Taking non-muslims as friends

[bilalswife1983]

Assalam alaykum everyone! As a revert, I'm having difficulty with friends I had before I became a Muslim. I don't want to turn my back on them but I also don't want to be around them too much because they do haram things and talk a lot about haram things. I seem to want to avoid them more than talk to them. Is that wrong of me? I think that I should just move away from here (which is the plan anyway so my kids can go to an Islamic school) and just keep in touch occasionally insha allah. That way I don't have to get rid of them but I also don't have to be around them. I guess the plan until then is to set a good example for them to see what Islam is really like. But today as I was reading the Qur'an, I came upon this verse:

Surah LX: That Which Examines (sorry I don't have the Arabic translation of it!)

"O ye who believe! Take not my enemies and yours as friends (or protectors),---offering them (your) love, even though they have rejected the Truth that has come to you, and have (on the contrary) driven out the Prophets and yourselves (from your homes), (simply) because ye believe in Allah your Lord! If ye have come out to strive in My Way and to seek My Good Pleasure, (take them not as friends), holding secret converse of love (and friendship) with them: for I know full well all that ye conceal and all that ye reveal. And any of you that does this has strayed from the Straight Path."

This sparked my memory and I remembered other verses similar to this, such as this one:

Surah V: The Repast, line 51

"O ye who believe! take not the Jews and Christians for your friends and protectors: They are but friends and protectors to each other. And he amongst you that turns to them (for friendship) is of them. Verily Allah guideth not a people unjust."

Most of these friends claim to be Christian and I don't want to talk bad about them but they are FAR from religion, except one who is actually a practicing Christian. Reading these verses from my point of view tells me that I should not be friends with these people. Can anyone help me with this? Am I interpreting that correctly?

 

[TheHumbleWun]

Salaam,

I am sure that it is difficult at the initial stage but gradually you will lose them. It's inevitable. Once you get closer to Allah swt you'll see them disappearing. You'll find new interest and find that your views/habits/practices are not in line with theirs.

I abandoned many of my Christian friends because they would talk about inappropriate things (i.e. drinking), even my "practicing Christian" boss wanted me to drink!

My advice is don't take them as close confidantes or best friends. Why not? Most Christians are close to their own, most Jews are close to their own, most Hindus are close to their own, etc.

Get involved with Muslim organizations, the masjid, etc to find Muslim friends.

The Prophet (pbuh) said:

“The likeness of a righteous companion and an evil companion is that of one who carries musk and one who works a bellows. With the one who carries musk, either he will give you some or you will buy from him or you will notice a pleasant fragrance from him. With the one who work a bellows, either he will burn your clothes or you will notice a foul odour from him.” (Bukhaari, 5534; Muslim, 2628)

May Allah make things easier for you dear sister.

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

Assalamu alaikom, it is a tricky situation as through getting stronger in my faith as a Muslim, it presents a great opportunity for me to spread dawa to my non-Muslim friends. Most of my non-Muslim friends are not particularly practising in any faith but very respectful of mine. I stopped going to functions where alcohol would be served and non halal meat, for example. But I like to spread good-tidings of Islam and also I believe there is a verse in the Qur'an says somewhere that Christians would be the closest to us in terms of People of the Book but I will try to find that and verify when I pick my son up from school I think most of my former friends were not religious as that is what I was used to coming from a non religious "Catholic" family

 

[abdellah007]

Assalamu alaikom, it is a tricky situation as through getting stronger in my faith as a Muslim, it presents a great opportunity for me to spread dawa to my non-Muslim friends. Most of my non-Muslim friends are not particularly practising in any faith but very respectful of mine. I stopped going to functions where alcohol would be served and non halal meat, for example. But I like to spread good-tidings of Islam and also I believe there is a verse in the Qur'an says somewhere that Christians would be the closest to us in terms of People of the Book but I will try to find that and verify when I pick my son up from school I think most of my former friends were not religious as that is what I was used to coming from a non religious "Catholic" family

Thou wilt find the most vehement of mankind in hostility to those who believe (to be) the Jews and the idolaters. And thou wilt find the nearest of them in affection to those who believe (to be) those who say: Lo! We are Christians. That is because there are among them priests and monks, and because they are not proud. (82) When they listen to that which hath been revealed unto the messengers, thou seest their eyes overflow with tears because of their recognition of the Truth. They say: Our Lord, we believe. Inscribe us as among the witnesses. (83) Alma'ida 5/82.83

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

Dear Sister,

I have located the Quranic verse I mentioned a little while ago:

Surah Al Ma'idah 5:82
"Strongest among men in enmity
To the Believers wilt thou
Find the Jews and Pagans;
And nearest amont them in love
To the Believers wilt thou
Find those who say,
"We are Christians":
Because amongst these are
Men devoted to learning
And men who have renounced
The world, and they
Are not arrogant".

