LIFESAMPLE
New Member
Good afternoon everyone.
I am 25, French and Muslim since the first day of this year's Ramadan.
Here is my story.
I've been raised by my Swiss mother and half Algerian father. She used to be protestant but denied God after her father's death. His father was Muslim but he's been raised in a catholic church. He's always believed in God and raised all his kids with beautiful values and moral. Both have beautiful hearts and gave their lives to others, helping and advising to the right path.
Unfortunately in his early years, my dad married a woman who changed him and spoiled him. This woman was a kind of witch full of dirty spells. No one will never explain me how, but after his divorce (and 2 kids) and he married my mum, they accepted to accommodate his ex wife who lived under our roof until I was born. I believe that she put a kind of malediction into my family because their lives since them just changed direction. He turned into alcoholism and hard drugs. He almost died a few times. But he’s never been violent and has always been _despite his weakness_ the most giving person in the world. You can imagine how I grew up. I needed to be mature enough very quickly and was adult thinking by the age of 8. I’ve never been able to understand this world, how it works and why people act the way they do. My mum always told me to believe in men. I couldn’t understand how she still could believe in them. Secretly, in my bedroom, after crying for hours, I prayed God the way I saw it in movies and have been Listened by Him. I asked him not to be alone anymore and He sent me a sister when I reached 11.
Her parents are Senegalese. Her mother died months before we met and her father abandoned her and her 3 brothers and sisters when they were young. They were all Muslim. There’ve immediately been a connection between Maty and me. Not a normal one. Something told us that we would be linked for ever. We knew it whilst we were children. We became inseparable very quickly. After a few years, we completed each others sentences. Today, I don’t even need to talk to her anymore as I know what she thinks almost all the time. Something extraordinary linked us and saved us.
My parents also became very close to this whole family and decided one day to adopt all of them. They are a full part of the family and they've always been treated the same way than us.
But, not only did I find a family, I also found my religion.
When I reached 14, I’ve had a dream urging me to become Muslim. From that day on, I stopped eating pork and started studying Islam.
Although I was genuinely interested in religion, it was also our “teenage bad age” and my new sister and I started smoking cannabis a huge deal. After cannabis, it was alcohol and without even realising it we both were drinking one to two glasses of wine per day. It also happened to go to far with alcohol and each time I’ve been on my own facing the rest of the world, I drunk and drunk and drunk, sometimes to much for my brain to understand anything happening. I made huge mistakes and realised I turned my back to Islam.
A year ago, I’ve had another “revelation”. I realised that all I’ve been asking when I was a child actually happened, that all I’ve been praying for have been realised. And I understood how unfaithful I had been and decided to turn back to Islam. I learned how to pray on the first day of Ramadan this year. My sister and I are now in the right direction.
My father stopped drinks and drugs 5 years ago. It was too late. His brain is not working properly anymore, he’s got diabetes, hepatic, lung cancer and in a few days will have a biopsy and check on his vocal cords. Doctors told me he wouldn’t last a year. Up to a few months ago, I still thought I would never be able to forgive him for what he’s done to his family. Because of him, my mum is highly depressed and has never had a normal life, I’m quite weird and all his children are traumatised. But I realised recently that it’s not him who needs forgiveness but me. I should never have to judge my parents. Their choices were theirs and I’ve also made mistakes. Since then, my relationship with him improved a lot and we started talking. I discovered that he’s always been a Muslim in his heart. I told him I started praying and he was the happiest dad in the world. He is proud of me because I’ve taken a different path.
Today, I feel it’s my role to push him back in religion. His health is worse and worse everyday and I fear his lost soon. I now live in London but do my best to go back to France very frequently to see him. I’m afraid I don’t know what to start with. I don’t know how to put the subject on the table. I just want him to know the FATIHA before his death. I just wish he listens to me. But all he says is “it’s too late for me”.
If anyone, anyone can help me, please do.
I don’t know why I felt the urge to express myself today. It’s very rare, moreover on Internet. But I’ve been guided.
I’m sorry if some of you don’t find this text written well enough.
