WHAT CAN I DO???

[ADAM786]

:salam2:

MY BROTHERS LIKES MY WIFE VERY MUCH COS SHE IS TALKING GREAT.

I KINDLY TOLD HER NOT TALK TO MY BROTHERS COS MY BROTHERS INGORES ME WHEN THEY SEE MY WIFE AND RATHER TALK TO HER THAN ME. SHE UNDERSTANDS OK BUT SHE STIL TALKING TO THEM. NEXT DAY, I GAVE HER A WARNING MESSAGE NOT TALK TO THEM AGAIN AND SHE SAID OK AGAIN. BUT I KEEP TELLING HER ABOUT 1 HOUR UNTIL SHE CRIED...SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH AND SHE CANT CHANGE HER OWN PERSONAL AND SHE IS TALKING MOST OF THE TIME AND WE (ME AND BROTHERS) ARE SHARING THE HOUSE. I FEAR I MIGHT BE MORE ANGRY...IF SHE STILL TALKING. WHAT CAN I DO? I UNDERSTAND HER PROBLEM BUT I CANT ACCEPT THAT SHE TALKING TO MY BROTHERS IF THEY INGORES ME. P.S I CANT TELL MY BROTHERS COS THEY WILL ANSWER ME BACK IN CRUEL WAY AND MAYBE....FIGHTING. I DONT WANT FIGHT.....HELP ME.

AND

DONT FORGET WE R NEW COUPLE FOR 3 WEEKS.

 

[dianek]

:salam2:

MY BROTHERS LIKES MY WIFE VERY MUCH COS SHE IS TALKING GREAT.

I KINDLY TOLD HER NOT TALK TO MY BROTHERS COS MY BROTHERS INGORES ME WHEN THEY SEE MY WIFE AND RATHER TALK TO HER THAN ME. SHE UNDERSTANDS OK BUT SHE STIL TALKING TO THEM. NEXT DAY, I GAVE HER A WARNING MESSAGE NOT TALK TO THEM AGAIN AND SHE SAID OK AGAIN. BUT I KEEP TELLING HER ABOUT 1 HOUR UNTIL SHE CRIED...SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH AND SHE CANT CHANGE HER OWN PERSONAL AND SHE IS TALKING MOST OF THE TIME AND WE (ME AND BROTHERS) ARE SHARING THE HOUSE. I FEAR I MIGHT BE MORE ANGRY...IF SHE STILL TALKING. WHAT CAN I DO? I UNDERSTAND HER PROBLEM BUT I CANT ACCEPT THAT SHE TALKING TO MY BROTHERS IF THEY INGORES ME. P.S I CANT TELL MY BROTHERS COS THEY WILL ANSWER ME BACK IN CRUEL WAY AND MAYBE....FIGHTING. I DONT WANT FIGHT.....HELP ME.

AND

DONT FORGET WE R NEW COUPLE FOR 3 WEEKS.

Are you saying that you live with your brothers and your wife talks to them? Well, move out if you don't like it. Provide you and your wife with your own home and if you could not provide that from the beginning, I don't think you should have married. ALSO, they are her brothers now too.......My husband has NO problems with me talking to his brothers, cousins etc......he only asks that I dress appropriately ( like no plunging necklines)........She is in a new family and wants to feel part of it. Give her a break and get over your insecurities. SHE MARRIED YOU!!!!!!!

 

[bint S]

:salam2:

the sister is right albeit a little bit harsh(sorry).
brother look into the reason that u feel insecure that she's talking to them and adress that and evrything will work out inshaallah, try to explain in a calm manner how u feel to her, and make time in the day that is only for you and her(may b go out somewhere for a walk together?) and please remember to make dua and ask Allah to make it easy for you.

best of all remember to be patient, patient, patient bcoz there is great virtue in patience.

:blackhijab::blackhijab::blackhijab:

 

[Optimist]

bro, I've had a look at your other posts. It looks like you are passing through a tough period and it is easy to blame your wife for that bad feelings you have. Dont let this blind your judgement. She is your way out. Please do not hurt her as you will regret it later.

Remember that having a seperate place to live is her right in Islam which she has wavered to be with you. You need to be patient. The prophet (pbuh) said: "the best of you are those best for their families".