I believe the reference to those devoted to learning etc refers to Christian monks who devote their entire lives to worship and prayer.
Also, interesting to note that Allah mentions that these are not "arrogant". Many pagans/atheists can be arrogant, in my opinion as they are caught up in worldly matters and do not realize that we were placed on this earth for one purpose, to worship Almighty Allah.

Personally, I feel, as you have different goals from many of your friends, as TheHumbleWun said, you will find yourself naturally distancing yourself away. I do spend the bulk of my social time with my Muslim friends and we are like one big happy family. However, we do go to the occasional function at a Church for dawa purposes and on occasion I invite a few of my non-Muslim girlfriends over to the house so I can cook something halal and I don't have to be in an awkward situation where, n some houses, or if you meet non-Muslim friends at a restaurant, there may be alcohol on the table and that should be avoided completely

 

[Abdul Hasib]

Alhamdulillahee Nahmaduhu Wanaas Tha Aynu Hoo, Wa Naasthag Firuh, Wa Na Uzoo Billahee Meen Shuru Ree An Fusee Naa, Wa Min Saye Athi Aght Maa Leena, Mayahdihillahu Fallah Mudil Lallah, Wa Mayud Lillahu Haa Ziyaa Laah,

Wa Nash Hadu Allah Illaha Illal Laahu, Nahmaduhu Wa Salee Alaan Sayeedena Mursaaleen, Wa Alaa ALee Hee, Wa Azwajehee, Wa Sallal Laahu Alayhe Wa Salam.

Amma Baad (To Proceed).


I hate to be the one talking brother Sameel (up on the post), but having girlfriends are Haram. And brother, I'm being serious, and not to slander you or make fun of you or make you fel bad, but it is true. Having girlfriends is Haraam, no matter what. Ther's no way to Halal-a-size it. And ever trying to do so is Bidah, an innovation, "And verliy, evry innovation leads to go out of my SUnnah, and every act (Bidah done) that is not of my Sunnah leads to the Hell Fire."

So brother, I hope I don't sound mean or anything, but seriously, you have to break up wit hthem. Either like that, or get married with them (YES it IS actually Okay to do that, but there are problems that will happen if you do so).

The reason being of why Boyfriends and Girlfriends are not allowed in Islam is the Haraam and Fitnah related things that occur. Like boys and girls kissing, smacking, and touching each other (alright, and "hugging from behind her") are evil things, why? Because it's Haraam, and that's because Allah Ta Alla, and Rasululah (SAW) said, "Get married, because it leaves away the temptationist (alright I made that word up ) and sexual feelings and desires," and it's the best way to be companions with someone you love (boy and girl).

Brother, I understand what it's like, "It's kinda hard to get maried," but these are things you should know brother.

1. If you are at the correct age (like 19-20+), and you can't get married yet, than fast, for Rasulullah (SAW) said, "For those of you young men who can get married (like your financially or whatever able to), than get married, and those of you young men who cannot get married yet (due to whatever reason), than fast (Intentional ones, I'm not just talking about Ramadwan), for it takes away (and reduces) your sexual feelings and desires."

And this fact is also proven too. John Harvey Kellogg, the maker of Kellogg's Cereal, who wrote in his book, "Plain Facts about Sexual Life," that a way to reduce sexual feelings is by eating simple meals, and eating meals only twice a day. He found that out about two centuries ago, but Rasulullah (SAW) found that out (and found that idea out) fourteen hundred years ago, Subhanallah, Allahu Akbar!

And remember brother, that there is no other women who is better, in the heavens and the Earth than a pious Muslim Sister. Not even "the hottest" girl in your class or school, on the streets, or anywhere else. Not even Hurel Yein, the Virgin of Jannah (I hope I didn't spark something up now). And why? Well let's see the values of each.

