The "F" Word during ramadan

[worriedsister]

salams to all
i am married 21 with two kids, my husband and I are always upset with eACH other a lot of the time, is this is what marriage is about stress stress and more stress, last night he used the "f" word and i wear niqab, it is degrading to me to heAR someone say.i am a revert also. he is normally Nice but now i dont know, what should i do,

 

[leylamuslimah]

Asalamu alaikum,
sister im sorry for what is goin on at the moment, i am not married but i can offer u my two cents of advice lol, first and foremost pray To Allah, to intervene in ur situation and help both of u, ask Allah to help u remain calm and be able to discuss with ur husband calmly and let him be calm as well. also u need to try and sit down and talk and see what the root of the problem is maybe there is something that is bothering one of u and instead of discussing it u are having arguments instead and not solving anything.
Inshallah things will be well for u but always remember Allah He knows best .
Salaams
P.S Marriage is not all about stress i believe love and companionship and friendship etc thrive in marriage.

 

[worriedsister]

we have tried talking and everything
and i am beginning to think we are not right for each other....very very worried
if anyone want to give me advice my email add is *removed*

 

[leylamuslimah]

Salaams,
Sister, ask Allah for guidance, if this marriage is good for u pray that things get better but if its not good for u may Allah show you the way.
Salaams

 

[leylamuslimah]

Salaams,
oh yeah by the way what i was just talking about i think its called the prayer for guidance 'Istikharah'. and Inshallah u will be alright
salaams

 

[amirah80]

:salam2:

Sister Inshallah everything will work out for you. I have been in situations similar with my spouse a while ago. Alhumdulilah everything is great now. We both had to make some changes on our part but it worked out for the best. One thing I had to remember is the Shaytan stays close to married people and will try anything to break up the marriage. When I realized that everything started to change. Knowing something so pleasing to Allah the Shaytan will try his best to destroy it. Pray Istikharah.

 

[dianek]

I can only say this.....I live with what you are going through and it has been this way for 7 years now and never gets any better only more and more drawn out. I am actually taking steps to walk out on him....securing a home for myself that is appropriate for me and the children when they are with me. I have no advice to offer except that, if you are like me, you come to realize that the very FEW and FAR BETWEEN moments of tenderness/kindness are paid for 4 fold in anger and blow ups. I will let you know what life is like on my own....for I know it will be just what I need.

 

[TheHumbleWun]

Salaam,

My friends & family always tells me I never get angry (Alhamdulillah). I think when one get's angry their tongue is processing faster than their brain, so you'll hear all kinds gobbleldy goo. Using the "F" word or any other kind of derogatory words just simply means someone is limited in their vocabulary. Even worse, it's real bad and ugly when little kids are around.

Try going out to dinner, bowling, movies, and other activities together. Every man and woman has standards that are fixed and the other areas are compromisable. Marriage is about give and take. Inshallah, I hope things cool down.

 

[musliminah 05]

:salam2: sister

Im sorry to hear about your problems with your husband. Inshallah make plenty of dua sister.
Have you thought about getting someone to act as a mediator family friend or someone from the musjid. You would be able to both talk without loosing your tempers or saying things harshly to one another. You could both write down what makes you unhappy and what you are in need of from one another and then talk about each point.
You have to remember non of us are of perfect nature and sometimes we do say things which are bad, but maybe because we are hurting we tend to not think rationally about what we are saying. Something might seem soooo big at the time but in reality it is really small.
In the first few years of marriage you try to establish some form of foundation and its not always very easy, you might clash over things but communication is very important dont close up the both of you try and talk Inshallah, and as I said make plenty of dua Inshallah.
I do hope I havent said anything to upset or offend you or anyone else.
Please if you need to talk feel free to send me a message.

May Allah help you and guide you and your family Inshallah.



:tti_sister:

 

[abu'muhammad]

:salam2:

sister,
Marraige is the relation of compromise and forgiveness. One needs to have broad attitude. There are many reasons of ill behaviour from the opposite one. It could be workload, busy schedules, responsibilities, social tension, economical worries, lack of understanding, less space of expressions etc. These are some , but are many. Just we need to find what’s the weaker link and investigate thoroughly the causes and do amendments to solve the problem. Whatever that may be but has to be removed or else it could face everytime or we have ever threat of it. Mutual discussions are beneficial. It leads directly to the problem rather than assuming it by our ownself. Every relation needs understanding, some attitude of “let-go” etc . a person should take out some time for ownself to think over particular causes, rather seems strange, but it works out. We can easily sortlist some of the reasons for the results. A person ever thinks ownself to be in a bad situation, but its not always a case. There are many people who are in much bad condition than us. So we need to thank Allah swt and ask for strength . The lifestage of muslm needs to be between two words sabra and shukra. They give self strength to the person in adversity. And afterall life is multi-coloured. Sometimes its rejoice and sometimes its sorrow. Married people face much problems than bachelors. And resentments going to happen but its frequency could be lowered substantially and atlast to nil. One should leave “I” and come upon “we”. That is commendable and compatible. Just to say , huge trees cannot stand against strong winds, but small plants stand although they bend. We need to endeavour out the problem and rectify it. Whether its from our side we should change ourselves, and if its from opposite side, if we can do it by tricks and tacts and if we can’t do, we should pray for it and seek help of Allah. Islam is the religion of joining . We will never find any person in the present world having all plus with no minus.It’s in general ,We forget ourselves , when complaining, that’s human nature. And shaytan is very happy when married people fight or do some bad to each other. There are different test in life and this is one of them. One should maintain the bond and treaty that they made with each other.

I pray for your prosperous future and resolutions.

 

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
This is very inappropriate behavior, and this word should not be used to degrade anyone. He should make tawbah and contemplate on what he did, and especially in this blessed month, it is uncalled for. He should treat you with more respect inshallah. I will keep you in my duaas inshallah.

 

[Zaynab123]

Asalamu alaykum

speaking of using the"f" word during Ramadhan, he should never ever use the "f" word. yeah never even if its not Ramadhan.

hope things get better for u insha ALLAH. may Allah subhana wata'ala make him a pious persona and guide him to the right path amiin......

wasalam