I am married to a Non-Muslim man

Julie1134

Junior Member
As'salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

I became Muslim almost 2 years ago Alhamdulliah!! I am married to a non-Muslim and even after 2 years he will not take Shahada. I have invited him to the mosque so that he can talk with the Imam. Inshallah he will accept that soon.

He does believe there is none to worship but Allah alone and that Mohammad (pbuh) is the messenger of Allah. He lets me teach our 2 children about Islam (ages 1 year and 4 years) He lets me wear hijab and do anything that I want in Islam. If he believes in what Islam teaches but does not take shahada am I allowed to stay married to him? The mosque is far from here but Inshallah we can meet with the Imam soon. Thank you all
wa salam. :allahuakbar:
 

palestine

Servant of Allah
Well if he is becoming a muslim and you know that and you are sure of it then stay with him. but as for a muslim women being with a non muslim man, it is forbidden. it is haram. the only way he could be with you is if he takes shahada. because the prophet pbuh had a daughter named zaynab, she became a muslim but her husband didn't, and then an ayah was revealed ordering for the two to be divorced. after a couple of years he took his shahada and they got back to together. they were deeply in love before and after islam. but as far as i know a MUSLIMAH can't be with a man who isn't muslim. but one question, if your husbands believes this and believes that islam is the right way- what is holding him back from embracing it? have you asked him? asalamu alaykum
 

palestine

Servant of Allah
Stories of women who became Muslim and left their kaafir husbands :
I know that Muslim women are not allowed in Islam to marry non-Muslim men; there is a sister on a converts list who recently became Muslim and who was asking what to do regarding her non-Muslim husband who accepted her conversion without any problems and who also lets her educate the children the Islamic way. However, when she asked for an advice, most of us told her that the husband has to take shahada or she should not remained married to him otherwise. Unfortunately, some other people don't believe so and advised her the opposite way, that she just should remain with the husband and so on,.... I would like you to send me concrete cases at the time of the Prophet (SAW) where Muslim women (sahabyate) would leave their non-Muslim husbands if those decided not to convert. I think those cases would be the only proof to convince the people of that list that Muslim women are not allowed to marry or remain married to non-Muslims men even though they are not against the woman's conversion.
Praise be to Allaah.

What you have said in your question about it being haraam for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man is correct, and there is no doubt concerning that.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe” [al-Baqarah 2:221]

Al-Qurtubi said:

“ ‘And give not (your daughters) in marriage’ means, do not give Muslim women in marriage to Mushrik men. The ummah is agreed that a Mushrik should not marry a Muslim woman because this is like putting Islam in an inferior position. (Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/72).

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10]

Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Chapter: when a mushrik or Christian woman who is married to a dhimmi (non-Muslim living under Muslim rule) or a harbi (non-Muslim belonging to a people who are hostile towards Islam) becomes Muslim. ‘Abd al-Waarith said, narrating from Khaalid from ‘Ikrimah from Ibn ‘Abbaas: if a Christian woman becomes Muslim shortly before her husband, she is forbidden for him… Mujaahid said: if he becomes Muslim during the ‘iddah [waiting period following divorce], then he may (re)marry her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10]. Al-Hasan and Qutaadah said concerning two Magians who became Muslim that their marriage was still valid. If one of them had become Muslim and the other had refused, the woman would have been divorced and he would no longer have any rights over her.

(Saheeh al-Bukhaari. See al-Fath, 9/421).

Examples of such women include:

Zaynab, the daughter of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). She was married to Abu’l-‘Aas ibn al-Rabee’ during the Jaahiliyyah, but when she became Muslim, their marriage was annulled, and she went and stayed with her father (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When her husband became Muslim, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent her back to him.

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1143; Abu Dawood, 2240; Ibn Maajah, 2009; classed as saheeh by Imaam Ahmad, 1789. Al-Tirmidhi said, there is nothing wrong with its isnaad).

The correct view is that the husband can go back to her with no need to renew the marriage contract.

If the woman is still in her ‘iddah, he has more right (than anyone else) to marry her. If her ‘iddah has ended, she is free to choose whether to go back to him or not.

Al-Tirmidhi said:

On the basis of this hadeeth, the scholars said that if a woman becomes Muslim before her husband, then her husband becomes Muslim whilst she is still in her ‘iddah, then the husband has more right to her whilst she is still in her ‘iddah. This is the view of Maalik ibn Anas, al-Oozaa’i, al-Shaafa’i, Ahmad and Ishaaq.

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadeeth 1142).

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said:

There is no dispute among the scholars concerning the fact that if a kaafir woman becomes Muslim then her ‘iddah ends, her husband has no rights concerning her if he has not become Muslim during her ‘iddah.

(Al-Tamheed, 12/23).