You need to sit down with your wife and explain your feelings. Take your time. She is your rock. Once you both have helped each other out of this period your relationship will be much stronger. It is not uncommon to have stormy early marriage period.

May Allah grant you patience, wisdon & happiness.

 

[jabba]

:salam2:

MY BROTHERS LIKES MY WIFE VERY MUCH COS SHE IS TALKING GREAT.

I KINDLY TOLD HER NOT TALK TO MY BROTHERS COS MY BROTHERS INGORES ME WHEN THEY SEE MY WIFE AND RATHER TALK TO HER THAN ME. SHE UNDERSTANDS OK BUT SHE STIL TALKING TO THEM. NEXT DAY, I GAVE HER A WARNING MESSAGE NOT TALK TO THEM AGAIN AND SHE SAID OK AGAIN. BUT I KEEP TELLING HER ABOUT 1 HOUR UNTIL SHE CRIED...SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH AND SHE CANT CHANGE HER OWN PERSONAL AND SHE IS TALKING MOST OF THE TIME AND WE (ME AND BROTHERS) ARE SHARING THE HOUSE. I FEAR I MIGHT BE MORE ANGRY...IF SHE STILL TALKING. WHAT CAN I DO? I UNDERSTAND HER PROBLEM BUT I CANT ACCEPT THAT SHE TALKING TO MY BROTHERS IF THEY INGORES ME. P.S I CANT TELL MY BROTHERS COS THEY WILL ANSWER ME BACK IN CRUEL WAY AND MAYBE....FIGHTING. I DONT WANT FIGHT.....HELP ME.

AND

DONT FORGET WE R NEW COUPLE FOR 3 WEEKS.

:salam2:

Weren't you just here saying how you feel like your wife is more like your mom or sister because you are cousins?!!
We'll if she's your cousin she must be your brothers cousin too, cousins talk just not alone, and it's not just the fault of your wife but also your brother. Dianne K is 100% right and even though it was blunt you need to hear it, if you've only been married 3 weeks and things are going bad thats not a good sign, right now should be the "hunny moon" peroid where your forcus and love is on eachother, you shouldn't be making her cry, maybe you have confidence issues and should deal with that first instead of taking it out on your wife.

 

[dianek]

Sorry....didn't mean to be harsh......please forgive if I was. But, I truly believe in what I said. Are you the same gentleman who said he is having trouble controlling his anger and is afraid you might hit your wife? If so, have you considered getting some counseling? Please do so before your hurt your wife out of these jealousy fits. I am a little worried about her safety.

 

[tombstone]

Moving out is a good option

assalamu alaikum wrwb,

I dont think ur brothers become your wife's mahrams. i would suggest you move out with your wife to a new place. Its not nice to allow ones wife to talk to his brothers unnecessarily.

:salam2:

MY BROTHERS LIKES MY WIFE VERY MUCH COS SHE IS TALKING GREAT.

I KINDLY TOLD HER NOT TALK TO MY BROTHERS COS MY BROTHERS INGORES ME WHEN THEY SEE MY WIFE AND RATHER TALK TO HER THAN ME. SHE UNDERSTANDS OK BUT SHE STIL TALKING TO THEM. NEXT DAY, I GAVE HER A WARNING MESSAGE NOT TALK TO THEM AGAIN AND SHE SAID OK AGAIN. BUT I KEEP TELLING HER ABOUT 1 HOUR UNTIL SHE CRIED...SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH AND SHE CANT CHANGE HER OWN PERSONAL AND SHE IS TALKING MOST OF THE TIME AND WE (ME AND BROTHERS) ARE SHARING THE HOUSE. I FEAR I MIGHT BE MORE ANGRY...IF SHE STILL TALKING. WHAT CAN I DO? I UNDERSTAND HER PROBLEM BUT I CANT ACCEPT THAT SHE TALKING TO MY BROTHERS IF THEY INGORES ME. P.S I CANT TELL MY BROTHERS COS THEY WILL ANSWER ME BACK IN CRUEL WAY AND MAYBE....FIGHTING. I DONT WANT FIGHT.....HELP ME.

AND

DONT FORGET WE R NEW COUPLE FOR 3 WEEKS.

 

[Kayote]

:salam2:

MY BROTHERS LIKES MY WIFE VERY MUCH COS SHE IS TALKING GREAT.

