Depression & Mother of Disable children


Junior Member
This is an excerpt from one of Tariq Masood’s speeches. Its translated more or less meaning.

Recently a mother called me saying first child was born with disability, second child born with disability and now I am pregnant again. I am suffering from extreme anxiety and fear that my third child would also be born with disability. I continue to take lot of medicine, pray lot of litanies. One day I said this litany and had a dream. As soon as she said she had a dream I told her to stop speaking and hear me. Come out of the world of dreams and stay in reality.

She asked me to give her some prayer or litany. I told her I am not going to giver her any prayer or litany. I told her your cure is only in one thing why have you made it a ‘condition’ that disabled child is something you don’t want at any cost. This ‘thought’ itself is incorrect. You are fighting God. The world will run not according to your will but God’s will. Be pleased with whatever God has ordained.

Pray to Allah with humility that you are given pious children, give me healthy children & pls save me from trials. Make fervent prayer with humility. But put in your heart that your job is to ask, then whatever happens is God’s will and whatever ends up happening is for my own benefit. My God will not do injustice with me. Mentally be prepared that third child may be born with disability.

There are so many people in this world who are in much greater difficulty than yours. Your husband is honest, nice he takes care of you. Your in-laws support you. There are husbands that are abusive that make life of woman hell. If you ask those women, they will say ‘Allah save me from this abusive man rather have child with disability’. ‘Save me from this mother in law’ & there are women who are on streets who have no food or shelter. They would say ‘rather have children with disability if I get respectable roof over my head’.

And when person adopts patience Allah comforts that person.

“And the heart of Moses’ mother became empty [of all else]. She was about to disclose [the matter concerning] him had We not bound fast her heart that she would be of the believers. ” (28:10)

Its Allah’s order to Moses’ mother to place child on basket how can a mother do this, that too on a river! And it went to Pharaoh’s house. What does Quran say? The heart of Moses’ mother became empty of patience. Given that this all happened on Allah’s command, Allah says that we ‘anchored’ heart of Moses’ mother similar to tying something with ropes so she doesn’t become restless.

Allah says Moses’ mother had lost patience, due to emotions would have disclosed to Pharaoh that the child is hers and ask to return the child to her. But Allah says we ‘anchored’ her heart. Why? Because she followed Allah’s commandment some of it she did herself & what she couldn’t do (despite trying her best) Allah assisted her. So in difficulties do your best in being patient & when you no longer can, Allah will provide you that courage.

We should all plead to Allah that we be saved from difficulties, we are not people of patience, we are not worthy, we ask for happiness, ease.. but Allah forbid some difficulty does come don’t try to wrestle against it. There is good in it and benefit is to come.

So I told that woman in this difficulty if you are patient what will Allah give? You will earn pleasure of Allah and great rewards. Tomorrow you are going to get old and die. If all your children are born healthy, will they go to your grave with you? In grave the child will not go with you. Rather the ‘patience’ you held onto due to having disabled children that will go in your grave.