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

But what the ruling of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) indicates is that the marriage comes to a halt. If he becomes Muslim before the end of her ‘iddah, then she is (still) his wife, but if her ‘iddah ends, then she may marry whomever she wants. If she likes, she can wait for him, and if he becomes Muslim she is his wife and there is no need to renew the marriage contract.

(Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/137, 138)

Al-Qurtubi said:

Talhah ibn ‘Ubayd-Allaah was married to Arwaa bint Rabee’ah ibn al-Haarith ibn ‘Abd al-Muttalib. They were separated by Islam, then in Islam Khaalid ibn Sa’eed ibn al-‘Aas married her. She was one of the [Muslim] wives of the kuffaar who fled to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kept her in Madinah and married her to Khaalid.

(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 18/65, 66)

It was reported that Anas said: Abu Talhah married Umm Sulaym and the mahr between them was Islam. Umm Sulaym became Muslim before Abu Talhah. He proposed marriage to her and she said, “I have become Muslim. If you become Muslim I will marry you.” So he became Muslim and that was the mahr between them.

(Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 3340)

The daughter of al-Waleed ibn al-Magheerah, the wife of Safwaan ibn Umayyah, became Muslim before him, and the marriage was annulled. Then he became Muslim later on, and she went back to him. It was narrated by Maalik in al-Muwatta’, 1132. Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: I do not know of any unbroken saheeh isnaad for this hadeeth, but it is famous and well known to the scholars of seerah, Ibn Shihaab, the leader of the scholars of seerah, and al-Shu’bi. The fame of this hadeeth is stronger than its isnaad in sha Allaah.

(al-Tamheed, 12/19)

Umm Hakeem bint al-Haarith ibn Hishaam, the wife of ‘Ikrimah ibn Abi Jahl. Her marriage was annulled, then he became Muslim during her ‘iddah, so she went back to her husband.

(Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah in al-Musannaf, 4/107)

And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
 

Salem9022

Junior Member
If He believes in Allah and His Messenger then there is No reason for him not to say the Shahadah. You should encourage him to Learn about Allah more, and let him read the Quran so that he may reflect in the words of Allah.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,

Sister be patient with him. It is a sensitive issue. He seems to be a reasonable man. Although he has not formally accepted Islam he is allowing your children to be raised Muslim. That initself speaks mountains of his character. In your post you speak with respect about your husband. I can not but help to think of the respect he is showing to Islam. Continue to keep your household Muslim. I pray that Allah subhana talla sends him a pious brother and they can have a man to man conversation.
Many members of the forum will disagree with me..and they have a right not to agree. However, we are talking about a family. He seems to be a provider. With men it is funny. They have to find someone they think is equal before they tune into listening. We will make dua Insha'Allah.
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

Salam Alaikum Sister

Well you already read all of the information from our Sister Palestine and it is haram to stay married to him. But my question is you mentioned that he believes the Allah should be worshipped alone and that Muhammed (SAWS) is the last Prophet, correct? Then what is holding him back from taking the shahadah????

Salam Sister Amirah80:hearts:
 

Julie1134

Junior Member
Wa alaikum salam,
I think what is holding him back is the fact that Islam has many rules and he does not want to follow. Examples...eating pork, fasting Ramadan, praying 5 times a day, and more. Wa salam
 

Julie1134

Junior Member
As'salamu alaikum sister Mirajmom,
It has been so long since we have talked. :) How are your cakes doing? Thank you for your message. Inshallah he will meet a brother to help him. Thank you sis!
 

Almaas

Junior Member
:salam2:

Before seeing the restrictions in Islam, he should first discover the beauty of it and the positive sides (well all of it's positive, but you know what i mean). For instance, the rewards and the beautiful way of life he could lead.

He needs to first discover Imaan (faith), then inshAllah his dedication will come slowly.

InshAllah he will find his Imaan.

All the best sister. :hijabi:
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam Sweet Julie,


My oven broke!!! I have been on an excersie kick..so I will wait until it gets cool and then I will bake up a strom for the winter...

I had to stop webbing I guess. I still have to be very careful in what I post. I am staying away from the stuff I love. I got the courage to return to TTI.

Girl. just hang in there and leave it all to Allah subhana talla. Trust me on this one.
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
Wa alaikum salam,
I think what is holding him back is the fact that Islam has many rules and he does not want to follow. Examples...eating pork, fasting Ramadan, praying 5 times a day, and more. Wa salam

:salam2:

I see advice that is telling you to stay and I understand why that is being said because he is so open to Islam just has not official converted. That is good that he is open and he allows you to practice Islam and teach your children. But you have mentioned it has already been about 2 years and he hasnt changed. Do you really think he will? I know you cannot official say yes or no because Allah guides who he wills. Well even thou Islam is very disciplined your husband must know to take things one step at a time. For Islam is easy to follow but no one will fault him for not doing everything immediately after converting. If I were you I would talk to him and let him know that because the fact remains it is haram to stay married to him and you would rather him convert to Islam and take it one day at a time then to die the kufaar. Because even if he knows and believes the shahadah the fact remains he did not say it. You guys need to really talk I do not know how long your being recommended to stay but it looks as if you already have done that. Inshallah sister you can talk to him and at least get him to take the shahadah and work at Islam for himself and avoid doing haram for yourself. I know sister this is a hard situation sister I can only imagine. But do not forget as much as you love this man you must love Allah more. I will make Du'aa for you sister for Allah to make this easier. Also remember sister Allah gives us test and no of them are too great that we cannot bear.

