They told her that she is too old to get marry!!!???

[Asja]

Assalamu Alaicum

I have been talking to my sister friend who is 26 years old and she is not married yet. But people are telling her that SHE IS TOO OLD to get marry now. While she was passing by she called salam to her neighbours and she hear them whispering "how she is that old one that did not marry yet".
So sister who is 26 years old is too old to get marry by some opinions. And by that brother who is 26 or more years old would also be to old to get marry. Right???

But brother of 26 years old is not old and sister is. How is that possible and there is no logic in that. They should say that brother of 25 years is also old and not only sister. I just do not understan why to some people ages are so importante. Maybe this is conected with culture, tradition
or something simular becouse by logic I do not see any sense in that.

I hope Inshallah they will stop calling my sister "old one" when she is only 26 years old and she is young and beautiful.I have been repeating her that all the time but I have a feeling that words of these people are affecting on her but on negative way. May Allah protect her Inshallah. :tti_sister:

It would be very nice for a change to call brothers of 25-26 years OLD too, Inshallah.(please do not get offended Inshallah) Than this would be equality.

May Allah bless you and may Allah guide us all. Ameen

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alikum

sister you are right thats just the way our society has gone astray, in reality 25-26 is not that old but people think so but there is a small reason to it.

For a men, his reproduction success remains pretty high till atleast the 50's , but for a women as it reaches its 30 and it grows older it might not be that healthy to have a baby, the best time to have kids is before 30 for a women from a scientific average point of view.
I really dont think that should stop someone but since our society just focuses on stupid things they say this stuff - I think ur friend should not care about them and inshallah find a pious husband - ameen

 

[mhamzah]

:salam2:

If she is a Muslim than maybe some words of encouragment to her would be to remind her of the age of Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, when he first got married. He was 25 years and 2 months old, not a lot of difference between 25 and 26.

And how old was Prophet Muhammad, pbuh when he got married to Hazrat Maimuna? He was around 60 years at that time.

 

[IHearIslam]

aslam o alikum

sister you are right thats just the way our society has gone astray, in reality 25-26 is not that old but people think so but there is a small reason to it.

For a men, his reproduction success remains pretty high till atleast the 50's , but for a women as it reaches its 30 and it grows older it might not be that healthy to have a baby, the best time to have kids is before 30 for a women from a scientific average point of view.
I really dont think that should stop someone but since our society just focuses on stupid things they say this stuff - I think ur friend should not care about them and inshallah find a pious husband - ameen

:salam2:
First of all Ameen to your dua brother, and I totally agree with what you said. Our society care more about STUPID stuff and judge people. May Allah guide us all.Ameen

Allah hafiz NOW and ALWAYS

 

[wannabe_muttaqi]

Assalamu Alaikum

:salam2:
I would like to ask first is there any reason she is delaying her marriage? If there is a valid reason then I think sister Asja you have to let this go as there are always people yapping just like that without knowing the head and tail of the subject.

If that sister is not getting married just to stay single for a while or she wants to achieve something before getting married then encourage that sister to get married soon as she is old enough to get married unless there is really a reason not to ( like health issues etc).

I believe we should get married soon (if there isn't any valid not to ) as marriage is half deen and a good companion is always a mercy from ALLAH SWT to have.

aslam o alikum

sister you are right thats just the way our society has gone astray, in reality 25-26 is not that old but people think so but there is a small reason to it.

For a men, his reproduction success remains pretty high till atleast the 50's , but for a women as it reaches its 30 and it grows older it might not be that healthy to have a baby, the best time to have kids is before 30 for a women from a scientific average point of view.
I really dont think that should stop someone but since our society just focuses on stupid things they say this stuff - I think ur friend should not care about them and inshallah find a pious husband - ameen

Bro are you sure abt the stats?

:salam2:

 

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:
I would like to ask first is there any reason she is delaying her marriage? If there is a valid reason then I think sister Asja you have to let this go as there are always people yapping just like that without knowing the head and tail of the subject.

If that sister is not getting married just to stay single for a while or she wants to achieve something before getting married then encourage that sister to get married soon as she is old enough to get married unless there is really a reason not to ( like health issues etc).

I believe we should get married soon (if there isn't any valid not to ) as marriage is half deen and a good companion is always a mercy from ALLAH SWT to have.




Bro are you sure abt the stats?

:salam2:

:salam2:
Brother i dont have the exact stats but i remember that from my biology class we studied it

 

[wannabe_muttaqi]

Assalamu Alaikum

:salam2:

:salam2:
Brother i dont have the exact stats but i remember that from my biology class we studied it

I was just curious thats it. i think i did not offend you......peace.

:salam2:

 

[Asja]

:salam2:
I would like to ask first is there any reason she is delaying her marriage? If there is a valid reason then I think sister Asja you have to let this go as there are always people yapping just like that without knowing the head and tail of the subject.

If that sister is not getting married just to stay single for a while or she wants to achieve something before getting married then encourage that sister to get married soon as she is old enough to get married unless there is really a reason not to ( like health issues etc).

I believe we should get married soon (if there isn't any valid not to ) as marriage is half deen and a good companion is always a mercy from ALLAH SWT to have.