For those "hot" and "pretty" girls you might find (and especially in Florida brother ) like in school or anywhere, well just think about it! They have NO self respect! Like they might not do anything on the streets, but at school or work they jsut go around walking and prancing around, and wearing Zaynah (It's spelt Zeinah, but I don't know if I said it right, LoL) clothing!

And some of them even go to the extent of dancing and "expressing" themsleves too much! Like there's a whole group of boys out there who like them, are "friends" with them, and who are watching them, in their "charming ideals" (< By that, I mean down, middle, and up, hope you get my flow bro :wink and than boys even go around "hugging" and touching them. You ever heard of the "grind" brother? And since I know (and this is obvious LoL) that you live in America rolleyes brother, you'll understand what that is.

And so it concludes that, they are just "toys for men," if they're broken in heart or out, .......
doesn't matter, can just get a knew one. Astagfirullah Wa Azoubillah Meen Zalik.

 

[Abdul Hasib]

And so, it now goes to Hurel Yain, the pure and young Virgin women in Jannah. Looks so beautiful, she's a pearl in Jannah, and her face is so bright, that if she was sent to this world, it'd light up, the whole Earth, completely, like a star that's even brighter than Antares (one of the Blue/white hot stars).
And she LOVES NO OTHER MAN BUT HER HUSBAND.

But, there's a drawback. What is it? Her purpose, and the way she is. She's an Angel brother, a special Malayka. And we know the characteristics of the Angels, don't we? Allah Ta Alla created them from light, and created them with these things.

(P.S. listen to this while you read more, it helps raise your Eman and peace in your heart)

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1. Without a Nafs. Any Malayka, Jibreel (AS) or anyone, can go infront of any Muslimah, no matter waht she's doing, no matter how beautiful she might be, and they feel nothing in their heart, except either, "Oh Allah, if she is truly your Servant, your Slave, a true Mumin and Beleiver, than make her of the rightous, but if she isn't, than make her follow the Deen if you chose too, and if you do not than she will be the one who is in error."

2.The Malayka were made specially so that they do what their Lord, Allah Ta Alla tells them, without question or feelings of resenting. And they do as they are told, rihgt ther. If it's to kill on the battelfeild, no hesitation, just wham (and I think Azrael does this too, LoL), they kill them right there. There are even Angels out there who are in Sajdah or Ruku till Qiyamat, for tens of thousands of years, and no feeligns of pain, Alhamdulillah.
And there are angels who have the honor of being next to the Arsh, the throne of Allah Ta Alla, and they make dua for those beleivers who are steadfast, pious and rightous.

3.They were made specailly to do exactly as their lord destined for them. Some for Earth, some for Jannah, some for Salat and Ibadat, and some for making Dua for the rightous Muslims.

So that's exaxtly waht Hurul Yain is like. No question, nothing, just does as she was told, and she was made SPECIFICALLY for waht reason? To do as she was made too, to love and lust with her husband.

So that raps it up there, Hurul Yain has only one good thing about her, her beauty. But you know something brother? Muslim Sisters in Jannah will have more beauty than her, sisters who are pious, rightous, fear their lord, and Love their Lord, Allah Ta Alla. But now I'll continue and move on.

So, lets shoot down some (or fire some actually, LoL ) bullets at waht we've discussed so far:

That even though ther might br those Kafir girls, who are, "yeah they're hot," or "they look nice," (I'm being sarcastic here) and well, those might be the outer things in them, but in Muslim Sisters, ther are more.

And for Hurul Yain, she might be clean, virgin, and all that, but she has no main and great purpose of existing. While Allah Ta Alla gave our sisters many more than Hurul Yain, or Kafir girls. What are they?

Allah Ta Alla says in the Quran, "I have not created Men and Jinn, other than that they worship me alone,"

And when Allah Ta Alla told the Malayka that he wanted to create humans, the Malayka thought that it was a scary idea, for they also said, "Ya Allah, if you create Man (Humans, from Adam and Hawa [AS] ), than they wil lcause destruction on Earth!"

