Can I talk to my parents like this ?

H

Hopetogoparadis

Junior Member
Assalam alakum

I understood that we should be nice to parents and dont say them bad words, listen them and obey them (as long as they dont tell us to disobey Allah)

So there is this situation, where parents dont want you to get married saying that you still need to finish your school. And they give you different excuses, like ''you are not able to afford for family, you dont understand marriage is not easy...'' but honestly it seems like they just dont want me to get married in this age (20) so thats why even if i give them good reasons, they will do not wanna accept it because problem is that they dont want marriage before having graduated and finding a job.

In this case, do you think i should tell them ''you spent all that money with my brother, now its my turn, why dont you give me financial help ?'' and if they say no then i might continue ''You talk about being just, but you are not just with your own sons....'' (So that it can touch their mind maybe and they can say ''ooh, yea, actually he is right'')

I wanted to say these two kind of things to them but then i fear that maybe its not good to talk them like that, however i dont know what else can be said to them, to let them understand, otherwise it seems like i should just sit and wait without doing anything, expecting Allah to change their hearts.
 
ShahnazZ

ShahnazZ

Striving2BeAStranger
:salam2:,

I think that as long as it's said gently and respectfully, it's fine. These are issues that need to be addressed, akhi, and if you're serious about wanting to get married, this is a discussion that you would have to have at some point. Alot of the points that you raised are also valid and thus, as long as you say it with the appropriate intention and respect, I think it's fine.

Additionally, I do believe that if you approach it from the angle of true sincerity and genuine respect, your parents may even see the level of maturity you have and further be impressed by it, allowing them to seriously consider what you're saying.
 
Tabassum07

Tabassum07

Smile for Allah
:salam2:

If your parents are unwilling to give you the financial help, and you are unable to support your wife, wouldn't it be wrong to marry at this stage, until you're able to support your wife financially? Be gentle when you talk to your parents, or you may even ask lightheartedly if they would be willing to support you and your wife if you marry.

On the other hand, sometimes parents might take things in the opposite way - if you say, "You have helped my brother, now its my turn, why don't you give me financial help?" Instead of thinking "Oh yeah, he's right" they might actually go into the "You are being ungrateful" route. Just be careful how you state your words, brother.
 
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