lightofnur
Junior Member
OK, here's the thing. I have read before :
Abu Hurayah reported that Allah's Messenger said:
"A son of Adam's share of zina has been predestined for him, and he will inevitably fulfill that. Thus the eyes commit zina by looking, the ears commit zina by listening, the tongue commits zina by speaking, the mouth commits zina by kissing, the hands commits zina by acting (or touching) the foot commits zina by walking (toward the sin) the soul (or heart) wishes and desires (the sin) and the private part confirms all of that or desires it"
(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim).
The thing that scared me is that people have been saying that there is such thing as zina of the heart - based on the hadith above. And they say it does not merely mean fantasizing about someone in a sexual manner - or desiring of a certain someone in a wrongful way only; but they claim that should we fall in love with someone/crush on someone at a young age (not necessarily when you are older and wish to marry that person), it is haram.
They base these claims on :
1)We fantasizing on them - but not in any sexual way of thinking - merely daydreaming about them as any person crushing on another would.
2)We miss them. (But even if we don't talk/mingle/be alone/gaze longingly at the person we crush on, they still claim it is wrong if we miss that certain someone we love).
3)Our love for Allah will be challenged.
It has left me quite confused and scared. I admit that as a normal girl, I DID have a crush on a certain someone (and I am still young, around my teens), but as soon as I read about people saying that it is wrong to do the above things - let alone crush on someone - I immediately tried to cease liking that person. With much difficulty, I have finally been able to let go. But as for other people, they find it harder, and have much more difficulties than I had. They have a complex and are struggling. They are scared to have a crush on someone, should it be haram.
Also, those who have made the claims above (certain renown and learned ustaz, ulama, etc.) have even claimed that the hadith above have been backed with even more proof from this verse :
[17.32] "Do not draw near to fornication, for it is an indecency, and its way is evil." (Surah Al-Isra'17: ayat: 32)
When other people say we are not committing zina, the answer they would give is the verse above, which means "do not draw near" itself.
Now, I respect those ulama, ustaz, etc. for they are learned people, and have out best interests in heart, but this has also left me confused and unsure. With my peers it is the same.
On the other hand, some other respected religious ulama, ustaz, etc. have said, that feelings are something that come naturally. We do not ask for it. They claim that if our feelings are in check and are not in excess, and are controlled in the right manner, all is well. They also say that we should not act on those feelings (dating, mingling, flirting, etc.). We should merely keep them in our hearts as a crush. If we are older, and want to marry, then we may do so with the ones we have feelings for. But as for now, in our teens, we should keep those feelings to ourselves and in check.
The real question is here, is that - is it possible to have a crush on someone at a young age? Without doing any wrongful acts as stated, merely having a crush. Is that haram? This has caused a bit of confusion among some Muslims - who in my school, are afraid to have a crush on someone in fear that it may be haram. Is there any proper answer to this question? Which opinion is right? I love Allah, and will accept whatever it is, but I only need an answer to this.
P.S: I've also heard that Fatimah (the Prophet's daughter) used to have a crush on Ali bin Abi Talib for a while before they grew up and married.
Abu Hurayah reported that Allah's Messenger said:
"A son of Adam's share of zina has been predestined for him, and he will inevitably fulfill that. Thus the eyes commit zina by looking, the ears commit zina by listening, the tongue commits zina by speaking, the mouth commits zina by kissing, the hands commits zina by acting (or touching) the foot commits zina by walking (toward the sin) the soul (or heart) wishes and desires (the sin) and the private part confirms all of that or desires it"
(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim).
The thing that scared me is that people have been saying that there is such thing as zina of the heart - based on the hadith above. And they say it does not merely mean fantasizing about someone in a sexual manner - or desiring of a certain someone in a wrongful way only; but they claim that should we fall in love with someone/crush on someone at a young age (not necessarily when you are older and wish to marry that person), it is haram.
They base these claims on :
1)We fantasizing on them - but not in any sexual way of thinking - merely daydreaming about them as any person crushing on another would.
2)We miss them. (But even if we don't talk/mingle/be alone/gaze longingly at the person we crush on, they still claim it is wrong if we miss that certain someone we love).
3)Our love for Allah will be challenged.
It has left me quite confused and scared. I admit that as a normal girl, I DID have a crush on a certain someone (and I am still young, around my teens), but as soon as I read about people saying that it is wrong to do the above things - let alone crush on someone - I immediately tried to cease liking that person. With much difficulty, I have finally been able to let go. But as for other people, they find it harder, and have much more difficulties than I had. They have a complex and are struggling. They are scared to have a crush on someone, should it be haram.
Also, those who have made the claims above (certain renown and learned ustaz, ulama, etc.) have even claimed that the hadith above have been backed with even more proof from this verse :
[17.32] "Do not draw near to fornication, for it is an indecency, and its way is evil." (Surah Al-Isra'17: ayat: 32)
When other people say we are not committing zina, the answer they would give is the verse above, which means "do not draw near" itself.
Now, I respect those ulama, ustaz, etc. for they are learned people, and have out best interests in heart, but this has also left me confused and unsure. With my peers it is the same.
On the other hand, some other respected religious ulama, ustaz, etc. have said, that feelings are something that come naturally. We do not ask for it. They claim that if our feelings are in check and are not in excess, and are controlled in the right manner, all is well. They also say that we should not act on those feelings (dating, mingling, flirting, etc.). We should merely keep them in our hearts as a crush. If we are older, and want to marry, then we may do so with the ones we have feelings for. But as for now, in our teens, we should keep those feelings to ourselves and in check.
The real question is here, is that - is it possible to have a crush on someone at a young age? Without doing any wrongful acts as stated, merely having a crush. Is that haram? This has caused a bit of confusion among some Muslims - who in my school, are afraid to have a crush on someone in fear that it may be haram. Is there any proper answer to this question? Which opinion is right? I love Allah, and will accept whatever it is, but I only need an answer to this.
P.S: I've also heard that Fatimah (the Prophet's daughter) used to have a crush on Ali bin Abi Talib for a while before they grew up and married.
,
said: