Hajj or Marriage?

A

AishaHadi

Nomad
:salam2:

Please help me refute my dear brother!!!!

Me and my brother had a very heated argument…[nothing major] well I want to go to hajj and he insists that I should get married first because he believes marriage is more wajiib than hajj. I don’t understand why and I was too stubborn to ask.

Anywho is it true that marriage comes first then hajj?

Jazaakumullahu kheiran in advance.
 
A

abu turaab

Junior Member
:salam2: well either hajj or marriage both have pre-requisites!!..just of the fact that one reaches the age of adolesence doesn't qualify him/her to get married!!!.for a man he should have the "mahr" and a house with "premises" for him and her wife to live in properly..and this premises should at least be a bedroom with attached toilet and bath and a kitchen..there must be a certain degree of privacy for a couple..and also the boy should be able to run the expanses of his family and household etc.so i think for a girl it requires time to search for and get married to a man she likes with all the pre-requisites accomplished as i mentioned above.
On the other hand with hajj there aren't much pre-requisites..neither are they sensitive ones like for a marriage.so sister if a "mahram" can be with you throughout the tour and also you can bear the expenses..then you should go for it...remember its an Obligation;the fifth pilar and not just a nafl kind of worship!...may ALLAH guide us all to staright path.
your brother
 
O

Optimist

قل هو الله أحد
not a religious opinion but in my opinion marriage comes first as it is a neccessity of life ...
 
A

AishaHadi

Nomad
:salam2:

I understand that they both have fundamentals, and if you have the means I don’t see why you should hold off on going to hajj married or not!!!!

Anywho Jazaakamullah kheiran for the respond.
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,


Sometimes common sense helps when we can not find a scholar. The Pilgrimage is a calling from Allah. It has always been a pinnacle for a lifetime. We have developmental stages in life. We have times when we go to school. Times when we wed. Times when we raise our children and then is it not written that we become serious with our realtionship with Allah subhana talla after 40. Given this marriage comes before the Hajj. We have to be complete to make our peace. We have to know about life and death and some experinces of hope and disappointment. The Pilgrimage is serious stuff. I am going to borrow from Maslow. We have to have our safety needs met, our shelther, our careers, our beloning to a group, our giving back to our community and then we are free to experience the joy of a Pilgrimage. You would get more if you marry first.
 
alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
:salam2:

Nope .i Havent heard of scholars coming to forum before.
But sister , you can ask your brother to ask the imam or a sheikh...
 
A

AishaHadi

Nomad
mirajmom said:
Salaam,

Sometimes common sense helps when we can not find a scholar. The Pilgrimage is a calling from Allah. It has always been a pinnacle for a lifetime. We have developmental stages in life. We have times when we go to school. Times when we wed. Times when we raise our children and then is it not written that we become serious with our realtionship with Allah subhana talla after 40. Given this marriage comes before the Hajj. We have to be complete to make our peace. We have to know about life and death and some experinces of hope and disappointment. The Pilgrimage is serious stuff. I am going to borrow from Maslow. We have to have our safety needs met, our shelther, our careers, our beloning to a group, our giving back to our community and then we are free to experience the joy of a Pilgrimage. You would get more if you marry first.
Click to expand...


Uhmmm if i have the money plus the mahram and i desire, wish and hope so bad to go to hajj why should my marital status matter?

I know marriage is important etc and i have nothing against it but if i can afford to go to hajj now and marry later when mr mashallah comes along would that be a problem.

Everyone has a dream and things they wish to do today not 40years from now, i dont think you should wait to persue your dreams and goals so long it's Islamically OK.

But sister , you can ask your brother to ask the imam or a sheikh...
Click to expand...

Will do inshallah

:salam2:
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,

You missed my point. Yes, it is your desire. But there comes a time in your life where desire vanishes and then it is time to go. It is not about money. It is not an either or. You have made up your mind.
 
R

riz_1982

Junior Member
I think if one has enough savings that after haj he still be able to afford marriage than I think there is nothing wrong in doing haj first. But one fears his savings is only to do either of the two Haj or marriage than he should get married first.
 
S

Saifu deen

Alhamdullah..
Salam Alykom:

Its good to ask an scholar isnshallah..

