muthmainnah
Junior Member
Assalamualaykum
I've got this nice article from an islamic forum. Hope it beneficial for brothers and sisters who want to get married.
enjoy.....
What to look for when looking for marriage partner
With respect to marriage, finding a partner is the first issue we face. For some Muslim brothers, the most important criterion when looking for a wife is that she must be as beautiful as a supermodel. This is the effect of the shallow western popular culture which places great emphasis on looks and beauty. In the West (and in many Muslim countries) women in adverts are beautiful, movie stars are beautiful, and women who are not so beautiful are always being pushed to find ways to be beautiful. For some Muslim sisters, the most important criterion is the partner’s wealth and status. So she may reject a teacher or restaurant worker (who has taqwa) because he earns less than £25,000 and is not a lawyer or a doctor. This is because society places great emphasis on wealth and status. For some parents, the most important criterion for a partner for their son or daughter is that he comes from the same tribe or country. So some Pakistanis would refuse a Bengali, some Bengalis would refuse a Pakistani, some Arabs would refuse Africans, some Africans would refuse Arabs and some Mirpuris would refuse Jhelumis. The ideas of nationalism and tribalism rear their ugly heads at these times even though Islam made them haram. Parents who refuse prospective partners on this un-Islamic basis cause immense corruption and frustration in the lives of this noble ummah. More often each year we see young Muslim men and women who are attracted to each other running away from home, or having haram relationships. Facing this form of oppression caused them to stop trusting their parents and respecting their feelings, so they even lost their respect for the Islamic rules about these issues. Such parents should remember the warning of our Prophet (saw). Abu Hatim al-Muzni (ra) narrated; “When someone proposes for your daughter and his character and morals are agreeable to you, then give to him in marriage. If you do not there will be tribulation and immense corruption in the earth.”
Islam made clear what we should look for in a partner. Abu Hurayrah (ra) reported that the Prophet (saw) said;
“A woman is married for four things; her wealth, lineage, beauty and Islamic character (deen). So gain success with the one who possesses a good character (deen).”
So the most important thing to look for in a partner is their Islamic character, though that is not the only thing one can look for. After all, which man will care for his wife properly except the one who has taqwa? Which woman will raise pious Muslim children except the one who has taqwa? We are allowed to seek beautiful women or men from good family backgrounds who are wealthy, but the most important factor is their deen. What a bonus it is if one finds a partner with good deen, wealth, lineage and beauty.
I've got this nice article from an islamic forum. Hope it beneficial for brothers and sisters who want to get married.
enjoy.....
What to look for when looking for marriage partner
With respect to marriage, finding a partner is the first issue we face. For some Muslim brothers, the most important criterion when looking for a wife is that she must be as beautiful as a supermodel. This is the effect of the shallow western popular culture which places great emphasis on looks and beauty. In the West (and in many Muslim countries) women in adverts are beautiful, movie stars are beautiful, and women who are not so beautiful are always being pushed to find ways to be beautiful. For some Muslim sisters, the most important criterion is the partner’s wealth and status. So she may reject a teacher or restaurant worker (who has taqwa) because he earns less than £25,000 and is not a lawyer or a doctor. This is because society places great emphasis on wealth and status. For some parents, the most important criterion for a partner for their son or daughter is that he comes from the same tribe or country. So some Pakistanis would refuse a Bengali, some Bengalis would refuse a Pakistani, some Arabs would refuse Africans, some Africans would refuse Arabs and some Mirpuris would refuse Jhelumis. The ideas of nationalism and tribalism rear their ugly heads at these times even though Islam made them haram. Parents who refuse prospective partners on this un-Islamic basis cause immense corruption and frustration in the lives of this noble ummah. More often each year we see young Muslim men and women who are attracted to each other running away from home, or having haram relationships. Facing this form of oppression caused them to stop trusting their parents and respecting their feelings, so they even lost their respect for the Islamic rules about these issues. Such parents should remember the warning of our Prophet (saw). Abu Hatim al-Muzni (ra) narrated; “When someone proposes for your daughter and his character and morals are agreeable to you, then give to him in marriage. If you do not there will be tribulation and immense corruption in the earth.”
Islam made clear what we should look for in a partner. Abu Hurayrah (ra) reported that the Prophet (saw) said;
“A woman is married for four things; her wealth, lineage, beauty and Islamic character (deen). So gain success with the one who possesses a good character (deen).”
So the most important thing to look for in a partner is their Islamic character, though that is not the only thing one can look for. After all, which man will care for his wife properly except the one who has taqwa? Which woman will raise pious Muslim children except the one who has taqwa? We are allowed to seek beautiful women or men from good family backgrounds who are wealthy, but the most important factor is their deen. What a bonus it is if one finds a partner with good deen, wealth, lineage and beauty.
