ChebbaTan
Junior Member
Assalam Waleikum once again,
I'm a 21 years-old Portuguese girl and I am very glad for having discovered this community. I've always had a big curiosity about Islam and and always admired the values of muslims, but unfortunately I had few information and I didn't met pious muslims when I was younger. However, when I was a teen, I became member of a so-called Cristhian organization that works like a sect because I believed it was the Truth, and that I would become a better person on a worldwide brotherwood. I was so naïve back then, and I tried to be as pious as I can, because I grew up with values and I took my vows seriously. However, their doctrines changed and I discovered they've always changed according to the will of some men, not according to the Bible. I saw lack of love there, fake smiles, fake brotherwood, privileges for the important families, and I was always avoided by the young people there because they said I was "the saint", altough I'm a normal person and I was surrounded by holier-than-thou hypocrates, that pretended in front of people to be pious but they were not. I became a bitter, confused person...
Once I hadn't friends in this sect, I began to have friends from different religions at school and I was criticized for that, later I went to college, and I was criticised for that decision, too. Altough it is forbidden, I began to search about this sect, and I confirmed my suspects, they are not truly Christians... Due to this experience, I was angry towards every religion and I tried to give my values away and I became interested in the paranormal and new-age philosophies even doubting about God Himself.
However, during my most confused period, I went to another European city to work alone, and it was during my stay there that my personality was under a huge test. I had many temptations there, and I realised my values were part of me, I couldn't get rid of them, and I resisted tempations. In a city with more than 30% of muslims, I was for the first time meeting their community, and I felt they truly lived their faith and I felt at home amongst them altough I was not muslim, I was respected by them and the seed of my curiosity begin to grow up... They were hated by many non-muslims but I didn't understand why because they conveyed me peace and safety...
When I returned to my country, I still was confused, and I decided to get rid of the bitterness caused by sect, and secretely I become to learn about different faiths, and lately, I began to seriously study about Islam since some moths ago. I'm feeling a peace I never felt before once I know this is the purest monotheist faith I've ever met. I regret so much my attempt to lose my values, to involve with witchcraft things, to forget God... I feel ashamed of myself for those ideas I had and I pray to God for forgiveness.
I can see clearly now that Islam is the right path to mankind, and I'm so happy for increasing my knowledge about the Quran as I compare it to my previous beliefs, they didn't changed radically though and I find my religion so opressive when I compared it to Islam... I'm feeling mentally free and closer to God, however I still belong to my sect and they don't even imagine what's happening, they think I'm a sinner, as the most part of them are, and I can't leave it suddenly, otherwise I will severely suffer consequences and my relation with my mother will be damaged by them. I need to be patient...
I'm being as discrete as possible and I continue to learn more and more... I wish one day I get my independence to be free to learn even more and inshAllah to convert. Here, I hope to get some explainations to some questions I have...
If I hadn't found Islam, I would be lost right now, alhamdullilah I found the right path to submit myself to the only true God,
I'm sorry for this huge text,
My sincere and kind regards,
ChebbaTan
I'm a 21 years-old Portuguese girl and I am very glad for having discovered this community. I've always had a big curiosity about Islam and and always admired the values of muslims, but unfortunately I had few information and I didn't met pious muslims when I was younger. However, when I was a teen, I became member of a so-called Cristhian organization that works like a sect because I believed it was the Truth, and that I would become a better person on a worldwide brotherwood. I was so naïve back then, and I tried to be as pious as I can, because I grew up with values and I took my vows seriously. However, their doctrines changed and I discovered they've always changed according to the will of some men, not according to the Bible. I saw lack of love there, fake smiles, fake brotherwood, privileges for the important families, and I was always avoided by the young people there because they said I was "the saint", altough I'm a normal person and I was surrounded by holier-than-thou hypocrates, that pretended in front of people to be pious but they were not. I became a bitter, confused person...
Once I hadn't friends in this sect, I began to have friends from different religions at school and I was criticized for that, later I went to college, and I was criticised for that decision, too. Altough it is forbidden, I began to search about this sect, and I confirmed my suspects, they are not truly Christians... Due to this experience, I was angry towards every religion and I tried to give my values away and I became interested in the paranormal and new-age philosophies even doubting about God Himself.
However, during my most confused period, I went to another European city to work alone, and it was during my stay there that my personality was under a huge test. I had many temptations there, and I realised my values were part of me, I couldn't get rid of them, and I resisted tempations. In a city with more than 30% of muslims, I was for the first time meeting their community, and I felt they truly lived their faith and I felt at home amongst them altough I was not muslim, I was respected by them and the seed of my curiosity begin to grow up... They were hated by many non-muslims but I didn't understand why because they conveyed me peace and safety...
When I returned to my country, I still was confused, and I decided to get rid of the bitterness caused by sect, and secretely I become to learn about different faiths, and lately, I began to seriously study about Islam since some moths ago. I'm feeling a peace I never felt before once I know this is the purest monotheist faith I've ever met. I regret so much my attempt to lose my values, to involve with witchcraft things, to forget God... I feel ashamed of myself for those ideas I had and I pray to God for forgiveness.
I can see clearly now that Islam is the right path to mankind, and I'm so happy for increasing my knowledge about the Quran as I compare it to my previous beliefs, they didn't changed radically though and I find my religion so opressive when I compared it to Islam... I'm feeling mentally free and closer to God, however I still belong to my sect and they don't even imagine what's happening, they think I'm a sinner, as the most part of them are, and I can't leave it suddenly, otherwise I will severely suffer consequences and my relation with my mother will be damaged by them. I need to be patient...
I'm being as discrete as possible and I continue to learn more and more... I wish one day I get my independence to be free to learn even more and inshAllah to convert. Here, I hope to get some explainations to some questions I have...
If I hadn't found Islam, I would be lost right now, alhamdullilah I found the right path to submit myself to the only true God,
I'm sorry for this huge text,
My sincere and kind regards,
ChebbaTan