I personally believe if the female has mahram and the means for it, and she is capable of complying with the requirements to perform hajj, then its good to perform hajj.

I would advice my own sister to perform hajj (fard 'her first hajj'), and there is no reason to wait till she gets married. Marriage sometimes takes time, find the right person, discuss marriage, and,and,and, and Allah (swt) knows if both sides would agree or not, and no one knows if we are going to live tommorow. Ibadah comes first inshallah, and may be after marriage both husband and wife perform hajj, that would be nice mashallah.

Lets not forget what our prophet Mohammed (pbuh) said to Aisha (RA) when she asked Prophet (pbuh) whether females can also join the Jihad. But Prophet (pbuh) said the best jihad for the women is Hajj.

Therefore, its good to perform hajj to get the beautiful reward inshallah.

Wassalamu Alykom...
 
A

AishaHadi

Nomad
riz_1982 said:
I think if one has enough savings that after haj he still be able to afford marriage than I think there is nothing wrong in doing haj first. But one fears his savings is only to do either of the two Haj or marriage than he should get married first.
Click to expand...

I dont have to save up anything for marriage or after marriage Allah has lifted that duty off me and place it on men!!!! alhamdullillah!! See thats the beauty of being a Muslim girl :)


Salam Alykom:

Its good to ask an scholar isnshallah..

I personally believe if the female has mahram and the means for it, and she is capable of complying with the requirements to perform hajj, then its good to perform hajj.

I would advice my own sister to perform hajj (fard 'her first hajj'), and there is no reason to wait till she gets married. Marriage sometimes takes time, find the right person, discuss marriage, and,and,and, and Allah (swt) knows if both sides would agree or not, and no one knows if we are going to live tommorow. Ibadah comes first inshallah, and may be after marriage both husband and wife perform hajj, that would be nice mashallah.

Lets not forget what our prophet Mohammed (pbuh) said to Aisha (RA) when she asked Prophet (pbuh) whether females can also join the Jihad. But Prophet (pbuh) said the best jihad for the women is Hajj.

Therefore, its good to perform hajj to get the beautiful reward inshallah.

Wassalamu Alykom...
Click to expand...

Jazaakallah kheiran for the inspiring post

:salam2:
 
R

riz_1982

Junior Member
Sister I thoght it was a guy. I didn't know it was for a sister.:wasalam:
AishaHadi said:
I dont have to save up anything for marriage or after marriage Allah has lifted that duty off me and place it on men!!!! alhamdullillah!! See thats the beauty of being a Muslim girl :)




Jazaakallah kheiran for the inspiring post

:salam2:
Click to expand...
 
J

JIRMA

New Member
haj or marriage?

i thought there is a hadith that says, parpharsing it, "if you are married you have accomplished 1/2 of your faith" where are the scholars? your brother could be right but i can not argue it without facts as islam is not about ,i think or i suppose,
marriage stops you from farnication(four people- two for each), brings me a new muslim brother or sister as a by product, makes my sister easliy access jahn by beinh dutiful to her husband. as for haj, you are allahs visitor(mashaalah), if you went for his sake without commiting and sins in the process, all your previous sins are forgiven, so ? where are we? scholars help, my sister ahs a good topic for discusion
 
H

Heba Salama

New Member
:salam2: in my opinion i think marriage is important ofcourse not more than haj but what we call it half of religion, it will aid you in your long way and it will keep you away from desires and may Allah sent you a gift and not just a wife who will support you in your way to haj insha-Allah.By the way you 've the right to be confused because this topic is a bit confusing.
 
J

Jalila_mustafa

Junior Member
mbaath said:
not a religious opinion but in my opinion marriage comes first as it is a neccessity of life ...
Click to expand...
:salam2:
Yee I agree with yur Opinion, Get Married First And Den Yu Can Go To Hajj, Wid Yur Husband,
Start Yur Marriage On The Right Foot, What Better Way To Start Yur Marriage Den To Go Hajj Together.
 
A

AishaHadi

Nomad
Jazaakumullahu kheiran for your replies however am not looking for your opinions rather a fact/proof/evidence from the Quran and Hadith..On whether Marriage is more Wajiib than hajj or vice versa:D

Barakallahu feekum

:salam2:
 
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