I KINDLY TOLD HER NOT TALK TO MY BROTHERS COS MY BROTHERS INGORES ME WHEN THEY SEE MY WIFE AND RATHER TALK TO HER THAN ME. SHE UNDERSTANDS OK BUT SHE STIL TALKING TO THEM. NEXT DAY, I GAVE HER A WARNING MESSAGE NOT TALK TO THEM AGAIN AND SHE SAID OK AGAIN. BUT I KEEP TELLING HER ABOUT 1 HOUR UNTIL SHE CRIED...SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH AND SHE CANT CHANGE HER OWN PERSONAL AND SHE IS TALKING MOST OF THE TIME AND WE (ME AND BROTHERS) ARE SHARING THE HOUSE. I FEAR I MIGHT BE MORE ANGRY...IF SHE STILL TALKING. WHAT CAN I DO? I UNDERSTAND HER PROBLEM BUT I CANT ACCEPT THAT SHE TALKING TO MY BROTHERS IF THEY INGORES ME. P.S I CANT TELL MY BROTHERS COS THEY WILL ANSWER ME BACK IN CRUEL WAY AND MAYBE....FIGHTING. I DONT WANT FIGHT.....HELP ME.

AND

DONT FORGET WE R NEW COUPLE FOR 3 WEEKS.

Salam,

It looks like you are weak. You resort to scolding your wife when you cannot standup to your brothers! Brother, it is your responsibility to give her security and comfort and if you are insecure about her attitude, then you should find another place for you two to live in.

May Allah guide you but you yourself must be strong & UNDERSTANDING!

Allah Hafiz

 

[ADAM786]

Salam,

It looks like you are weak. You resort to scolding your wife when you cannot standup to your brothers! Brother, it is your responsibility to give her security and comfort and if you are insecure about her attitude, then you should find another place for you two to live in.

May Allah guide you but you yourself must be strong & UNDERSTANDING!

Allah Hafiz

AM I WEAK??? I DONT THINK SO COS MY BROTHER WAS HAVING SEX WITH LOTS OF GIRLS...NOW HE STOPS BUT HE TOLD ME HE COULD BACK TO HAVING SEX WITH GIRLS. I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER....MAYBE HE WANTS TO HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE COS HE IS ALWAYS TALKING TO MY WIFE.

 

[ADAM786]

Sorry....didn't mean to be harsh......please forgive if I was. But, I truly believe in what I said. Are you the same gentleman who said he is having trouble controlling his anger and is afraid you might hit your wife? If so, have you considered getting some counseling? Please do so before your hurt your wife out of these jealousy fits. I am a little worried about her safety.

U WHAT? U THINK I AM GOING TO BEAT HIM UP????:astag: U GOT WRONG MAN HERE!!!

 

[ADAM786]

U WHAT? U THINK I AM GOING TO BEAT HIM UP????:astag: U GOT WRONG MAN HERE!!!

I MEANT HER

 

[dianek]

There was a user on here that thought he might get so angry he would beat his wife.....was only asking if that person was you. Very good and alhumdullilah you are not!

But do move you and your wife out of the house.

 

[a_brother]

live at another place

:salam2:

brother, find another place (so you be in peace with your wife and brothers)
your wife is not the problem, the mixture of your wife with your brothers is the problem. so please find another place to live in. if you got another wife in the same house with your brothers, you would still have a BIG problem. don't try to go in a circle AND JUST GET YOU ANOTHER PLACE TO LIVE with your wife.

 

[najbc]

:salam2:

MY BROTHERS LIKES MY WIFE VERY MUCH COS SHE IS TALKING GREAT.

I KINDLY TOLD HER NOT TALK TO MY BROTHERS COS MY BROTHERS INGORES ME WHEN THEY SEE MY WIFE AND RATHER TALK TO HER THAN ME. SHE UNDERSTANDS OK BUT SHE STIL TALKING TO THEM. NEXT DAY, I GAVE HER A WARNING MESSAGE NOT TALK TO THEM AGAIN AND SHE SAID OK AGAIN. BUT I KEEP TELLING HER ABOUT 1 HOUR UNTIL SHE CRIED...SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH AND SHE CANT CHANGE HER OWN PERSONAL AND SHE IS TALKING MOST OF THE TIME AND WE (ME AND BROTHERS) ARE SHARING THE HOUSE. I FEAR I MIGHT BE MORE ANGRY...IF SHE STILL TALKING. WHAT CAN I DO? I UNDERSTAND HER PROBLEM BUT I CANT ACCEPT THAT SHE TALKING TO MY BROTHERS IF THEY INGORES ME. P.S I CANT TELL MY BROTHERS COS THEY WILL ANSWER ME BACK IN CRUEL WAY AND MAYBE....FIGHTING. I DONT WANT FIGHT.....HELP ME.

