i need advice

[Ghareebah]

:salam2:

i want to ask how i can help a friend especially in ramadan. this freind of mine mashallah is a good sister and i love her. the problem she has is that she is constantly unhappy with her self, she has really low self esteem. many times she has told me that she hates what she is ..her confidence is low in almost everything ..and that whenever she asks allah for help she feels he will not answer her..because part of her is saying to her why should he listen to her? and the other half she says disagrees. she is in constant battle with her self and she said i am the only one she trusts out of her freinds and has asked me for advice. i keep reassuring her that if he puts her trust in allah that will suffice her. i feel no matter how much i say it is not helping, i would do any thing to lift this burden of her but i tried and i am not getting through!!! it is ramadan and i want her to feel that allah is listening and will eventually answer...it is realy sad and disapointing..i guese it is because she is so used to thinking this way that it is stuck with her. she says she wants to get married because she wants someone who will help her with her deen and love her and guide her...she has no hope that will happen..and her family arent much of a big help..she comes from a culture where many islamic belief are frowned upon like the hijab which she has adopted a few years ago..she feels lonely and depressed...and i need something that will lift her spirit for sure!! sonmeone pls advice me...

 

[Kayote]

:salam2:

Im sorry to hear about your friends emotional battle with herself. This truly is a big test.

First of all, I would suggest your friend to do what I have been TRYING to do myself, i.e. not to make excuses & take action. If she is shy or has low self-esteem, I take it, thats because shes not been out or is not much of a social person. She needs to amend this, as clearly she wants friends yet doesnt have many so she feels lonely.

Initially she may find it boring, humiliating & hard to keep the motivation to go to gatherings but she must persist. Hopefully you can help her with this by going to the gathering with her.

I would advise against thinking of marriage as the solution to sorting out the problem as that will only complicate things & as she will find, husband also expects certain responsibilities from his wife.

And Allah is not going to sort your problems out just because you want them to be sorted in a flash. Those who discipline themselves are the most successful in life. She should recite Quran & read translation to understand & please Allah. Insha'Allah Allah will help her with her struggle.

Remind her that patience is big part of our religion.

 

[ibnAbdullah87]

Did she tell you what she mean by she hates what she is. You should also tell her to read and ponder over the names and attributes of Allah and to call upon him using them, the ones most suitable for what she want. And I hope that will help her.

 

[Umm Aysha]

Asalaam Alaykum

I understand exactly what she going through ....all i can tell you is to tell her to be patient and not to lose hope in allah...allah (swt) suffuices all...

Also she can read 'sura ta ha' daily or as much as she can, which someone recommended to me, its for a good spouse insha-allah...

May Allah (swt) help us all.....ameen

:salam2:

 

[Ghareebah]

:salam2: jazakallah khairr for your advice, i will be inshallah telling her your advice, i just hope it helps her