NAHID
I am 25, French and Muslim since the first day of this year's Ramadan.
Here is my story.
I've been raised by my Swiss mother and half Algerian father. She used to be protestant but denied God after her father's death. His father was Muslim but he's been raised in a catholic church. He's always believed in God and raised all his kids with beautiful values and moral. Both have beautiful hearts and gave their lives to others, helping and advising to the right path.
Unfortunately in his early years, my dad married a woman who changed him and spoiled him. This woman was a kind of witch full of dirty spells. No one will never explain me how, but after his divorce (and 2 kids) and he married my mum, they accepted to accommodate his ex wife who lived under our roof until I was born. I believe that she put a kind of malediction into my family because their lives since them just changed direction. He turned into alcoholism and hard drugs. He almost died a few times. But he’s never been violent and has always been _despite his weakness_ the most giving person in the world. You can imagine how I grew up. I needed to be mature enough very quickly and was adult thinking by the age of 8. I’ve never been able to understand this world, how it works and why people act the way they do. My mum always told me to believe in men. I couldn’t understand how she still could believe in them. Secretly, in my bedroom, after crying for hours, I prayed God the way I saw it in movies and have been Listened by Him. I asked him not to be alone anymore and He sent me a sister when I reached 11.
Her parents are Senegalese. Her mother died months before we met and her father abandoned her and her 3 brothers and sisters when they were young. They were all Muslim. There’ve immediately been a connection between Maty and me. Not a normal one. Something told us that we would be linked for ever. We knew it whilst we were children. We became inseparable very quickly. After a few years, we completed each others sentences. Today, I don’t even need to talk to her anymore as I know what she thinks almost all the time. Something extraordinary linked us and saved us.
My parents also became very close to this whole family and decided one day to adopt all of them. They are a full part of the family and they've always been treated the same way than us.
But, not only did I find a family, I also found my religion.
When I reached 14, I’ve had a dream urging me to become Muslim. From that day on, I stopped eating pork and started studying Islam.
Although I was genuinely interested in religion, it was also our “teenage bad age” and my new sister and I started smoking cannabis a huge deal. After cannabis, it was alcohol and without even realising it we both were drinking one to two glasses of wine per day. It also happened to go to far with alcohol and each time I’ve been on my own facing the rest of the world, I drunk and drunk and drunk, sometimes to much for my brain to understand anything happening. I made huge mistakes and realised I turned my back to Islam.
A year ago, I’ve had another “revelation”. I realised that all I’ve been asking when I was a child actually happened, that all I’ve been praying for have been realised. And I understood how unfaithful I had been and decided to turn back to Islam. I learned how to pray on the first day of Ramadan this year. My sister and I are now in the right direction.
My father stopped drinks and drugs 5 years ago. It was too late. His brain is not working properly anymore, he’s got diabetes, hepatic, lung cancer and in a few days will have a biopsy and check on his vocal cords. Doctors told me he wouldn’t last a year. Up to a few months ago, I still thought I would never be able to forgive him for what he’s done to his family. Because of him, my mum is highly depressed and has never had a normal life, I’m quite weird and all his children are traumatised. But I realised recently that it’s not him who needs forgiveness but me. I should never have to judge my parents. Their choices were theirs and I’ve also made mistakes. Since then, my relationship with him improved a lot and we started talking. I discovered that he’s always been a Muslim in his heart. I told him I started praying and he was the happiest dad in the world. He is proud of me because I’ve taken a different path.
Today, I feel it’s my role to push him back in religion. His health is worse and worse everyday and I fear his lost soon. I now live in London but do my best to go back to France very frequently to see him. I’m afraid I don’t know what to start with. I don’t know how to put the subject on the table. I just want him to know the FATIHA before his death. I just wish he listens to me. But all he says is “it’s too late for me”.
If anyone, anyone can help me, please do.
I don’t know why I felt the urge to express myself today. It’s very rare, moreover on Internet. But I’ve been guided.
I’m sorry if some of you don’t find this text written well enough.
NAHID
