What is the correct view on divorce if the wife is pregnant?
- Thread starter I.Iman
- Start date
Assalaam walaikum,
Sister,
There are very specific rulings on divorce. There are prescirbed time periods. It is best to seek the advise of an imam.
I strongly urge you from the bottom of my heart to tell the couple to seek reconiclation. Please have the family members intervene to avoid divorce.
Short of divorce there are many many ways to sort out the problems.
A woman is so fragile during pregnancy any stress is not good for both mother nor the unborn child. She needs a very supportive environment.
Often people are encouraged to divorce. But, it is the last resort. It is very difficult on a woman. The aftermath of divorce is not something that goes away. If children are involved it makes matters worse. I am talking the whole nine yards.
The question arises...would the sister be willing to give up her child to the father when the time comes; the child is his...yeah...there are long term consequences of divorce.
Sabr. I can not say that enough. Please tell the couple to talk to family members to help, first.
Sister,
There are very specific rulings on divorce. There are prescirbed time periods. It is best to seek the advise of an imam.
I strongly urge you from the bottom of my heart to tell the couple to seek reconiclation. Please have the family members intervene to avoid divorce.
Short of divorce there are many many ways to sort out the problems.
A woman is so fragile during pregnancy any stress is not good for both mother nor the unborn child. She needs a very supportive environment.
Often people are encouraged to divorce. But, it is the last resort. It is very difficult on a woman. The aftermath of divorce is not something that goes away. If children are involved it makes matters worse. I am talking the whole nine yards.
The question arises...would the sister be willing to give up her child to the father when the time comes; the child is his...yeah...there are long term consequences of divorce.
Sabr. I can not say that enough. Please tell the couple to talk to family members to help, first.
strive-may-i
Junior Member
The Idda period
:salam2:
Ah , a painful situation. Who has initiated it, why? Is there no possibility of reconciliation?? Did couple seek the help of mutually trusted arbitrators? Did the couple talk to a Imaam familiar in these matters?? There are other question to ask.
If this thread is for knowledge seeking then The Iddah period matters, For a pregnant women its till the pregnancy completes.
Read this TTI Article:
Here are the Quran Aya's in this matter [I might have missed ]::
:salam2:
Ah , a painful situation. Who has initiated it, why? Is there no possibility of reconciliation?? Did couple seek the help of mutually trusted arbitrators? Did the couple talk to a Imaam familiar in these matters?? There are other question to ask.
If this thread is for knowledge seeking then The Iddah period matters, For a pregnant women its till the pregnancy completes.
Read this TTI Article:
Here are the Quran Aya's in this matter [I might have missed ]::
a_stranger
Junior Member
:salam2:
Before divorce, did they try all the other ways to solve their problems? I think they , their families , their friends should all try to solve their problems with pure intention to please Allah subhanahu wa taaala. What is the fault of the children to loose one of their parents?
Before divorce, did they try all the other ways to solve their problems? I think they , their families , their friends should all try to solve their problems with pure intention to please Allah subhanahu wa taaala. What is the fault of the children to loose one of their parents?
Assalaam walaikum,
In Islam there is a huge jump to divorce. Please tell the couple to listen to what is being written here.
Have the couple spoken to family members. Is the cause of problems financial? A pregnant woman alone is not healthy but she can not be in a stressful environment. The unborn babe is the future. Babies bring blessings.
What on earth could be so wrong that the individuals in this couple can not think of the blessing that is given to them. What is so urgent that they have to split. What can not wait. Where is the love? Where is the love that was present when the child was conceived.
We will make dua, InshaAllah..but please sister, for the love of Allah, tell them to take time to talk it out with family members present.
In Islam there is a huge jump to divorce. Please tell the couple to listen to what is being written here.
Have the couple spoken to family members. Is the cause of problems financial? A pregnant woman alone is not healthy but she can not be in a stressful environment. The unborn babe is the future. Babies bring blessings.
What on earth could be so wrong that the individuals in this couple can not think of the blessing that is given to them. What is so urgent that they have to split. What can not wait. Where is the love? Where is the love that was present when the child was conceived.
We will make dua, InshaAllah..but please sister, for the love of Allah, tell them to take time to talk it out with family members present.
strive-may-i
Junior Member
Yes!!
Babies bring blessings, Babies bring the future, babies bring one of the most beautiful transformation a being (humans, even animals they say) perceives, namely
... mother
... father
strive-may-i
Junior Member
Is it a generic question or for applying to a personal problem?
You ask some serious questions related to family matters. Its not a bad thing, its welcome. Each family situation is different, family situations need solution and not legal stands. Some personal questions we believe needs more attention and a internet forum might not be in best body in resolving the problem.
The worry here we have is that, is this being applied to someone's personal situation? If so, then the first step is to try and resolve the problem which prevents the marriage from continuing smoothly.
Giving more context to the question often helps. So more context please...
