muhammad.abdullah
Junior Member
:salam2:
I hope this reaches you in the best of health. I have a very important question or rather issue that i want to get your opinion on. I will let you know of my opinion in the end. Ok, here goes. I have been studying a lot of topics like 'Pointers on choosing a life partner' , 'What to ask a prospective spouse' and so on and so forth. These topics were not on TTI but were the headings of the ones that i read. They list at least a dozen or more questions to ask your prospective partner before you say YES. What i find quite awkward is that this kind of practice has not been mentioned in the time of rasulullah (SAW). Here i have a hadith
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 54:
Narrated Sahl bin Sad:
A woman presented herself to the Prophet (for marriage). A man said to him, "O Allah's Apostle! (If you are not in need of her) marry her to me." The Prophet said, "What have you got?" The man said, "I have nothing." The Prophet said (to him), "Go and search for something) even if it were an iron ring." The man went and returned saying, "No, I have not found anything, not even an iron ring; but this is my (Izar) waist sheet, and half of it is for her." He had no Rida' (upper garment). The Prophet said, "What will she do with your waist sheet? If you wear it, she will have nothing over her; and if she wears it, you will have nothing over you." So the man sat down and when he had sat a long time, he got up (to leave). When the Prophet saw him (leaving), he called him back, or the man was called (for him), and he said to the man, "How much of the Quran do you know (by heart)?" The man replied I know such Sura and such Sura (by heart)," naming the Suras The Prophet said, "I have married her to you for what you know of the Quran "
What i understood from this hadith is that the man who asked the prophet (SAW) to marry that woman to him didn't go asking a list of questions from her before he wanted to marry. I know the hadith of 'Al-Mugheera' where the prophet (SAW) urged the man to have a look at his prospective wife but he didn't advise him to assess her before he should marry her.
Correct me if I am wrong, but i dont find any logical reason to marry a woman. If anyone of us were to ask our mom and dad about any logical reason as to why they got married in the first place, they would definitely not dignify the question with an answer, there could be some exceptions to this as well. Hmm, logical reason? If you have been to an interview you must have answered one question, 'Why do you want this job?' what? Its the silliest question i have ever heard, in their heart everyone knows that they are doing the job for money, you dont do it because you love it or this reason or that reason, ok if you love the job, would you do it without and remuneration? Absolutely NOT. So there goes the logical reason concept. Everyone knows why marriage is important. So why is this whole assessing thing going on.
Cant we trust Allah after we have prayed to him to guide us, to let us know in our heart if the person in question is the right person or not? You can ask loads about a person's background and traits and this and that, you can ask CIA to investigate but in the end, its only and only Allah who knows what will happen. What if on the 2nd day of the wedding the husband or wife goes blind, what if they die, what if they contract a chronic disease... well no one wants to get married to the person who is about to die but what now, now you are married and the 2 of you just discoverd it...
My opinion is to stay at ease, bin that long list of stupid questions about logical reasons, investigate a bit when you can but dont rely on it, pray and pray a lot to Allah to guide you and plz, don't go for the western way of knowing each other, you are not married and if you find even small things that you dont like you wouldn't compromise and want to let go of a by and large good person. On the other hand, people who are married just ignore and compromise on the disliked traits.
Do give me your opinion , looking forward to it.
I hope this reaches you in the best of health. I have a very important question or rather issue that i want to get your opinion on. I will let you know of my opinion in the end. Ok, here goes. I have been studying a lot of topics like 'Pointers on choosing a life partner' , 'What to ask a prospective spouse' and so on and so forth. These topics were not on TTI but were the headings of the ones that i read. They list at least a dozen or more questions to ask your prospective partner before you say YES. What i find quite awkward is that this kind of practice has not been mentioned in the time of rasulullah (SAW). Here i have a hadith
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 54:
Narrated Sahl bin Sad:
A woman presented herself to the Prophet (for marriage). A man said to him, "O Allah's Apostle! (If you are not in need of her) marry her to me." The Prophet said, "What have you got?" The man said, "I have nothing." The Prophet said (to him), "Go and search for something) even if it were an iron ring." The man went and returned saying, "No, I have not found anything, not even an iron ring; but this is my (Izar) waist sheet, and half of it is for her." He had no Rida' (upper garment). The Prophet said, "What will she do with your waist sheet? If you wear it, she will have nothing over her; and if she wears it, you will have nothing over you." So the man sat down and when he had sat a long time, he got up (to leave). When the Prophet saw him (leaving), he called him back, or the man was called (for him), and he said to the man, "How much of the Quran do you know (by heart)?" The man replied I know such Sura and such Sura (by heart)," naming the Suras The Prophet said, "I have married her to you for what you know of the Quran "
What i understood from this hadith is that the man who asked the prophet (SAW) to marry that woman to him didn't go asking a list of questions from her before he wanted to marry. I know the hadith of 'Al-Mugheera' where the prophet (SAW) urged the man to have a look at his prospective wife but he didn't advise him to assess her before he should marry her.
Correct me if I am wrong, but i dont find any logical reason to marry a woman. If anyone of us were to ask our mom and dad about any logical reason as to why they got married in the first place, they would definitely not dignify the question with an answer, there could be some exceptions to this as well. Hmm, logical reason? If you have been to an interview you must have answered one question, 'Why do you want this job?' what? Its the silliest question i have ever heard, in their heart everyone knows that they are doing the job for money, you dont do it because you love it or this reason or that reason, ok if you love the job, would you do it without and remuneration? Absolutely NOT. So there goes the logical reason concept. Everyone knows why marriage is important. So why is this whole assessing thing going on.
Cant we trust Allah after we have prayed to him to guide us, to let us know in our heart if the person in question is the right person or not? You can ask loads about a person's background and traits and this and that, you can ask CIA to investigate but in the end, its only and only Allah who knows what will happen. What if on the 2nd day of the wedding the husband or wife goes blind, what if they die, what if they contract a chronic disease... well no one wants to get married to the person who is about to die but what now, now you are married and the 2 of you just discoverd it...
My opinion is to stay at ease, bin that long list of stupid questions about logical reasons, investigate a bit when you can but dont rely on it, pray and pray a lot to Allah to guide you and plz, don't go for the western way of knowing each other, you are not married and if you find even small things that you dont like you wouldn't compromise and want to let go of a by and large good person. On the other hand, people who are married just ignore and compromise on the disliked traits.
Do give me your opinion , looking forward to it.