But Allah Ta Alla said, "That the best of my creation is Man, because he cannot see the supernatural (the Jinn), the Malayka, the wonders of Jannah the Adin (the Paradise), nor the horrors of Jahanam (An Naar, the Hell Fire). Nor can they see me, Their Lord, but they beleive in me, (and everything above), even when they cannot see them, nor when they cannot see me."

 

[Abdul Hasib]

And so what about Muslimahs brother? What makes them so special? Alot of things do. Brother, the best Muslimah ever, is not the one who is only young, beautiful, or who only wears the Hijab and Burkah, but the one who is:

Pious, Steadfast in Islam, one who has great Eman, who fears Allah Ta Alla, who wears the Hijab (properly too, and if she doesn't may Allah Ta Alla guide and help her, Ameen). And who is also kind, loving, and caring. And her greatest beauty? Not her Virginity, her face, or other things, rather, it is her Love for Allah Ta Alla. That is her greatest beauty.

If she has all of these, and most importantly (and this is the one that you know if she has this, than she has all of it), her Love for Allah Ta Alla. She has a greater beauty in her, and that is that she worships him, and remembers him (Zikr), and you can just see that in her, and if you marry her, than you'll have a wife who not only is beautiful, but she has something better than her beauty, and that is her Love for Allah Ta Alla.

If she has that, she'll never really give you a problem (and if she does, than first look at yourself and see and understand that there might be a problem in you, what? you might just be too ahrd on ehr, or anything else), and if your a convert too brother, than she;ll teach you alot of Islam.

If you have this kind of a wife, than she will help you to stay on your feet, and make your feet firm on Islam, and she'll encourage you to do good.

A Muslimah Sister who is rightous will also help you through your problems. IF you feel upset, or when you feel down, she'll be ther at your side, hand in hand, and she'll comfort you and make you feel better brother.

So to conclude, the best women ever is a Muslimah Sister, and that it is Haram to be with any girl or women who is not married to you. Brother, I also suggest that you go to your girlfriend(s) and tell them that it's over, that your done.

And I also suggest that you go and look for a pious, and loving and caring Muslimah sister to marry. And if you need any help t otry to know how you ask her for marriage brother, you ca ngo to the Brothers and Sisters on this site and learn fro mthem, and what advice they give.

And no one is the better sustainer than Allah Ta Alla brother. I shall make dua for you and for other brothers and sisters that they find a great and Loving Husband and Wife to marry, Inshallah. I'm trying to tay overnight at my local big Masjid today, and I'm gonna do my special Tahajudd Salat and Dua, the ones I do when I go for Jamaat.

And so brother, hold onto Islam, hold onto Allah Ta Alla, and may he make all of us to be the people who Jannah is their only Abode in the Akirah, and may he make us be of the Mutaqeen (the rightous), and May he Make us be the ones who reject the flashood and evil, especially those of us living in the West, Ameen.

Wa Naakel Dawah Naa, Waneel Hamdulillahe Rabi Al Alameen. Ameen.


Jazakallah Kyr Wa Barkallahu Feek Brothers and sisters wh ohave rea my post. LoL I know I had alot of erros, but I've been typing this for 2 hours now, and have made nine thousand characters, Mashallah my highest ever (second place would be eight thousand eight hundred and waht? sixty? LoL. personal PM message. :wink

So anyway,

Assalamu alykum Warahmatullahi Wa Barakathuh, brothers and sisiters.

 

[Abdul Hasib]

Oh and sorry Sister Nick Sadies Mom (Umm Nick Sadies in Arabic, LoL even though I'm not Arabian my self, I know a good deal, LoL), for not answering or helping you for your question, but I shall Inshallah. Oh well. D) I hope I will be able to Inshallah.

But I hope you really liked my post sister. And any other brothers and sisters out there.

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Again, Assalamu Alykum. LoL :lol:

 

[Hassan Khalid]

In the Name of God, Most Beneficent, Most Merciful



First of all, a Muslim should be good with all people. A Muslim may have non-Muslim friends and professional acquaintances. However, he has to keep his Islamic identity and set a good example for them in morality, goodness and gentleness.

So, as a Muslim you should be kind and courteous to everyone. Muslims are allowed to have non-Muslims as friends as long as they keep their own faith and commitment to Islam pure and strong. Allah has clearly forbidden Muslims from fighting those who fight not their faith or drive them out from their homes.