Salam Amirah80:hearts:
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

Salam Sister Julie

I wanted to post a fatwa pertaining to your exact situation just as another source of information to guide you.

FATWA 1826 IQA

She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
What is the ruling about remaining in a marriage when the wife has become a Muslim but her husband is still a kaafir? She has children with him and is afraid that they may go astray and be lost, and she hopes that her husband may be guided to Islam if she stays with him.

Praise be to Allaah.

As soon as a woman embraces Islam and her husband refuses to do likewise, the marriage is annulled and it is not permissible for her to live with him. But she should wait out the length of the ‘iddah period. If he embraces Islam, she may go back to him and the previous marriage contract is still counted as valid, but if he does not embrace Islam before the ‘iddah is over, then they are no longer married. If he subsequently embraces Islam and they want to get back together, a new marriage contract must be drawn up. It is not permissible to continue the marriage on the basis of being kind to him.

Majma’ al-Fiqh al-Islami (Islamic Fiqh Council), p. 43.

The children should follow the Muslim parent, so try your best to get custody of them. May Allaah help us and help you by His kindness and mercy.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
 

zaki01

New Member
ASALAMA ALAYKUM WARAHMATULLAHI WABARAKATUHU.

Answered by Sheikh Sâmî al-Mâjid

If a Muslim woman contracts a marriage with a non-believer, whether or not he is from the People of the Book, then her marriage is null and void. She may not let him approach her and she has to leave him immediately, as her contract is a contract of adultery and not a contract of marriage.

This is a matter in which there is no disagreement among all previous and contemporary scholars. The statements of the Qur’ân on this matter are clear. Allah says: “ Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: a man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever even though he allures you.”

Allah also says: “O ye who believe, when there come to you believing women refugees, test them; Allah knows best as to their faith. If ye ascertain that they are believers, then send them not back to the unbelievers, They are not lawful (wives) for the unbelievers, nor are the (unbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them”.

It is well known in Islam that a disbeliever may not marry a Muslim woman and it is a matter of consensus among scholars as cited by Ibn al-Mundhir in al-Ijmâ. end fatwa.


may advice to you:-
May sister in islam,the best way to solve your problem is first to recognize it and then have the willingness to solve it. These two conditions are present in your case; all praise is due to Allah.

Then what you need to do is to force yourself into being serious and steadfast in your repentance. You should put in mind that the grace period being given to you by Allah will not last forever; you may die at any time while you are still practicing disobedience....."married to a non-muslim man"

sist don't forget to be reliance upon Allah and seeking of His help in supplication, fully trusting in Him.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “O Allah! You are the one who disposes hearts. Dispose our hearts to your obedience.” [Sahîh Muslim (2654)]


I pray to Allah to safeguard in this life and grant us good in the Hereafter.

from heart to heart your brother in islam..
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
Salam Alaikum

I posted this not to confuse you since my fatwa said wait the grace period and they next said leave immediately both are right but this clear that up.

1.There is no waiting period (‘idda) due from a woman who converts to Islam while having been married to a non-Muslim man. Rather, a “grace period”, the length of which is thee menstrual cycles (or three months for post-menstrual women), is given to allow the husband to consider becoming Muslim: if he does, the marriage stands; if not, they are considered divorced and legally separated.

2.She does not have to observe the rules of the waiting period (‘idda) during the “grace period”; thus, she is free to go where, and do as, she pleases.

3.During the “grace period”, however, she may not remain living alone with the non-Muslim husband, nor be in any form of seclusion, nor have any marital relations; all the rules that would apply to a non-related man with a Muslim woman apply immediately upon her conversion.


Source: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=176&CATE=11
 

MariamK

Junior Member
Staying married to a non muslim man

As salam alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu sis julie,

i hope this reaches u in the best of well being and iman.Ameen.
i can not issue fatwa etc as i am no sheikha fil deen but the reasons im replying to ur post is to jst give one piece of nasihah (advice,) inshAllah. Sister you NEED to go to the masjid either with or without your husband and seek the advice of the sheikh at that masjid. From reading your post u been muslim for 2 years and yet ur hubby wont revert to islam yet accepts it..no offence it sounds a bit odd. Your muslim and you need to get the rulings of this situation..its not a waiting game to see IF your husband will revert or not.

May Allah make things better for you.Ameen
hiyyach Allah
 
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