You will be forgiven for the first’ means that you will be forgiven if the first glance was unintentional, and ‘but not for the second’ means that because the second glance was by choice, it will be counted against you."

So it is clear that deliberately looking at a non-mahram woman and continuing to look after a first accidental glance is haraam. It is forbidden to look at any part of her body, whether you think she is beautiful or not, whether it provokes sexual desire or not, whether it is accompanied by evil thoughts or not, and whether it leads to immoral deeds or not.

We ask Allaah to protect us from all haraam deeds. Allaah is the One Who guides to the Straight Path.



Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

 

[Southrn_Muslimah]

I have not yet taken the plunge to cover. However, whenever I see my fellow sisters I smile and greet them, sometimes I get dirty looks or ignored. More often then not I'm left with bewilderment like I've said something wrong. I don't normally stare when I see sisters, if I do it's unintentional and always in admiration of the Hijab. Alhamdulillah, soon I will be there too

:salam2:
InshaAllah you will be there That is crazy you get dirty looks. As Muslims, we are suppose to be polite. Maybe they do not know you are Muslim because I remember someone telling me that if a Non-Muslim gives you Salaam you are not suppose to return it. I think though it differs on scholars. I always appreciate if a Non-Muslim says Salaam to me. It is like wow someone who is not afraid of me lol.

Here is something from Islamqa about if we should give salaam to a Non-Muslim.

Question:
What should we say when greeting by a non-Muslim with: As salaamu 'alaykum?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible – firstly – to initiate the greeting of salaam to a non-Muslim. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not initiate the greeting of salaam to a Jew or a Christian…” (Narrated by Muslim, 2167).

If one of them says “As-Saam ‘alaykum” – meaning, may death be upon you – or it is not clear whether they have said “salaam”, then we should respond by saying “Wa ‘alaykum” (and upon you).

It was reported that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the Jews greet you, they say ‘Al-saam ‘alaykum (may death be upon you),’ so respond by saying ‘‘alayk (and also upon you).’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5902; Muslim, 2461).

If a non-Muslim greets us with the correct shar’i greeting (i.e., says ‘Al-salaamu ‘alaykum’ clearly), the scholars differed as to whether we have to return the greeting. The majority of scholars said that we do have to return the greeting, and this is the correct view.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: they differed as to whether it is obligatory to return the greeting. The majority said that it is obligatory and this is the correct view. A group of scholars said that it is not obligatory to return their greeting just as it is not obligatory to return the greeting of those who follow bid’ah. But the correct view is the first one. The difference is that we are commanded to forsake the followers of bid’ah by way of rebuke and to warn others about them, which is not the case with the Ahl al-Dhimmah (Jews and Christians).

(Zaad al-Ma’aad, 2/425, 426)

The Muslim who is returning the greeting should respond in the manner prescribed by sharee’ah, giving a similar or better greeting, because of the general meaning of the Aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally.” [al-Nisa’ 4:86]

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: if the person is certain that the Dhimmi (Jew or Christian) is clearly saying ‘al-salaamu ‘alaykum’ to him, and he has no doubts about that, should he say ‘wa ‘alayka al-salaam’ or shorten it to ‘wa ‘alayk’? What is indicated by the evidence and principles of sharee’ah is that he should say ‘wa ‘alayka al-salaam’, because this is more just, and Allaah commands us to be just and to treat others well… this does not contradict any of the ahaadeeth on this topic at all, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to shorten the greeting to ‘wa ‘alayk’ because of the reason mentioned above, which is that they deliberately used to say ‘al-saam ‘alaykum’ instead of ‘al-salaam ‘alaykum’, as indicated in the hadeeth narrated by ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). He said, “Do you not see that I say ‘wa ‘alaykum’ when they say ‘al-saam ‘alaykum’?” Then he said, “If the People of the Book greet you with salaam, say, ‘Wa ‘alaykum.’”

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“… and when they come to you, they greet you with a greeting wherewith Allaah greets you not, and say within themselves, ‘Why would Allâh punish us not for what we say?’…” [al-Mujaadilah 58:8]

If this reason is not there, and the Jew or Christian says, ‘Salaam ‘alaykum wa rahmat-Allaah,’ then it is only fair to respond in kind.

(Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah, 1/425, 426)

The hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah was narrated by al-Bukhaari (5901) and Muslim (2165)

See also: Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 2/97

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

 

[Durriyyah]

:salam2:

As for Muslims that stare, maybe they are envious of your piety (errr... their perception of it). Sometimes I get stares from people that I assume are not Muslims but then after talking to them I find out they are and they wish they would cover, but don't.

Most of us have goals and maybe the Muslims who stare are doing so because you remind them of where their goal is and where they currently stand (possibly far from their goal).

 

[lions_den1]

Islamic Light?

Sorry to burst the bubble here but i think it's time we shone some Islam in this thread.

The issue of staring is haram- for both men women!! As Allah (swt) says in Surah Nur

"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do." (Surah Nur 24:30)

And in the very next verse

"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms... And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah that ye may attain Bliss." (Surah Nur 24:31)

In a hadith the messenger of Allah (pbuh) saw Ali (ra) staring at a woman and he took hold of his face and turned it away saying "The first glance if from shaytan (accidental therefore allowed) but the second is from your self (haram and will be accountable for)"

So the fact should be well establsihed from the Quran and Sunnah that staring at the opposite sex is haram.

Also i would like to advice brothers on this forum not to "free-mix" and chit-chat with sisters.

:astag:

If you have something beneficial to say about Islam and this beautiful deen that will benefit us muslims then say it- but when one starts asking about a sister's appearance, or her likes and dislikes ect. It opens the door to temptaion and shaytan.

The messenger of Allah said "Shaytan will open the doors to 99 good to open one door of evil" (Bukhari)

I pray my brothers and sisters will take heed of my advice.

Allah Knows Best

 

[najbc]

Assalam

I personally hate been stare at or staring at other people. I do not like making eye contacts and some people find that dishonesty or disrepecting. It is not that i ma ot honesty or been disreactfull, I can not get myself to look someone in the eye.