:salam2:

Allaicomu saalam dear brother

Thank you very much for your kind reply brother.

Regarding your question dear brother is there any reason why my sister frined did not get marry untill now.
Well,my sister friend is very beautiful,pious and high educated persone Mashallah,and she is still young.Untill now she had a loot of marriege propusals Mashallah,but she rejected them all for some reasons,as she did not find any one who will have the same or simular characterists like she does.Once she told me that she is looking that everything be perfect and that is maybe why she does not know who to chose for her husband Inshallah.

Yes I do agree with you brother,that we should get marry with our young ages,as marriege is blessing and half of deen,and that is why I hope my sister will get marry very soon with Allah great mercy and blessings.:tti_sister:

Jazzak Allah kahir for your reply

May Allah bless you

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

Well you guys know if there is discussion about reproductive science I am going to come running, lol. (it's the field I want to specialize in, inshallah) A woman's fertility is statistically strongest in her 20s. But we don't consider her "advanced maternal age" until she is 35. At this point the majority women begin to experience a decline in their fertility and egg quality.

Now this is NOT to say that is is true for everyone, it's just a statistical trend that women should be aware of. Oh course we all know of women who are 35-48...and maybe rarely older, who experience perfectly healthy pregnancies. Of course most of them have already been pregnant and thus it's still easier for their body to maintain it's fertility.

As far as the sister goes in the original post, well these people should remember that the punishment for backbiting in Islam is hellfire. I would oh sos weetly remind these gossiping aunties of this fact as to prevent them from that fate, insh'Allah. It is utterly preposterous to say that 26 is too old and reflects a cultural belief based in ignorance. They should remember that Kadijah (RA) was 40 when she married Rasool (peace be upon him) and bore him children. Can you imagine telling this magnificient woman she was too old to marry?? :astag:

Anyways, there you have the opinion of a med student who will be going into reproductive medicine, insh'Allah. Make what you will of it.

Wasalaam

 

[Asja]

:salam2:

If she is a Muslim than maybe some words of encouragment to her would be to remind her of the age of Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, when he first got married. He was 25 years and 2 months old, not a lot of difference between 25 and 26.

And how old was Prophet Muhammad, pbuh when he got married to Hazrat Maimuna? He was around 60 years at that time.

Allaicomu Saalam

jazzak Allah kahir dear brother for your kind reply.

Yes,she is a Muslimah Mashallah,and I told her that she is still young and that Inshallah she can get marry with pious and beautiful future husband.Ameen.

And Mashallah dear brother you gave a good example of our beloved Prophet Mohammed s.a.w.s. who married when he was young and that was when he was 25 years old.

May Allah bless you:tti_sister:

 

[Abdul Hasib]

Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahe Wabarakaathuh Asja Baji, Apka Kyalhe'? (How are you? Sorry, I just like using the Urdu when I talk <Especially when I include the soft accent ) Sorry I haven't been able to talk to you or any other of the brothers and sisters on TTI for a long time, I've been really busy and stuff, you know?

But anyway, don't worry about what other people say about your Dear Sister ya Baji, because there are people out there that SERIOUSLY can't shut up (meaning that they just go around nagging at other people's faults and mistakes).

And as for your sister, she is NOT too old, and what everyone else says about her is stupid and there's no need to listen to them. It'll just make you feel upset and depressed, because they're talking about your Sister who you Love Dearly. So PLEASE don't pay attention to them Baji, because they're just stupid and need to put a sock in their mouths.

And besides, your sister is SO NOT too old. My English teacher is 26 years old, and she's still young. Not to also mention that she's getting married soon. (I want to get her a present before school's over. Like a few nice gifts, and THEN give like a few good books like the Quran, and about Islam, because I REALLY admire my teacher's personality and character. And one person that I'd HATE to see in Jahanam would be her, because she's like the NICEST teacher that I have EVER had (and I'm not saying that because of the way she looks (meaning, boys "finding her attractive") either, because there was this one teacher that I had last year that was like that, and I HATED her), and so I'm making dua that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla opens her heart to Islam, and has her embrace it completely, because Islam is beautiful, and I want her to experiance Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla's GREATEST gift. Insha-ahu (If he wills sorry, my Arabic sucks at the moment )) then she WILL embrace Islam. Inshallah....)

And besides, there are people out there that act EXTREMELY retarded that they ACTUALLY get married too early JUST because they think, "My daughter is getting too old." But even if a sister is 30 years old, it doesn't matter if she still isn't married yet, because it's important for a sister to find the RIGHT (and PERFECT) husband, like Romeo, only that he's also a Pious Muslim too lol



Argh! Darn I got to leave right now. Dang... I wanted to say a few more things, but unfortunately, class already started so I'm going to have to go right now.

But anyways, take care Asja Baji

And...........................

 

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:



I was just curious thats it. i think i did not offend you......peace.

:salam2:

:salam2:
no brother thats good u shud always ask and verify the information you acquire

 

[Asja]

Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahe Wabarakaathuh Asja Baji,


And as for your sister, she is NOT too old, and what everyone else says about her is stupid and there's no need to listen to them. It'll just make you feel upset and depressed, because they're talking about your Sister who you Love Dearly. So PLEASE don't pay attention to them Baji, because they're just stupid and need to put a sock in their mouths.

