Downfalls Of Not Having An Enjoyable Sex Life


Assalaamu 'alaykum!
If one or both spouses perpetually live with unsatisfied sexual desires, it can have an extremely detrimental effect on their mutual relationship outside the bedroom. Feelings of hatred or revulsion can arise just by looking at a spouse who does not cater to out desires, whether that is out of innocent ignorance, nonchalant indifference, or deliberate disregard of our feelings.

A spouse who is continuously ignored or mistreated in bed will eventually become emotionally detached as well, seething with resentment. They will then take out their innate frustration on their spouse in other ways or on the children at home. Thus, lack of compassion and empathy in marital intimacy can spiral into further problems for the couple, turning the situation from bad to worse!

It is imperative, then, to realise that marital intimacy is the foundation on which a marriage forms and grows, especially in the formative years. It takes time to master, just like any other skill or occupation a person starts or undertakes for the first time in their life. Spouses learn from their mistakes along the way and get to know each other’s likes and dislikes over time…

[Marital intimacy is] an immensely appeasing, comforting, pleasurable, and effectionate physical and emotional companionship. It is this companionship, which brings a glow to the face, a sparkle in the eyes, a spring in the step, a protection to the gaze from illicit temptations, self-confidence in the personality and devoted concentration in worship.

Lastly, it brings each spouse closer to their Creator (swt), when they fulfil the due rights of the other half of their religion for His pleasure only.

[Traversing The Highs And Lows Of Muslim Marriage, by Sadaf Farooqi, p. 48]