Allah Himself says, "Allah forbids you not with regard to those who fight you not for your faith, nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them. For Allah loves those who are just. Allah only forbids you with regard to those who fight you for your faith, and drive you out of your homes and support others in driving you out, from turning to them for protection (or taking them as wali). Those who seek their protection they are indeed wrong- doers." (Al-Mumtahinah 60: 8-9)

Please also see:

Does Islam Forbid Befriending Non-Muslims?
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...nglish-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaEAskTheScholar

Your brother in Islam, Hassan.

 

[bilalswife1983]

Assalam alaykum!

I appreciate your responses! Thank you very much, always the people I can count on.

Dawn

 

[wonnee3]

Assalam alaykum everyone! As a revert, I'm having difficulty with friends I had before I became a Muslim. I don't want to turn my back on them but I also don't want to be around them too much because they do haram things and talk a lot about haram things. I seem to want to avoid them more than talk to them. Is that wrong of me? I think that I should just move away from here (which is the plan anyway so my kids can go to an Islamic school) and just keep in touch occasionally insha allah. That way I don't have to get rid of them but I also don't have to be around them. I guess the plan until then is to set a good example for them to see what Islam is really like. But today as I was reading the Qur'an, I came upon this verse:

Surah LX: That Which Examines (sorry I don't have the Arabic translation of it!)

"O ye who believe! Take not my enemies and yours as friends (or protectors),---offering them (your) love, even though they have rejected the Truth that has come to you, and have (on the contrary) driven out the Prophets and yourselves (from your homes), (simply) because ye believe in Allah your Lord! If ye have come out to strive in My Way and to seek My Good Pleasure, (take them not as friends), holding secret converse of love (and friendship) with them: for I know full well all that ye conceal and all that ye reveal. And any of you that does this has strayed from the Straight Path."

This sparked my memory and I remembered other verses similar to this, such as this one:

Surah V: The Repast, line 51

"O ye who believe! take not the Jews and Christians for your friends and protectors: They are but friends and protectors to each other. And he amongst you that turns to them (for friendship) is of them. Verily Allah guideth not a people unjust."

Most of these friends claim to be Christian and I don't want to talk bad about them but they are FAR from religion, except one who is actually a practicing Christian. Reading these verses from my point of view tells me that I should not be friends with these people. Can anyone help me with this? Am I interpreting that correctly?

As Salaamu Alaikum, i found that 1 of 3 things will happen, u will loose ur deen or they will congradulate and ask more questions and embrace or they will fall off by the way side. u must stay strong n ur deen as not 2 fall back n2 old habits. that is y some will tell u that u should leave them alone

 

[ja_tu_miluju]

I dont necessarily think you should get rid of them...I have many many non-muslim friends, AKA, every friend i had before i reverted. Some accepted it, some didnt, but i found that having them as friends was a great way to tell them about Islam...
STart by telling them not to do certain things around u, if htey cant respect just that, then maybe it is time to say goodbye, but those that respect the little things are worth keeping around...etc

 

[bilalswife1983]

As Salaamu Alaikum, i found that 1 of 3 things will happen, u will loose ur deen or they will congradulate and ask more questions and embrace or they will fall off by the way side. u must stay strong n ur deen as not 2 fall back n2 old habits. that is y some will tell u that u should leave them alone

Wa alaykum salam and jazak allah. I think the plan is to tell them (I've already told a couple of them) and then let them do what they are going to do. No matter what, no one can take me from the path that Allah has guided me to. If they accept it and ask lots of questions, I will love that and will happily answer their questions. If they reject me, that's fine, it won't hurt my feelings. I will just let them be and if they come around to ask questions, great! If not, may Allah guide them. I don't really have to worry about "old habits" or falling back into them because I didn't have too much in the first place elhamdolilah Again, jazak allah for your answer

 

[bilalswife1983]

I dont necessarily think you should get rid of them...I have many many non-muslim friends, AKA, every friend i had before i reverted. Some accepted it, some didnt, but i found that having them as friends was a great way to tell them about Islam...
STart by telling them not to do certain things around u, if htey cant respect just that, then maybe it is time to say goodbye, but those that respect the little things are worth keeping around...etc

That's what I was thinking.....great chance for dawah!!!