You ask some serious questions related to family matters. Its not a bad thing, its welcome. Each family situation is different, family situations need solution and not legal stands. Some personal questions we believe needs more attention and a internet forum might not be in best body in resolving the problem.
The worry here we have is that, is this being applied to someone's personal situation? If so, then the first step is to try and resolve the problem which prevents the marriage from continuing smoothly.
Giving more context to the question often helps. So more context please...
Assalaam walaikum,
If remaining in the home is going to be stressful for the wife and the unborn; the wife is in a fragile state. Stress is not good. Let me be blunt: if the man remains in the home and the stress is so great that it would lead to a miscarriage why would he stay there?!!!
I can not imagine how a man would contemplate divorce when she is bearing his child. What impatience is this.
You keep asking questions but the fact that this is a family matter and not a matter between the couple. The couple must seek help from the family and/or community. This is not about individual decisions. There is a voice that is not heard. The family must take over and be that voice of reason.
We are told to be kind to women in such conditions. What could be happening that would make a man leave a woman in such a condition.
It is spelled out. The couple needs reasonable and sane voices to intervene. That is the Islamic approach.
A child is a treasure in life. A child is the good that we sometimes forget we have. Whatever the issues are for this couple, step back and think of the bigger picture.
Are they praying?
If remaining in the home is going to be stressful for the wife and the unborn; the wife is in a fragile state. Stress is not good. Let me be blunt: if the man remains in the home and the stress is so great that it would lead to a miscarriage why would he stay there?!!!
I can not imagine how a man would contemplate divorce when she is bearing his child. What impatience is this.
You keep asking questions but the fact that this is a family matter and not a matter between the couple. The couple must seek help from the family and/or community. This is not about individual decisions. There is a voice that is not heard. The family must take over and be that voice of reason.
We are told to be kind to women in such conditions. What could be happening that would make a man leave a woman in such a condition.
It is spelled out. The couple needs reasonable and sane voices to intervene. That is the Islamic approach.
A child is a treasure in life. A child is the good that we sometimes forget we have. Whatever the issues are for this couple, step back and think of the bigger picture.
Are they praying?
lostlilly07
striving 4 Firadous
wa alaikum salaam,
The whole idea is that the two people stay in the house with possiblity of reconciling their marriage. and Allaah's knows best.
The whole idea is that the two people stay in the house with possiblity of reconciling their marriage. and Allaah's knows best.
Aapa: This is not something that "could" happen. I have seen it happen several times in our Ummah. That's why I am asking. Unfortunately marriage, even in Islam, is something that we see more and more of.
You said the wife have to give up her child later, if they divorce. Would you please explain this.
Jazakallah kheir.
You said the wife have to give up her child later, if they divorce. Would you please explain this.
Jazakallah kheir.
Assalaam walaikum,
I do not have my texts with me...so do not quote me...but there is a precedence in Islam that the father is the provider for children. Thus, children are usually under the custody of the father. There is even an age given. I apologize for the lack of proof...
It frees the female to remarry.
Although divorce is becoming more common in Islam it is still not good. I know. I am twice divorced. I know the hardships that women face. I would not wish that upon anyone. You live in a quasi world. I have written articles on the pain of this existence.
I have been a certified marriage counselor...I could fix marriages ( haha, but mine) the core issues are related to communication. And in Islam, we are given the path to follow.
Most divorce is a rush to look at the greener grass on the other side of the fence. It is haste. Most people do not follow the prescribed Islamic solutions.
And I will say it again..shame on the man that leaves his wife in such a condition. Does he really think it will be easier on him..Fool.
When couples are in dispute they are not at one with their deen. They are not following what we have been told to do. Sabr. Dua. Zakat, Swaim.. ( I am beginning to sound like a fundamentalist).
Islam gives us the opportunity to leave the duyna outside our doorstep. When we step into our homes they smell sweet because of the blessings of Allah. Couples have ample opportunity to count the blessings of Allah.
Sorry for going a little crazy; People do not understand that things in life are connected. Say a man leaves his pregnant wife. He will not gain blessings. Yeah, I'll say it..that is not a man but a coward.
I apologize.
I do not have my texts with me...so do not quote me...but there is a precedence in Islam that the father is the provider for children. Thus, children are usually under the custody of the father. There is even an age given. I apologize for the lack of proof...
It frees the female to remarry.
Although divorce is becoming more common in Islam it is still not good. I know. I am twice divorced. I know the hardships that women face. I would not wish that upon anyone. You live in a quasi world. I have written articles on the pain of this existence.
I have been a certified marriage counselor...I could fix marriages ( haha, but mine) the core issues are related to communication. And in Islam, we are given the path to follow.
Most divorce is a rush to look at the greener grass on the other side of the fence. It is haste. Most people do not follow the prescribed Islamic solutions.
And I will say it again..shame on the man that leaves his wife in such a condition. Does he really think it will be easier on him..Fool.
When couples are in dispute they are not at one with their deen. They are not following what we have been told to do. Sabr. Dua. Zakat, Swaim.. ( I am beginning to sound like a fundamentalist).