AND

DONT FORGET WE R NEW COUPLE FOR 3 WEEKS.

You must be the jealousy type (no offend), what I understand from your story is you and your wife share a house with your brothers and you want your wife to stop talking to your brothers. You are lucky to have a nice wife, I would be frustrate if I was her for the fact you have me be share a house with your brothers and you are telling me to not talk to them. Serious bro, how can you tell someone to stop talking to someone they live with. you are selfish for looking at what you want, think about your wife for a second and put your shoes in her shoes, try to image living in a house with your wife and her sisters and you been nice and open guy and your wife telling you to not to talk to her sisters. I would tell you to move out or stop telling your wife to not talk with your brothers. You never know what you have until you loss, no girl dreams to be share a house with her brothers in law. So, step up brother and talk with your wife and figure out what you and your wife want out of life because I am sure your wife have the same hope and plans just like you.

 

[bint S]

AM I WEAK??? I DONT THINK SO COS MY BROTHER WAS HAVING SEX WITH LOTS OF GIRLS...NOW HE STOPS BUT HE TOLD ME HE COULD BACK TO HAVING SEX WITH GIRLS. I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER....MAYBE HE WANTS TO HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE COS HE IS ALWAYS TALKING TO MY WIFE.

sounds to me like u've got an inferiority complex where ua brother is concerned (just my opinion, i cud b wrong here), try sorting it out b4 it eats u up completely. Even if u were to move out unless u were to ban him he would still come to visit u as families do:blackhijab:

 

[Munawar]

:salam2:

MY BROTHERS LIKES MY WIFE VERY MUCH COS SHE IS TALKING GREAT.

I KINDLY TOLD HER NOT TALK TO MY BROTHERS COS MY BROTHERS INGORES ME WHEN THEY SEE MY WIFE AND RATHER TALK TO HER THAN ME. SHE UNDERSTANDS OK BUT SHE STIL TALKING TO THEM. NEXT DAY, I GAVE HER A WARNING MESSAGE NOT TALK TO THEM AGAIN AND SHE SAID OK AGAIN. BUT I KEEP TELLING HER ABOUT 1 HOUR UNTIL SHE CRIED...SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH AND SHE CANT CHANGE HER OWN PERSONAL AND SHE IS TALKING MOST OF THE TIME AND WE (ME AND BROTHERS) ARE SHARING THE HOUSE. I FEAR I MIGHT BE MORE ANGRY...IF SHE STILL TALKING. WHAT CAN I DO? I UNDERSTAND HER PROBLEM BUT I CANT ACCEPT THAT SHE TALKING TO MY BROTHERS IF THEY INGORES ME. P.S I CANT TELL MY BROTHERS COS THEY WILL ANSWER ME BACK IN CRUEL WAY AND MAYBE....FIGHTING. I DONT WANT FIGHT.....HELP ME.

AND

DONT FORGET WE R NEW COUPLE FOR 3 WEEKS.

AM I WEAK??? I DONT THINK SO COS MY BROTHER WAS HAVING SEX WITH LOTS OF GIRLS...NOW HE STOPS BUT HE TOLD ME HE COULD BACK TO HAVING SEX WITH GIRLS. I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER....MAYBE HE WANTS TO HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE COS HE IS ALWAYS TALKING TO MY WIFE.

I don't know how to catagorize you. Are you really that ignorant that you are putting all these material here for fun, or, are you really what you appear in your posts.

I think it woud be much nicer if you ask yourself before posting all this material, if this is really worth posting. IMHO.

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

Assalam,

Sorry brother but i am going with brother Munawar on this becasue i saw that some of your posts plus the threads you created and i am having trouble deciding if you are for real or not. But i am not judging you so if you are truly having this problem(put aside your responses), my advice as a sister would be to move out. Putting myself in your wife shoes i wouldn't want to live with my in-laws especailly brother in-laws who are marriageable to me so may be this is a way for the sister to expers her feeling hoping that you would say enough and move out to get your own apartment with her of course. Good Luck!!

