I have just been Bamboozled what do I doooo?

[lostlilly07]

assalaam alaikum bro and sisters

as many of you may know from my previous text, that i am in school and currently attending a new school. I have attending this school now for 12 days. I have only met a few people, out of the thousands that attend this school, i hate being lonely (atleast in class) so being befriended by one person means alot to me and i try not to be ungrateful

well in my science class there is this girl who from the first day, always said hi to me, we help each other out if we can( both of us hate science) and we basically just talk to one another. this occurs mostly in class, outside of class we rarely talk, at least in the beginning but now we see each other campus, we may small chat and give greetings to each other. Well today I was just informed that this kind and gentle woman was a MAN.... dress like a girl. to be honest, when i first met her,...I sorta thought she look like a male but....i did not her/him to well to past judgement so ignore it...now I am worry what should i do. should i move my seat in science class, or just keep being cordial to her. I don't want to openly critize him/her because then I will be ostracize as being the extreme muslimah.

what would you do? advice please? I would ask what would the Prophet salallahu alahi wa salaam do but I doubt there he/she's living during his time.

 

[palestine]

wow! that's tough. i dk what to tell you. this is a perfect chance to perform da'wah. tell him about islam, i mean her....whatever. maybe through your kindness and such you'll be able to invite him/her to islam. don't be friends with him/her like too close, say your hi's and heys but don't get involved too much and also when u do talk to him/her you can involve islam. without saying this is islam. just let him/her figure it out. sorry tough situation. i have guys in my school who are girls too. but you recognize them cause they act and dress like girls (doesn't work so well though seriously). salam

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

Sister, as with all people show this person kindness and respect. You may not agree with the lifestyle and think it so sinful but honestly....do you think any sin you and I have committed are "less?" Be a good Muslimah and show this person compassion, we have no idea if this person is mentally ill. Furthermore maybe some people are being viscious and saying this person is really a man because she has coarse facial features.

I know you will do the right thing and represent Islam well, Inshallah

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[lostlilly07]

okay your both right....i will respect her( since that what he wants to be i will respect that) and try to incorporate in our conversation

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam aleikum

yes just act the same with her/him ,but dont be too close .

waaleikum salam

 

[Al-Kashmiri]

As-salaamu `alaykum.

Wow, what a situation! Maybe you should slowly drift away, and prevent youself from being too close. What a odd situation. May Allaah aid you..

 

[TheHumbleWun]

Salaam,

Such a rare predicament you are in.

Well it looks like you rarely talk after class with this person. In class, you should try to have minimal talk too. You can be nice, let them borrow your calculator or what not, but don't get personal with them, because it can lead to who knows May Allah swt assist you.

 

[sal12]

lol i didnt expect that! Just keep him at arm's length. I do the same with homosexuals. I don't treat them horribly or anything like that but I don't get too close. Just hi's and bye's is sufficient.

 

[Doris]

La haula ua la kuwatah ila bilah. Astagfirullah. In the Hadith Hasan from at tirmidhi/ibn Majah the prophet alayhee salam said: From the signs of jugment day is when man look like women and women like man." and in an another hadith " when the people of lut ( homosexuals) will appear among my ummah." la'natullahi alayheem.May Allah destroy them/ or guide them.

Simple solution with wisdom go somewhere else. Go one day 2-3 minutes late to class and sit somewhere else thus after that keep sitting overthere. And dear believers don't think when you talk to the kuffar and you see them all kind and nice that this is a sign that they like muslims. NO is not. actually Allaah ajauajal tells us in surah ali-imraan meaning: " You ( muslims) are the ones who love them BUT THEY LOVE YOU NOT." Just a reminder with who we are dealing with.

 

[al-fajr]

:salam2:

Thats crazy. Are you sure the person who told you isnt just pulling your leg?

I would move seats in science, I would also avoid him/her at all costs.. cos I'd be really spooked by something like that, it would probs give me nightmares if someone I knew suddenly said 'btw im a guy ' or I found out something along those lines.

 

[elixbrody]

I would speak to the person to see it it's true and if it is well I would tell him that such a behavior is not right, maybe the person has problems and you can indeed help that person that will be good, but if it is false you can still be good classmates
But it is kind of creppy
goodluck sister

 

[Superman_mb]

salam

this kind of people (i mean in between) mostly funny people that's why they also called as `gays` in english. sometimes i really enjoy their moves and jokes. but from a personal distance.

i had a very close friend in past for almost five years. i met with him in kind of an islamic hostel in turkey which my friend used to live. i was playing kind of classical sufi music instrument called ney, and he was really god singer, specially he song beautiful hymns. so we became friends soon. i like his friendship and used to visit his house many years. we did music together and talked about art and literature. he was funny guy. we always found something to enjoy. after five years i learned suddenly that he was a bisexual and he used to have many gay friends. obviously i stunned. and did not know how to react this striking reality. i did not quit from his friendship but i drew a distance between us step by step. i never questioned him but when i go to his house i used to pray my salats and talk with him regular things which we did before. but then he did not hide his personality and couple times i found him with his funny gay friends. they were really fun when we used to have conversations and they never spoke things which related to their species when i existed. eventually i left him.

this can be done. there are limits in persona's life that you can't share something common with others. so i believe connection between friends but after communication there are limitations. like our prophet (s/a/s) when raised to miraj gabriel said in some station this is the last place that i can't proceed no further. so we should know and clarify our limits. but anyway moslems also need to laugh sometimes

 

[user expired!]

asalamualaykum,

Dont mean to be rude but i would give them some advice and then stay away!

 

[lostlilly07]

well he/she was not in class but afterwards...she came up to me and ask me for my notes and wants me to help her out.....I told her I would be busy but I just feel bad...he/she just don't seem the doom that will come to them in the hereafter.

 

[TheHumbleWun]

Salaam,

Sometimes you just have to create excuses. Don't be too open. Once you do a favor, you open doors for more favors, which in return means closer friendship, and perhaps further deviations from the right path. Why waste your time on these kind of people when you can help yourself or even your own Muslim brothers and sisters.

Allah swt says:

"O you who believe! Take not for patrons unbelievers rather than Believers. Do you wish to offer Allah an open proof against yourselves? (4:144)

Everyone supports their own kind. Christians support Christians, Jews support Jews, gays support gays. You don't want to take them as close protectors and friends (Wali). You just have to avoid these kinds of people. There is a line between being nice and being smart. The smart thing to do is have minimal contact with this person.

 

[lostlilly07]

Salaam,

Sometimes you just have to create excuses. Don't be too open. Once you do a favor, you open doors for more favors, which in return means closer friendship, and perhaps further deviations from the right path. Why waste your time on these kind of people when you can help yourself or even your own Muslim brothers and sisters.

Allah swt says:

"O you who believe! Take not for patrons unbelievers rather than Believers. Do you wish to offer Allah an open proof against yourselves? (4:144)

Everyone supports their own kind. Christians support Christians, Jews support Jews, gays support gays. You don't want to take them as close protectors and friends (Wali). You just have to avoid these kinds of people. There is a line between being nice and being smart. The smart thing to do is have minimal contact with this person.

The best naseeyah( advice) i have heard thus far

 

[podolski11]

i dont know wat to say but careful now!