Sehr geehrte Lisa,
Vor wenigen Tagen habe ich deine Mail gesehen und bis ich eine Antwort schreiben konnte, war sie schon verschwunden. Es freut mich, dass Bruder Ibn Azam schon eine Antwort auf deine Mail geschrieben hat.
Im Bezug auf das Vers möchte ich gern ein Paar Sachen klarstellen, die in der detaillierten Antwort von Bruder Ibn Azam nicht klar geworden sind.
1. Es ist falsch zu sagen, daß Islam Polygamie "erlaubt" hat, als ob sie sonst verpönt war und Islam sie eingeführt hätte. Die richtige Aussage ist, Islam hat Polygamie nicht verboten und die gängige Praxis der Polygamie eingegrenzt und geregelt. Die Tatsache ist, daß Polygamie in fast allen alten Kulturen ( inklusive vorislamische arabische und jüdische Kultur) eine gängige Praxis war.
2. In dem genannten Vers geht es gar nicht direkt um Erlaubnis der Polygamie sondern die Situation nach dem Krieg von Ohod wird diskutiert, als in der kleinen Gemeinde von Medina auf einmal sehr viele Waisenkinder und Wittwen zu finden waren. In jener Situation werden die Männer aufgefordert die bestehende Praxis von Polygamie zum Schutz der Waisen auszunutzen.
3. Nun zum letzten Teil deiner Frage. Wenn ein Mann und eine Frau eine Ehe schliessen, dann ist es doch selbstverständlich dass sie beisamen sein dürfen/wollen/können. Ich verstehe, dass es nicht sehr leicht akzeptabel für andere Frau(en) ist, aber gerade dieses Vers liefert ein Beispiel dafür, dass man dadurch (durch Polygamie) noch grössere Ungerechtigkeit verhindern kann. Ich verstehe, dass manche Männer (eine sehr kleine Minderheit) nur aus Lust diese "Freiheit" geniessen, aber das Schmerz und Ungerechtigkeit, die sie dadurch verursachen können sie auf gar keinem Fall mit diesem Vers rechtfertigen.
Nun muss ich auch auf englischsprachigen Online-Resoucen zurückgreifen. Im folgenden habe ich eine Frage und Antwort von www. understanding-islam .com kopiert.
Question:
Islam allows a man to have more than one wife, what is the significance of this? Do you think this degrades womanhood? I have wondered about this aspect of Islam but on asking various people.. I have never got a consistent reply.
I was wondering if you could clear this for me.
Answer:
It is more than obvious that an ideal family setup is the one in which one man and one woman decide to live their lives as man and wife. Islam makes no exception to this rule. There are a few points from which we can clearly derive from the Qur'an that according to the God's basic scheme for this world, a family should consist of one husband and one wife only. For instance, we can see that when God created Adam, it was not a team of women created for his service, but just one, to be his partner. In the same way, even today the balanced setup for a household is normally where one man and one woman combine to form a family. There is nothing in the teachings of the Qur'an or the narratives ascribed to the Prophet (pbuh) that negates this rule.
But even though an ideal family setup consists of one husband and one wife, there can be a number of situations where the society demands of a person to compromise the ideal family setup and enter into a second marriage for the general good of the society. It is exactly such a situation that is mentioned in Surah Al-Nisa', where the practice of polygamy has been referred to[1]. I would like to present a brief analysis of the related verses of the referred surah, so that the context in which this reference is made may be clear to you.
The setup in which the verses were revealed is that the Muslims in the battle of Uhud had lost many lives due to which many women had become widows and many children had become orphans. In this setup God says (the following is not a translation, but the theme of the related verses):
People, you must remember that you are all the creation of one God and the children of one mother and one father; the orphans in your society are but your brethren and kinsfolk. It is, therefore, your responsibility to look after the well being and interests of these orphans; if they are young and cannot look after their assets themselves, you must look after these assets for them, and in doing so, you must not unjustly consume their assets fearing that you will have to return it to them at the time of their maturity. In case you fear that you shall not be able to fulfill your responsibilities (regarding the assets and well being of these orphans) in a just manner, God allows you to marry the mothers of these orphans; up to four marriages. But in case you fear that you shall not be able to deal with these wives in a just manner then you must not enter into a second marriage.
As can be seen from the above context, the practice of polygamy has been referred to not for increased pleasure but to provide ease in fulfilling a socio-moral responsibility. In this context, we may say that there are two conditions in which the Qur'an has referred to the practice of polygamy: 1) There should be a socially justifiable reason for it; 2) If a person fears that he shall not be able to maintain a just balance in his dealings with his wives, he must not enter into the second marriage.
