Serious Urgent help!!!

[muslimah_0428]

Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu, I got married to my husband in 2012 and got separated in a month due to the differences, lack of understanding, communication and trust. He would get angry on minute things and beat me for not initiating sex and staying in touch with my family after marriage. As my family got to know about his rudeness and unkind behavior they brought me back home. We tried reaching out to them to get divorce/khula but they never agreed to give divorce. My family had registered a case against my husband and his family under domestic violence. This case has been running from past 8 years. After that I moved to the US for higher studies. We were not in contact for many years but After 8 years, I contacted him to compromise and get divorce papers sign as I wanted settle down. But upon his interest and request we decided we should retry and give a chance to fix our marriage. Upon his constant pressure to meet him, I finally visited him (Dubai) with an intention if everything works out well we can get back together. I was with him for a month it was a rollercoaster ride as his behavior was not good all the time. He sometimes would get ferocious and beat me for taking action against him by registering a case. He was also good to me few days but this is for a little while. He is not putting any effort to make this relationship healthy. Instead he blames me for all the things happened in the past, blackmail me, threaten me that he would go to other women if I don't stay with him and always say he will make sure that I won't be able to get divorce so that he can keep me stuck in this relationship. He wants to start a family and he is putting pressure to stay with him until I conceive and later call him to the US applying his visa. I have no problem calling him or going back to him but he isn't understanding that his actions are hurting me and he should change his behavior towards me treat me good if really want this marriage to work. Moreover, Islam does not support to treat women the way he is treating me. Please guide me what I can do in this situation?

JazakAllahu khair!

 

[odobasicadel]

omg! It's really complicated
drift boss

 

[queenislam]

Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu, I got married to my husband in 2012 and got separated in a month due to the differences, lack of understanding, communication and trust. He would get angry on minute things and beat me for not initiating sex and staying in touch with my family after marriage. As my family got to know about his rudeness and unkind behavior they brought me back home. We tried reaching out to them to get divorce/khula but they never agreed to give divorce. My family had registered a case against my husband and his family under domestic violence. This case has been running from past 8 years. After that I moved to the US for higher studies. We were not in contact for many years but After 8 years, I contacted him to compromise and get divorce papers sign as I wanted settle down. But upon his interest and request we decided we should retry and give a chance to fix our marriage. Upon his constant pressure to meet him, I finally visited him (Dubai) with an intention if everything works out well we can get back together. I was with him for a month it was a rollercoaster ride as his behavior was not good all the time. He sometimes would get ferocious and beat me for taking action against him by registering a case. He was also good to me few days but this is for a little while. He is not putting any effort to make this relationship healthy. Instead he blames me for all the things happened in the past, blackmail me, threaten me that he would go to other women if I don't stay with him and always say he will make sure that I won't be able to get divorce so that he can keep me stuck in this relationship. He wants to start a family and he is putting pressure to stay with him until I conceive and later call him to the US applying his visa. I have no problem calling him or going back to him but he isn't understanding that his actions are hurting me and he should change his behavior towards me treat me good if really want this marriage to work. Moreover, Islam does not support to treat women the way he is treating me. Please guide me what I can do in this situation?

JazakAllahu khair!

Dearest sister,
Before further damage the relationship between himself and you , my first suggestion is you to bring him to specialist doctor to get a thoroughly medical check-up on him as i suspect he suffer some serious health issue and so ,this
could also mean he lack of vitamins and supplement , don't forget to contact his family for assistant to find a good ustadz , there must be something that seriously trigger this abnormality in him.
Inshaallah, you find the solution to your problem,
~May Allah swt help, protect and guide us ~Amin!

~Wassalam.

 

[ukhtiteenah]

Wa’laikum as salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu dear sister, may Allah azzawajal grant you peace وَ happiness in this world وَ ‎ أل next آمين. If you are still in America I suggest you call 1.Germantown Masjid located in Philadelphia Pennsylvania, or 2. Masjid Ibn Baz located in Philadelphia Pennsylvania to speak with the imams at either masjid. The treatment you are receiving مِنْ your husband habibti is not okay. وَ if you want to leave him these masjids will assist you ان شاء الله in getting away safely. Never feel pressured to stay in a marriage that is abusive.
Look at this hadith
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas (RA):
The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, "O Allah's Messenger, I do not find fault with Thabit bin Qais (RA) in respect of character or religion, but I dislike (and fear) that I might commit an act of Kufr fil-Islam (that which is contradictory to Islamic behavior)." Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) asked her, "Will you give him back his garden?" And she replied, "Yes," so Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to him, "Accept the garden and divorce her, with one pronouncement (of divorce)." [Reported by al-Bukhari].
Here a woman asked the Prophet ﷺ about divorcing her husband. وَ in this case the man did her لا harm but she still wished to divorce him وَ she was allowed ‎‎إلي. Habibti stay safe. وَ if you wish to keep trying to stay with him, look into marriage counseling at your local salafi masjid, this way the counseling will be upon the Quran & Sunnah.