Husband vs. Parents

S

sayedahash

Sayeda
:salam2:

According to the rules in Islam, What do you do when your husband tells you to do one thing and your mother tells you to do the oppostite thing. I mean who should you listen to first? In islam the rights of a husband are very important and so is the right of your mother. I'm usually stuck in this dilema, I don't want to upset my mother and I don't want to ruin or upset my relationship with my husband. One example is my husband's parents live overseas and he sends them money, and my mother tells me that I should save money for me and my husband because we need it also. My mother is just being a mother and is worried about my life while my husband's parents are in need of money and I don't want to tell him he can't give his parents money because I care about them too and love them. Just wondering if anyone else has ever come accross this dilema and what in Islam is the right thing to do.

Jazak Allah khair
 
abubaseer

abubaseer

tanzil.info
Staff member
Sister,

It is your husbands duty to be good to his parents...and take care of them.
Your mother should have no objection if he sends them money that he has earned.

If is asking you to send the money that you have earned, then its a different story.
 
S

sayedahash

Sayeda
abubaseer said:
Sister,

It is your husbands duty to be good to his parents...and take care of them.
Your mother should have no objection if he sends them money that he has earned.

If is asking you to send the money that you have earned, then its a different story.
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well its money we both earn, we both work and our money is shared, I know my mother should have no business in it but I can't say anything bad to her because she is my mother and I cant disrespect her.
 
abubaseer

abubaseer

tanzil.info
Staff member
For the part that he sends from the money you have earned, i think you should as some shaykh if you can refuse him or not.

But, you would definitely get reward if you agree to it, specially because you are
helping your relatives with your money.
 
dianek

dianek

Junior Member
I am in a similar situation. My husband is always using his $$$ for building a house in Tunis or sending his mother/brothers/or whoever else $$$ while I am suffering and falling behind in bills. My mother gets really irritated at him because I am so stressed about how to pay bills and have even borrowed money from my parents in the past to make ends meet so i don't have to ask him. I love his parents too but I ask myself....if my parents needed help would he offer it.....I don't think that he would, atleast not to the extent he does for his family and I am not in a financial position to do anything to help my parents myself.
 
S

sayedahash

Sayeda
dianek said:
I am in a similar situation. My husband is always using his $$$ for building a house in Tunis or sending his mother/brothers/or whoever else $$$ while I am suffering and falling behind in bills. My mother gets really irritated at him because I am so stressed about how to pay bills and have even borrowed money from my parents in the past to make ends meet so i don't have to ask him. I love his parents too but I ask myself....if my parents needed help would he offer it.....I don't think that he would, atleast not to the extent he does for his family and I am not in a financial position to do anything to help my parents myself.
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It's a tough situation but I try to think positive about it, I just pray to Allah that he will reward me for being patient, I just don't want money to cause any problems in our marriage and hopefully Allah give us more money for helping out his family, because you see they are in debt so I feel bad for them and thats why I don't want to stop him from sending money to them. Thank you sister for sharing, may Allah reward us for it and give us patience.
 
S

sayedahash

Sayeda
N

nizar83

Junior Member
selemu aleikum,

i think its very obvious that you as a muslim wife you should do anything, anything you can do to help keep your man satisfied with you..because if he is satisfied with you, he will reflect his satisfaction upon you.

dont let your mother involve in these things, you are married to your husband, and vice versa.

your money is your money, you can do with your money as you please.
telling your husband he shouldnt send money to his parents who are in need of it, is like saying i want a bad relationship

inshallah god will harm you from any big problems and dillemas

selemu aleikum
 
S

sayedahash

Sayeda
nizar83 said:
selemu aleikum,

i think its very obvious that you as a muslim wife you should do anything, anything you can do to help keep your man satisfied with you..because if he is satisfied with you, he will reflect his satisfaction upon you.

dont let your mother involve in these things, you are married to your husband, and vice versa.

your money is your money, you can do with your money as you please.
telling your husband he shouldnt send money to his parents who are in need of it, is like saying i want a bad relationship

inshallah god will harm you from any big problems and dillemas

selemu aleikum
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Thank you brother. Very good advice, I will keep that advice with me.
 
Hassan

Hassan

Laa ilaha ilaa Allah
Staff member
I think it was for somebody's personal website.
If people participated in discussion rather than broadcasting in a spammy way, we do allow links. Just not that way.
 
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