.................

Allaicomu Saalam Wa Rahmatullah Wa barakatuhu

Thank you dear brother so much for your kind words and duas. May Allah subahn we teal bless you always and reword you:tti_sister:.Inshallah my beloved sister will find a perfect husband for her,with Allash Love,Blessings and Mercy.Ameen.:tti_sister: I agree with you brother,and with all other brothers and sisters that my sister friend is not old,but she is still young Mashallah,and because she is great Muslimah,Allah Almighty will reword her with beautiful and pious Muslim husband.


And I hope Inshallah dear brother,that your teacher will accept Islaam one day and become a great Muslimah.Ameen.:tti_sister:

because it's important for a sister to find the RIGHT (and PERFECT) husband, like Romeo, only that he's also a Pious Muslim too lol

We have a Muslim Romeo too??? Mashallah.

Thank you once again dear brother for your encouragement.

May Allah subhan we teal bless you

 

[Muslimah16]

The older a male gets the more time he has to work on his career. He needs to provide for his family and thus needs to be financially stable.
A girl on the other hand does not have the need to provide for the family.
The older you get, you receive less proposals and your value kind of becomes less too.
Its just a society thing.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

The older a male gets the more time he has to work on his career. He needs to provide for his family and thus needs to be financially stable.
A girl on the other hand does not have the need to provide for the family.
The older you get, you receive less proposals and your value kind of becomes less too.
Its just a society thing.

:salam2:
sister but see alot of times the society is so cruel to females, in many many societies females are not even asked for marriage and given off to someone, i think it was TTI where i read a saudi dad married his really young daughter of 7 or 9 to a 60 year old guy

About the women being old that just society our society puts unfair pressure, when i look at my canadian society most of the girls are married in their 30's no one thinks they are OLD, its just our society , its not in islam.

Inshallah Allah (swt) guide us all to the true path of islam and take us away from the bad things we follow in our society - ameen

 

[safiya58]

:salam2:

marriage is kismet from Allah... He decides it wether to bless His servants with a wife/husbund or not... like anything else too... and the time is also His decision. our job is to accept what comes from Allah. If it is good then elhamdulillah if not then we have to be patient... I´m also 24... not married but engagged... if Allah wants I will get married after one year.... of course I would prefer to be married when I was 19 or 20 but agai this is nasip... I don´t care when ppl call me old, they are jahil... plus this is backbitting it is haram and they have to repent from it... I don´t want to sound conceidet but I have some really good qualities and I know that I will be a good wife and mother inshaallah...

 

[Asja]

The older a male gets the more time he has to work on his career. He needs to provide for his family and thus needs to be financially stable.
A girl on the other hand does not have the need to provide for the family.
The older you get, you receive less proposals and your value kind of becomes less too.
Its just a society thing.

:salam2:

Dear sister,we sisters should educate our selves Alhamdulillah,the same like brothers too.But my sister friend is 26,she is like princess and Mashallah she recived untill now so much marriege proposouls.

Alhamdulillah I agree that we should get marry in our young ages,but if with someone happens the case like with my sister it does not mean that she is too much old to get marry,becasue she is not.

May Allah bless you

 

[Asja]

:salam2:

marriage is kismet from Allah... He decides it wether to bless His servants with a wife/husbund or not... like anything else too... and the time is also His decision. our job is to accept what comes from Allah. If it is good then elhamdulillah if not then we have to be patient... I´m also 24... not married but engagged... if Allah wants I will get married after one year.... of course I would prefer to be married when I was 19 or 20 but agai this is nasip... I don´t care when ppl call me old, they are jahil... plus this is backbitting it is haram and they have to repent from it... I don´t want to sound conceidet but I have some really good qualities and I know that I will be a good wife and mother inshaallah...

:salam2: my dear sister Safiya.

Jazzak Allah kahir sister for your kind reply.

Inshallah you will be great wife and mother .:tti_sister::tti_sister:

May Allah bless you

Dear sister......I love you for the sake of Allah

 

[Muslimah16]

Bro shaheer and Sister asja, i didnt say i agreed. i said it is a society thing
Meaning i didint agree. lol.
Bro Shaheer, i know it is society and not islam lol.. thats why i said "just a society thing" lol
Sister Asja, i didnt say she is old i do not agree with type of treatment with women either, again, like i said its just society. Aameen to your du'a ukhti may Allah bless you too *hug*

Sorry if i came accross in that manner.
Hope this clears your confusion guys

Argh! all this 'Society' is doing my head in now lol

Take care
Wassalaam

 

[Abdullah77]

Salaam,

They should remember that Kadijah (RA) was 40 when she married Rasool (peace be upon him) and bore him children. Can you imagine telling this magnificient woman she was too old to marry?? :astag:

Anyways, there you have the opinion of a med student who will be going into reproductive medicine, insh'Allah. Make what you will of it.

Wasalaam

:salam2:
Very good answer sister.