Hello brothers and sisters!! I am not quit sure where to post this question. I have recently converted to Islam. But I am very very depressed. I have never felt like this before in my life. I haven't told my family. My mother recently passed away and I only have my father left from my parents. He is very conservative and stubborn but loves me. I am so afraid to lose him and that I can't enjoy things with him anymore. He wanted to go on a long trip with me to a beach resort to relax just the two of us but now I can't because I can't go to the beach like normal people and I can't eat in restaurants with alcohol. My grandmother is old and conservative but she will understand a little better I hope. I am hoping the same with my brother but I am so afraid to lose them. I envy my family for small things as to go to the restaurant. Enjoy a nice day by the sea at night. Traveling on a bus. Small nonsense but it feels as I might never do it again. I am going to lose my friends as well. I have a long distance relationship with a girl and I really like her. I feel so so so sad about the fact that I have to leave her. It is just so so very hard for me and I can't find the tranquility and the happiness I want. There are not many converts where I live so at the local mosque I face Arabs, Asians or Africans that seem to have their group and are born as Muslims. Or I face people that are not really Muslims that think I am odd to be there since I am white. It is difficult to not have anyone in my position. It feels as I have given up all my life and all that is good in my life. I will lose friends, my beloved family, my girlfriend and the daily duties. But I know Islam is the truth and I try to follow Allah since I am so afraid of the hell fire. I try and I try even if I feel so bad that I want to cry everyday.