 

[A'ISHA888]

salamalakium!

ok brother i will tell u my personal opinion when i first got married i was a fairly new muslim and new just the basics and at the time me and my husband lived with his brother and cousin but soon after the cousin moved out and it was just me and him and his brother so i was use to communicating with them on a regular basis not nothing serious just small talk hows your kids ,wife ect..but when my husband told me to stop i stopped i kept my distance and yes it was hard but i knew enough of the quran to kno that the thing that pleases allah the most is the women who is obiedient to her husband and does what he asks of her but also its not just n your wife you should sit and talk with your brothers about there deen and manners they should know better to stop talking to her cousin or not they should not be interacting like this,also soon after i got married my husband moved me into my own house alhumdulilah and if this is not a option you should try to make it happen as soon as possible,but the whole change of being married takes time so dont rush this small issue because trust me there will be others and if yo have your mom or someone (a women) close to you to maybe go over some verses in the quran and hadiths about the women associating with men and if she loves allah (swt) more then anything inshallah god will make these changes easy for her,u guys make prayer together ,this is who god chose for u s respect her feeling she will respect u in return .

 

[aisha-uk]

AM I WEAK??? I DONT THINK SO COS MY BROTHER WAS HAVING SEX WITH LOTS OF GIRLS...NOW HE STOPS BUT HE TOLD ME HE COULD BACK TO HAVING SEX WITH GIRLS. I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER....MAYBE HE WANTS TO HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE COS HE IS ALWAYS TALKING TO MY WIFE.

Salam Alaikum brother

SubhanAllah i don't see a reason of why u should expose another person's sins and i don't think this information is relevant to the thread..

If u are so concerned, then u need to find another accommodation.. Or spend more time with ur wife, learn about islam and such..

 

[sumaya_graham]

Assalam alaikum

I've been reading all the threads and I'm somewhat surprised by the whole thing. Brother, I don't know your situation but whatever it is, it means you and your wife are living with your family.

I think it is pretty impossible to be living with people and not talk to them. What kind of an atmosphere is there going to be if your wife can't talk to anybody?

I think you should be very caring to your wife, as she is being patient and at the moment she has married you when you don't have a home. This is very hard for a women.

Put yourself in her situation. She's just got married, she doesn't know you all that weel as you haven't been together all that long. So she has to get to know you, and on top of that she has all the family there, that she has to live with.

No matter how nice your family is and how nice she is. It is only natural that is going to feel that eveyone is looking at "the new wife" and she may feel uncomfortable with this. It isn't the same haveing the family around every now and then to living with them all the time. She may feel that shes is constantly be watched, for example, if she cooks nice food, if she cares for you properly, if she is a good wife in general. This a very difficult for any women. Even if your wife is the best wife in the world I'm sure that she will still feel uncomfortable.

She will want to fit in with your family and make you happy. Perhaps she is shy and if your brother speaks to her she doesn't want to seem unkind by ignoring him.

But another thing comes up to. Just because your brother like to be with lots of girls, do you really think he is such a horrible person that he would sleep with your wife? and while you are all living together? I think that in any household, it could be muslim or christian or whatever, it is very very far fetched to think that your brother is going to sleep with your "newlywed bride".

I think that you are being unthoughtful for your wife. She is living with people that she doens't really know, she'll feel that everything she does is being watched and on top of that you are tellin her off and making her cry. Alhamdulilah, it seems you have a very patient wife. You should thank Allah and make an effort to please her not make her cry. It is very bad for a husband to make her wife cry like that. You should be taking care of her and loving her.

As somebody else has said, this is your honeymoon time, you should be cuddling her and showing her kindness. If you can't do that now brother I think that you will have many problems.

Us women are very sensitive and we can only take a certain ammount of rejection, hurt and upset.

Give her a big hug and forget about all these silly things.

Insha Allah I hope that you will be able to get over these "teething problems" and that you may be very happy together. And if possible try to get a home of your own. Even if you haven't got much money, it doesn't matter. Try to get a small home, anything but try and sort something out.

Fi amanillah and I wish you all the est, Insha Allah.
Sumaya