FOR PROSPECTIVE BRIDES A mother's advise

talkadams

Junior Member
Najeeb A. A. Gambo January 10 at 2:54pm Reply
A mother's advise

O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar.

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Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

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The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one's husband pleases Allah.

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The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

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The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

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The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

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The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

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KNOW, O my daughter that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike.
 

rightpath_357

Junior Member
Good tips for those who are married or about to get married on TTI. :D

But- can you post something that MEN should do for WOMEN- cause sometimes it's like we do a little more than expected:lol:

JazakAllah Khairan for posting anyways

Salam:D
 

m.azza

New Member
If I was a woman, I would have serious objection to the last advice. Why is it that a woman has to sacrifice everything? Why cant there be some balance, both would forgo something?
 

Savas

New Member
its all about give n take

I have to totally disagree with your tips to
new brides as giving the green light to
some men to walk all over them.

MARRIAGE IS A UNION BETWEEN A MAN &
WOMAN BUILT ON MUTUAL LOVE & RESPECT
& EQUALITY WHERE EACH BRINGS THEIR
OWN UNIQUE QUALITY.

I want a wife who loves me with her heart &
feels loved by me, not because its her duty too.

I want a wife who respects me because I
respect her, not because its her duty too.

I want a wife who says what she thinks,
not what she thinks I want her to say.

I want a wife who will tell me if she is not
happy, & not just say she is.

I want a wife who I can talk to equally, &
not just agree with me because of fear.

I want a wife & not a robot!!!
 

JENNAH.K.

Junior Member
If I was a woman, I would have serious objection to the last advice. Why is it that a woman has to sacrifice everything? Why cant there be some balance, both would forgo something?

From what I know, putting others' needs before our own is a behaviour Allah wants from us. I believe it extends to all others around us - not just our husbands. And a God-fearing husbands treat women the same! So I feel it should balance out. I have experienced that in my life - but still need to work on less selfishness for sure!

I think its a lovely piece of advice - but it is also serious and benefical.
 

sharazad

Sister
I have to totally disagree with your tips to
new brides as giving the green light to
some men to walk all over them.

MARRIAGE IS A UNION BETWEEN A MAN &
WOMAN BUILT ON MUTUAL LOVE & RESPECT
& EQUALITY WHERE EACH BRINGS THEIR
OWN UNIQUE QUALITY.

I want a wife who loves me with her heart &
feels loved by me, not because its her duty too.

I want a wife who respects me because I
respect her, not because its her duty too.

I want a wife who says what she thinks,
not what she thinks I want her to say.

I want a wife who will tell me if she is not
happy, & not just say she is.

I want a wife who I can talk to equally, &
not just agree with me because of fear.

I want a wife & not a robot!!!

InshAllah you will find a pious wife brother Savas, and one who can make you happy! As i woman i appreciate a man saying these things, marriage is about sharing and not about one doing "everything", it goes both ways InshAllah.
 
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