Islam gives us the opportunity to leave the duyna outside our doorstep. When we step into our homes they smell sweet because of the blessings of Allah. Couples have ample opportunity to count the blessings of Allah.
Sorry for going a little crazy; People do not understand that things in life are connected. Say a man leaves his pregnant wife. He will not gain blessings. Yeah, I'll say it..that is not a man but a coward.
I apologize.
No need for apologize.
I have my personal experiences of being left alone during pregnancy, but that was before I turned to Islam. And now, alhamdulillah I have a husband that would do anything for me and the children, inshaallah.
I am not so well educated in divorce and custudy laws in Islam. Although I must say if a husband doesn't care about his child/children and leave a pregnant women - how, how can he claim the children later? That's not fair to the children and they might not even know him. Should they just have to leave their safe environment because the husband has the "right"? Doesn't Islam takes theese things in consideration and the fact that a child might have grown up with his/her brothers?
I really need to study this matter more, inshaallah.
And Aapa, often we are more capable of solving other peoples matters than our own. Because we are not being objective.
It would really be interesting reading some of your work.
:tti_sister:
I have my personal experiences of being left alone during pregnancy, but that was before I turned to Islam. And now, alhamdulillah I have a husband that would do anything for me and the children, inshaallah.
I am not so well educated in divorce and custudy laws in Islam. Although I must say if a husband doesn't care about his child/children and leave a pregnant women - how, how can he claim the children later? That's not fair to the children and they might not even know him. Should they just have to leave their safe environment because the husband has the "right"? Doesn't Islam takes theese things in consideration and the fact that a child might have grown up with his/her brothers?
I really need to study this matter more, inshaallah.
And Aapa, often we are more capable of solving other peoples matters than our own. Because we are not being objective.
It would really be interesting reading some of your work.
:tti_sister:
Assalaam walaikum,
I had my share of roller coaster rides.
The thing about Islam is that Allah subhana wa taala is the Disposer of Affairs.
And you are correct some things seem so problematic to us in this light. Yet, and trust me sister..it took me many years to really practice my faith, once you start to study the body of Islamic works, it is endless.
The provisions that Islamic jurisprudence has set for divorce are fair. In the long and even the short of it they are fair.
Marriage is critical in Islam. The family intervenes and that is written in the laws of Islam. Marriage is the backbone of society. Think of this: can you imagine a man going to his mother and saying oh mom by the way I am leaving my pregers wife...No. Family is important and powerful.
Please take the time to study. I have read several/many/tons of books and things start to jumble up in my mind. I recall the core knowledge.
( nay..sister I am patient..I stayed in a marriage looking for sunshine, lollipops and rainbows for thirteen years..knowing in my heart that it was over in three weeks..read a lot of books..)
I had my share of roller coaster rides.
The thing about Islam is that Allah subhana wa taala is the Disposer of Affairs.
And you are correct some things seem so problematic to us in this light. Yet, and trust me sister..it took me many years to really practice my faith, once you start to study the body of Islamic works, it is endless.
The provisions that Islamic jurisprudence has set for divorce are fair. In the long and even the short of it they are fair.
Marriage is critical in Islam. The family intervenes and that is written in the laws of Islam. Marriage is the backbone of society. Think of this: can you imagine a man going to his mother and saying oh mom by the way I am leaving my pregers wife...No. Family is important and powerful.
Please take the time to study. I have read several/many/tons of books and things start to jumble up in my mind. I recall the core knowledge.
( nay..sister I am patient..I stayed in a marriage looking for sunshine, lollipops and rainbows for thirteen years..knowing in my heart that it was over in three weeks..read a lot of books..)
strive-may-i
Junior Member
:salam2:
Thats where scholars/jurists/Imaams who are familiar in such matters come into picture, to derive at correct conclusions. If you have a bend of mind, that is good in being Just, counselling, ground in sound shariah basis, Its better for to study and discuss with an experienced person in this serious subject.
If the husband /wife have had a bring-the-house-down-fight, with the lady expecting, now thats not good... The baby in womb/ mother needs peace... (Its a harsh world sometimes! ). And from what I can imagine, the scar lasts for a long long time, not just in the couple but in the kids also...
When there is a fight they say the third person makes the most, and in the cases of divorce, I strongly feel, in most cases its the lawyer who runs away with most benefit!!! Breaking a house is bad business...
Each case is unique, each family unique... In most cases its some minor stumbling block, a temporary disconnect that can be rectified with help [okay not my own conclusion, but from statistics
]. Its especially so incase of families, where the husband /wife are god fearing [irrespective of religion] or are sensible human being ...Here are something more
... Divorce (talaaq) in the state of anger; and is it necessary to have witnesses to divorce?
... Ruling on divorcing in jest
... Ruling on abortion, divorcing a pregnant woman and putting pressure on a wife to make her give up her rights
... He divorced her and took her back three times during pregnancy
There are more cases and rulings thats not covered in IslamQA.