It is obvious that when a permission is granted for something, people may take advantage of such permission and use it for satisfying their personal pleasures. The Islamic state, in such a case can take action to check the misuse of such allowances.
In the present times, where a second marriage is looked upon with disgust, there are many instances where a widow has to spend the rest of her life all alone and nobody wants to marry a divorced woman etc. A man, who is naturally inclined towards marrying a young woman for his only wife, may be willing to take an older divorced or widowed woman for a second wife. One of the results of the tradition of taking a second wife, in the Arab society, was that men took upon themselves, as a responsibility, the support of divorced and widowed women by taking them as their wives. This, as can be clearly seen was a great advantage of the referred tradition.
To summarize the above points, Islam does not in any case advocate polygamy, it has only referred to the practice of polygamy, which was an accepted norm of the prevalent Arab society, in a particular situation where a person feels that a second marriage may help him in carrying out an important socio-moral responsibility that, in his opinion, he should fulfill.
25th April 1998
[1] It is important to note that the Qur'an actually has only referred to an existing and a well accepted institution of the prevalent social system. Polygamy is neither an allowance nor a prohibition of the Qur'an. It was an accepted norm of the society in which the Qur'an was revealed. The Qur'an has only referred to this practice while prompting the Muslims to take care of the orphans and the widows in the society. The Qur'an is neither an advocate for, nor one against polygamy. It is only an advocate for the moral well being of humanity. (Moiz Amjad, 22nd May 20
Question:
Why are four marriages still allowed for men and not women? That is unfair. Please answer my question.
Answer:
It should be clearly understood in the beginning that nowhere in the Qur'an does it refer to the practice of polygamy. Polygamy, as is quite well known, was a cultural norm of the Arab society. The Qur'an has not made any positive or negative comments on this norm of the Arab culture. In Surah Al-Nisaa, from which polygamy is derived from the Qur'an, the Qur'an has directed the Muslims to take care of the orphans living around them. It puts responsibility of the financial and social guardianship of these orphans on the Muslims. In the context of these directive, it says that if a Muslim fears that he would not be able to deal with these orphans or to fulfill his responsibility toward them in an equitable manner, he may then marry their mother if he believe that this relationship will help him in fulfilling his responsibilities toward the orphans and the widows.
However, despite this grave issue of the orphans and widows, the Qur'an attached the strict condition of justice between the wives and in case of any doubt in this matter, it directed men to remain limited to only one wife. This explanation shows that firstly, the Qur'an has not directly discussed the issue of polygamy. It has only been, indirectly, mentioned in the particular context of fulfilling a big moral obligation toward the orphans and widows of the society. In other words, whatever the norms of the society, the Qur'an has not given any statement regarding the number of marriages. It has actually mentioned that if a second or a third or a fourth marriage can help a person in fulfilling his moral obligation toward the society, then there is no restriction on such a marriage imposed by the Shari`ah. Secondly, the condition of justice also actually limits the scope of the number of marriages that a person may enter into, because it is not possible for every person in a society to afford four wives at one time. Justice requires that if a person has four wives then they should all be treated equally as far as financial and other apparent matters are concerned. Finally, even in case of fulfilling socio-moral obligations, the Qur'an has restricted the number of marriages to four. No Muslim is allowed to marry more than four women even if there is an extremely pressing socio-moral obligation that he may be able to fulfill with another marriage.
Even in such pressing socio-moral situations, only Muslim men are allowed to marry more than once. Muslim women are not allowed to marry more than once under any situation. The reason for not allowing Muslim women a second marriage is that firstly, Islam has made man the head of the family, the one who is responsible for the livelihood of the family. Thus, a second marriage of a Muslim woman will create two heads of her "family", which obviously shall be against the whole concept of an organized family set up that Islam wants to promote. Secondly, such an allowance will create doubts about the parenthood of the child, which may entail serious long-term consequences for the individual child, in particular and the whole society, in general.
It should be kept in mind that in the matter under consideration, it is not the equality between the sexes that is debated. The Qur'an acknowledges complete equality between men and women as human beings. Here it is a matter of social needs and socio-moral obligations, which the Qur'an has addressed, and in collective matters of the society, the principle of the Qur'an is not equality but justice. The Qur'an gives rights and responsibilities to men and women in this world based on their respective natural capacities and capabilities. Lastly, it may be of great interest to learn that the general idea of a family unit advocated by the Qur'an is monogamous. This is evident from the fact that God created only one woman as a wife for the first human being - Adam (pbuh). It is only in case of dire social needs that Qur'an compromises this ideal to achieve a higher goal.
I hope this explanation answers your question. You can always get back if you are still unclear. However, this is only my opinion in this regard and I admit any chance of mistake in forming this opinion. I would be open to other points of view if based on stronger reasons. May Allah guide us all towards the right path.
