Asslam u Alaikum Sister
My thoughts on this are some what strange I know but I am a firm beleiver that some men do not grow up (brothers no offence intended) and I call this behaviour naughty boy syndrome. In England pictures/magazines etc are everywhere and some of the Ads at night on TV are very bad and some what pathetic to me but these images sell to men.
The more a women nags or complains the more exciting it becomes to be naughty for them.(in my opinion).
My advise is to be strong and pray to ALLAH(swt) for strength and guidance. Do no condone his actions but be quiet about it and hopefully he will lose interest. At the end of the day you are not at fault here and I know it can be upsetting as well as feeling like a betrayal but these women/girls are been used and have no respect from your husband like you do. Stay strong and right and with time and prayer I am sure the situation will be solved.
Take Care and concentrate on what is right
Don't worry sister
I'm not offended by what your saying. I agree with you. Men are SO stupid.
You know what, they
aren't even men.
But it's not fair that I'm blaming this on ALL men, because even the Sahabi were men, and no matter HOW strong or handsome they could've been, they were dutiful to their wife.
And there ARE actually Muslim husbands out there that Love thier wife (and not someone like Hurl Yeen.
But anyway, sister, I think that you should do 2 Rakah Nafl (Tahajudd, like at 2-3 in the morning), and ask Allah Ta Alla to help you with your problem, and make to happen to be what HE feels is best, whether that is if you get married again or he stops acting like a dog. And whenever I really need something important to me (like going to Masjid on Friday for Esha till midnight), I always make this uda:
"Rabbanaa, Wa Seght Tha Qoola Shay Ew Rahmatowww, Wa Ilmah! Rabbana Wa Seght Tha Qoola Shay Ew Rahmatowww, Wa Ilma!
Rabbana, Ithenah Milladunnn-Ka Rahmatoww- Wa Hayitlanaa Min Amrenaa Rashahdah,"
I can't explain perfectly the meaning of the first sentence, but it's close to meaning, "Our Lord, you are full of Knowledge and Wisdom," and the second sentence means, "Our Lord! Have your Mercy on us and Settle our affairs the right way!"
And really SPEAK to Allah Ta Alla sister, feel like as if you can see him (if you feel his presence in your mind, you see light. just letting you know......), and also when you've asked Allah Ta Alla what you want, then say to him that you KNOW that he will make things change, because in Truth, His Arsh (Throne) extends over the Heavens and the Earth, and he is the Majestic and Beautiful, and he Rules over all that he has created, and also SAY it in your heart that you have trusted him, and that you do not place any doubt upon him, and say that over and over again until you've convinced yourself that you have no doubt in your Lord, and then finish off your dua. And also remember sister, it WILL take time for things to change, but TRUST me, do NOT be hasty about wanting the change to happen quickly, because Allah Ta Alla doesn't like it when people are too hasty in getting what they want, so remember to stay patient sister, and also Shaytaan will keep on saying to you in your head, "He's STILL doing those things, (meaning that you can see that his "secret" habit is still continuing)," but always say to yourself (and also when you see that he's in more and more instances with girls), "I have kept my trust in my Lord," and also BELEIVE in this with your heart. Also whenever something bad or upsetting happens, you should say "Alhamdulillah," or if you want to say it in words that come from your heart, then basically say, "Praise be to Allah," (and you can extend it if you want), because TRUST me sister, it makes you stop feeling upset or angry after you say this, but remember, it HAS to be with Eman, from the heart.
But I'll also make dua for you sister, If Allah Ta Alla wills. But remember to stay patient, and also think of the great blessings of your Lord, like for you and me, coming back to Islam, and also that Allah Ta Alla has saved us from Ignorance and Evil, and Wallahi, when I remember the second one (because I use to have a Fitnah problem last year in Public School, you understand), it starts making tears come from my eyes, because I understand how much my Lord Loves me, and that's why he's saved me from the Slope of the Darkness that I slipped on, and that's why he's perserved me and protected me (especially my psycological health, because after Allah Ta Alla accepted my dua and made me steadfast, whenever I remembered the evil things I would do (not lowering the gaze), or when I would feel the Fitnah and evil around me, I would feel like as if I'm losing my conciousness, and my body starts feeling heave on the floor and I start weeping extremely out of sadness for all the evil that I'd done, and most of all, because those things reminded how much I had betrayed my Lord, who always loved me and comforted me, and who I Love more than ANYONE else), and so that is why today I want to follow all the Sunnahs of Rasulallah (SAW) and be EXTREMELY Pious and Steadfast (Like the Salaf As Salih, the ancestors of Islam, the Predecessors), not for Jannah or to be saved from Jahanam, but because I want to Please my Lord, and I want to live a long good life so that I could do as much Ebadah as I can because it will be the greatest thing that I will miss when I leave this Duniyah..... But remember to do a LOT of Nafl Ebadah sister, because:
Abu Huraira Radhiallahu ‘anhu narrated that Allah’s Messenger Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam said that Allah said: “I will declare war against him who shows hostility to a pious worshipper of mine And the most beloved things with which My slave comes nearer to Me, is what I have enjoined upon him; and My worshipper keeps on coming closer to Me through perfoming Nawafil (praying or doing extra deeds besides what is (obligatory) till I love him, then I become his sense of hearing with which he hears, and his sense of sight with which he sees, and his hands with which he grips, and his legs with which he walks; and if he asks Me, I will give him, and if he asks My Protection (Refuge), I will Protect him.”
Narrated by Al-Bukhari
And To Allah Ta Alla belongs all Praise.
Assalamu Alykum Warahmatullahe Wabarakaathuh dear sister, may Allah Ta Alla shower his Love, Mercy, and Beauty on all of you who want to be Pious and Steadfast, and may he make you all to have soft gentle hearts, with a soft and gentle character, Ameen Ya Zal Jalaaly Wal Ekraam!
Surah Ghafir (Qari Salman Al Utaybi)
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Surah Kahf (Sheikh Emad Al Mansary)
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